There was some event called the Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala last night and besides it being one the most obnoxious sounding event names a lot of people showed up. The more interesting of the bunch was probably Michelle Trachtenberg because she wrapped her nipples up like a Christmas gift, despite being a Jew, while wearing a pretty see through top. I guess being left out and watching all those Christians in her elementary school class doing the secret Santa gift exchange while she sat in the corner playing with her dreidel while speaking yiddish to herself has emotionally scarred her enough to develop an addiction to wrapping up everything in the house on a regular basis in gold paper, sometimes even her body parts or maybe she just didn’t want us to see her Jew nipple. I heard they don’t look like a regular nipple because of the generations of inbreeding and obsessing over the whole Holocaust thing they can’t seem to get over, but they sure are good at making money and not spending it on tipping waiters.

Posted in:Michelle Trachtenberg|Nipples|Pasties