Lohan may have turned 30 this past weekend, but her tits are only about 13 or 14 and her mangled jacked up face is only about 5 and her level of relevancy being 0 is about 4-5 also…I guess the fading into obscurity being unhirable and all that happened around the same time she started jacking up her face…

But she’s still Lohan, she’s still the redheaded object of desire, the queen of my universe when I remember she exists and she’s still lookin good enough for me, like a crazy rich wife on AMBIEN to deal with her miserable life shes got everything in…and I believe with her boyfriend’s billions, she will be able to finance a movie of her own and win that Oscar to just prove what both her and I already know…and that is that she’s fucking magic…being broken thanks to fucked up parents just gets in the way of that.

I am a forever fan, but no really that committed fan, because I don’t care about this nonsense or people I don’t know, but I like her tits and that is important…oh and I hugged her once and felt her broken soul against my chest, making me want to take her under my wing as I do with most crackwhores and give them a bowl of soup, but at the time, she was still rich and didn’t need billionaire boyfriends to sugar baby…she was her own independent puppet to her family, the media and the industry..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILO WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WOULD DIE AT 22 AND IN A LOT OF WAYS YOU DID….

Here are some of the best pics of her ever….in her CUSTOM LILO bikini….to bring back the good days….

At Least She’s Happy

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|LOLZ|SFW