Michelle Trachtenberg Archives Archive

2024

22

Jan

Michelle Trachtenberg Scares the Fans of the Day

Michelle Trachtenberg is going viral for posting some of these pictures, because her fans were genuinely concerned about her well-being. She looks that bad in the pics.

They saw her thinning hair, they saw her all old and shit, they saw her weirdly dyed hair, like she’s some kind of middle aged spinster lesbian who has that cat parasite that has turned her into a chronic knitting monster who is constantly outraged by various things on social media…

I don’t think Trachtenberg was ever hot, but she did tell me that she didn’t get her period until she was in her 20s, which could potentially be seen as hot to the people into not knocking up their emotionally stunted women who were starved out to get movie roles by their evil stage parents….

At the time she was pretty obese, so the whole looking like a middle aged mom with an auto-immmune disease, maybe one too many vaccines, maybe one too many bad break-ups isnt’ quite hot to me, but better than pics of how obese she is…definitely not quite hot…but better than body positivity…

Things die, hair falls out, walls get hit when you’re a chick, life keeps going on….there’s plenty of hot pussy to fixate on while this one clearly dies off before our eyes…

Michelle Trachtenberg had to address the fan’s concern and let them know “This is aging bros, it’s not 1999 anymore, you Buffy nerd perverts who have kept me alive all these years”….

Posted in:Michelle Trachtenberg

2020

26

Oct

Michelle Trachtenberg Cleavage of the Day

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Michelle Trachtenberg once told me that she only got her period in her 20s thanks to being stage parented and under extreme stress her entire life….only to take on emotional eating to fill that child star void….but there was a time when BUFFY THE VAMPIRE fans were obsessed with the younger season as they would be thanks to being weirdo nerd perverts…so for those of you still out there, since you’re too pussy to kill yourself despite how pathetic your lie is, not that suicide is an option and I always recommend sitting back and watching the insanity unfold because it’s hilarious….your dream girl is still around but now with bigger titties…maybe not the biggest her titties have been in her fat years since she’s looking less fat…but still bigger than when she was a prepubescent at 20 tv star….

Enjoy.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Michelle Trachtenberg

2013

27

Aug

Michelle Trachtenberg’s Strategic Bikini Pic of the Day

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You may remember Michelle Trachtenberg from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, where she became famous as the younger one everyone wanted to fuck, who am I kidding, fans of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, are still fans of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in some weirdo fucking obsessive nerd way that includes but is not limited to a binder with all your favorite pics of the stars of the show, models you’ve made of the stars of the show, and possibly one or two weddings and vow renewal ceremonies you’ve held for your Star Wars action figures, because your life is sad…

I am sure she’s been in other things, but I’m not going to bother looking into it, because it doesn’t matter, what does matter is her secret internet fatty pic, of her in a bikini top, shot from the belly button up, hiding any girth she’s been packing, with her head dipped down to cover any double chins, all clever and almost as erotic as the first time you jacked off to her freak.

Posted in:Michelle Trachtenberg

2012

23

May

Michelle Trachtenberg Titties for FHM South Africa of the Day

5 Comments »

Michelle Trachtenberg is usually a pudgy, uninteresting looking girl, who people were into cuz she played the little sister on Buffy….and who luckily people are still into cuz she played the little sister on Buffy…because any dude who watched that how…was likely a socially awkward virgin loser who can’t let go of the past…partially because those were the best years of his life…but more importantly because during that time he made a vow to always love Michelle Trachtenberg…for the rest of eternity cuz in his mind they are soulmates….Obsessive fans are so passionate…..

That said, I always just blew her off as someone on TV or still around cuz virgin losers never let go of the past…it is a nerd thing…but thanks to FHM South Africa…it turns out she’s got tits…and tits are really where it is at….so virgin loser fan base or not…all of a sudden she’s relevant to the masses and the new generation who have no idea who the fuck she is.

Posted in:Michelle Trachtenberg

2011

16

Feb

Maxim Bottom Feeds with Michelle Trachtenberg of the Day

4 Comments »

[IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT]

This is funny to me on a few levels. Firstly, I hate Maxim. I think the magazine is shit, itt’s struggling, they can’t get a decent bitch in a photoshoot, but more importantly, they are fucking assholes. Their vice president emails me consistently acting like a total cocksucker…

So when I saw this Michelle Trachtenberg shit, a bitch who people only found hot cuz she was Buffy’s underage sister on a show that lured in the perverts, over a decade ago…

So when I saw them trying to make her doughy, uninteresting ass sexy, I realized, this was one of the final nails in the coffin of a magazine you’d think was innovative, if you were an idiot frat boy with no grasp of reality…which I am pretty sure you are…

So here is their promo video 10,000 people watched in the last 5 days, cuz Maxim is a sinking ship….

And now I wait for their idiot marketing executive to email me to take this down, when he should be hiring me as his replacement, cuz clearly he fucking sucks and this is all his fault.

