My first internet business was a long fucking time ago, probably in 1999 – when I met a girl who had read somewhere that she could sell her panties online for something like 100 bucks a pair back when eBay was less uptight about shit – when the internet was a free and magical place of anonymity and perverts – before it became one massive reality show – featuring everyone and their mother self promoting, gossiping, and fucking judging each other’s shitty fucking lives…while producing content that attempts to give the asshole substance and meaning – when it’s all just a giant high school level of garbage…

Well…we figured if we found cheap panties, like 3 dollar a pair and we just used some glue stick and tuna juice on them, we could sell a bunch of pairs a day – and make a great profit…the only issue was she was 300 pounds and we couldn’t find someone who was semi hot to pose in daily panty photos…but I guess it was pretty enterprising of me and representative of my capabilities as a failure…who went onto be a blogger like fucking teen girl…instead of a dot com billionaire like so many idiots I’ve come across since 1999…

That said, Alessandra Ambrosio is a VS model who is old, tired, boring, but has new fake tits that she likes to show off in her latter years….still under contract, making me assume her ALES collection of bathing suits isn’t competitive to her masters who own her, but rather just a brand they own and give her royalties on – she’s given them enough of her life…

So when I say she’s selling bikinis, it’s not like pornstars selling their outfits from shoots, it’s actually just made in china shit that Donald Trump wants to end – if you’re lucky the only bodily fluid on it – is asian child labor blood…or tears…not Brazzilian model pussy juice….

This is the shoot in some fancy place….because this is what she does…it doesn’t even look like her…

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|SFW