If you look at these pics from afar, and you should, because Alba’s hands look old and scary as shit, because she is old and they don’t have a solid FACE INJECTION solution to make hands look as youthful and stretched out as faces, or if they do, Alba hasn’t bought into it yet…..despite EVERYONE knowing NECK and HANDS is the way to age a woman, like cutting a tree in half and counting the rings….if you know what i mean…

But if you look at these pics from afar, it looks like the aged Alba billionaire e-commerce celebrity, is on the side of the road giving herself a hunched over diddle cuz she just got that itch…or because someone punched her in the stomach…or because her old tired uterus is having some pre-menopause convulsions….or because she’s about the throw up….

Sure she’s really just looking at her tire with an ipad in hand but WHERE is the fun in that…the side of the road pervert diddler diddling herself is a better NARRATIVE….

I need to use the world NARRATIVE more often.

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Posted in:Jessica Alba|SFW