Candice Swanepoel was popping her booty out on the beach, because she’s a Victoria’s Secret model and her existence is posing in a bikini, making her booty pop, but something’s weird about the stomach, I guess she never put that IUD back in and has been taking the loads, pregnant a second time in a year…like most women you hire, just abusing the Maternity Leave, or maybe she just ate a big lunch…

SO MANY VERY IMPORTANT QUESTIONS TO ASK ABOUT SWANEPOEL…a woman who barely fucking matters, but I guess matters to Victoria’s Secret because it’s the only job she’s ever really had…she looks good enough for me…for a mom….I mean…most moms in thong bathing suits are terrifying…hell most 30 year olds in thong bathing suits are terrifying, their asses and hormones all out of sync….with their uteruses begging to be impregnated…so whatever this is…it’s done good…I mean if being hot in a bikini is all that you need to be considered “good”…which to me is all you need….I don’t really worry about the actual substantial stuff like saving AIDS babies or animals in her Native South Africa, where they have a pretty high AIDS rate and who statistically she has a 67 percent chance of having AIDS, but that’s probably less from South Africa and more for keeping her clients happy…she is a model after all, like hookers…you must keep that check signer…fully satisfied.

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