Minka Kelly is one of these barely-a-celebrity – celebrities that I totally missed the boat on.

Meaning that when she was not 39 years old and in her prime, you know back when she was sucking dick to get into movie and TV roles that she probably didn’t consider sucking dick to get into those jobs, they never do….I had no idea who she was and still don’t.

WHICH ONE IS SHE IN THIS PIC? SERIOUSLY

She was born to Aerosmith guitarist Rick Dufay and a groupie mom. I have no idea if her dad was in her life or if it was more of a sperm donation situation. She worked for a plastic surgeon who was going to give her tits instead of a paycheck, to which she said “No thanks, I have my own tits” and the rest is history.

She want on to be on tv shows I’ve never seen and a Maroon 5 video I’ve never seen and I just know that people are excited by her and here is her old ass tits in a bikini, even though they’ve been cum on by Derek Jeter between 2008 and 2011 and his sperm is toxic..a medical biohazard thanks to living that good life.

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