No offense to Michelle Trachtenberg, I’m sure she’s a decent person and all that shit….She’s just not meant for Maxim and is the victim in all this…

Posted in:Michelle Trachtenberg

2010

02

Jun

Michelle Trachtenberg Has her Period of the Day

6 Comments »

I think there is a responsibility a girl has when she decides to be Hollywood. Sure Michelle Trachtenberg isn’t anything major. I think she’s got a low level role on Gossip Girl and may still be riding off her Buffy money, but she’s still on fucking TV, she still writes she’s an Actor when she applies for credit cards, and apparently she doesn’t take that duty too seriously. She is in the public eye. She needs to make dudes want to fuck her to get better paying gigs, instead she gives us this lazy, sloppy, pig of a person mess. That lack of drive or interest in turning us on has got to be the reasy why she’s got a pretty ghetto career….so here she is dressed like a slob fat chick on her period. Who knows, maybe that’s a niche fetish, and she’s catering to you…but I think she needs to go back the drawing board…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Michelle Trachtenberg|Sloppy

2010

26

Jan

Michelle Trachtenberg Does Complex of the Day

2 Comments »

You pervert virgin losers who used to masturbate to Michelle Trachtenberg back when she was on Buffy, because for some reason, Buffy really appealed to perver virgin losers, who were some of the most committed fans any TV show has ever seen, so committed that they still email me asking me to post more bullshit on the bitches from that show, and I guess I shouldn’t hate on it, since I never saw the shit, maybe it really was a life changing, revolutionary show and the people who tattooed the shit on their dicks, or who stapled pictures of Trachtenberg to their pillows, should be happy…..She just did a hot photoshoot for Complex, remember hot is a relative term, and despite her ignoring me on the internet all these years I’ve reached out to her because I thought her career was dead, but apparently she’s on Gossip Girl. I don’t consider her a friend, or really all that relevant but I know that you consider her your wife of 10 years (or however long the show has been off the air) and mother of your imaginary child (because that’s what happens when you get imaginary married) and you haven’t met her yet. I guess that’s part of her appeal….

Follow This Link To See The Photoshoot
GO

Posted in:Complex|Michelle Trachtenberg

2009

13

Nov

Michelle Trachtenberg and Her See Thru Sleeve of the Day

11 Comments »

Remember Michelle Trachtendberg, well it turns out she’s a whore. Milking the whole see thru clothes trend for attention only taking it to the next fucking level…by wearing see thru sleeves….what won’t girls do to get noticed these days…the whole fucking thing is seriously out of fucking hand. Next thing you know they’ll be wearing see thru pantyhose under their dresses and skirts….it is a crazy world we live in and Michelle Trachtenberg just makes it official….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Michelle Trachtenberg|See Thru

2008

20

Oct

Zac Effron Turns 21 and Sluts Come Out To Set Him Straight

3 Comments »

Zac Effron turned 21 and I didn’t get an invitation to his party because my penis isn’t big enough, I have to admit that I was a little heartbroken when I found out he insists all men around him have 11 inch erections at all times, something I couldn’t even compete with if I had a penis . But when I found out this birthday went down pretty much 2 minutes ago, because Zac Effron news isn’t something I stay on top of, especially when I am not asked to be a part of the day he became legal, I figured I’d do a birthday post for him and the 21 topless, waxed, muscular men hired to dance for him privately in his hotel suite and for the cougars who made it out to his party in hopes of swaying him to their side of the fence, and by their side of the fence I mean, into their pants, and by the looks of it, they both failed and left the party alone. If only they wore pants but they didn’t, so here are the cougars Amanda Bynes, her legs and Michelle Trachtenberg and her legs and I guess on the positive side of things, it’s always nice to see girls who you used to fantasize about preying on when they were 16, who you have replaced with other 16 year olds, doing some preying on some young pussy of their own, not that Zac Effron has a pussy, other than the man pussy in his ass that’s been popular at the gay clubs, but based on his hair he just wishes that he had a real one of his own so liking girl things wouldn’t come with such stigma and I am not talking about Vanessa Hudgens. In fact…I have no idea what I am talking about or why I did this post.

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Michelle Trachtenberg|Zac Effron

2008

12

Sep

Michelle Trachtenberg is Worth Fucking of the Day

16 Comments »

Some people say Jews are worthless people that are always out to make a dollar. I say Jews aren’t worthless at all because in their quest to make a dollar they run big businesses, they are doctors and they are lawyers and politicians helping people and run Hollywood and Fashion Industries entertaining people, but I will say that Jewish girls are generally not hot, so when I see a seemingly worthless girl, not because she is a Jew but because she doesn’t do anything worthwhile and who happens to be Jewish look as good as Michelle Trachtenberg does in these pics, I realize that she does have worth to whoever the fuck is fuckin’ her because I know I like what I am seeing.

Maybe it is just because compared to every Jewish girl I’ve met, she doesn’t look like a rat-faced monster and I am just excited that finally someone has broken down my preconceived notions, but in my preconceived notons defense, Jewish girls aren’t hot, it is just smoke and mirrors.

The same smoke and mirrors Michelle Trachtenberg is trying to use by hanging out with supermodels because despite being a hot Jewish girl she realizes that she can’t be a supermodel but does everything in her power to hang out with them, including going to their events, in hopes to be hotter by association, it’s that Jewish drive and ambition and keen business sense shining through in her marketing of herself and showing off them tits.

Here she is with Maria Sharapova at Fashion Week

Posted in:Michelle Trachtenberg|Tits

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