I found gum on the street today that was still half wrapped and I was fucking excited because the first thing I thought to myself was that I didn’t have to brush my teeth today and anything that gets me out of boring hygiene practices that are totally outdated is fine by me. Enough with my good news….

I came across these pictures of Anna Kournikova eating in a bikini top and I didn’t know whether they were old or new, but figured I sure as hell better post them before my 2 readers who I hate lash-out on me…

I went to the strip club last night because there are serious deals on drinks on monday night, I always call it hurtbag mondays because the people in the place are just as fucking desperate as the girls working…I am talking the ugliest of the ugly strippers are there trying to make ends meet because the weekend didn’t work out too well for them because no one got a dance.

The most amazing thing happened when I got there. All the prime bitches were out working, the college kids were back in town and showing their new found friends what strippers in this city are like and that’s when I realized it was Tuesday, and that I missed hurtbag Monday by a day and that depressed me more than I thought it would. The only real hurtbags in the place were a group of fat chicks who showed up an hour before closing to land some already primed guys they knew were leaving blue-balled. I guess deep down inside I feel at home on hurtbag monday.

I can only assume your life is even more depressing because you read about mine so here is some Anna Kournikova emotionally eating her way into a size 14 for you.

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