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Archive for the Britney Spears Category

2007

19

Apr

I am – Britney Spears Likes to Dance of the Day

britney_spears_dancetop.jpg

I am all about bitches in dancing gear, I guess that’s why I used to sit inside American Apparel watching girls try on leotards until the fuckers caught on to what I was doing there. What they didn’t know was that I used to go to dance schools and sit in watching the 17 year old girls bend all kinds of ways in their little leotards like I was researching which school to send my stepdaughters to, until I overstayed my welcome after 4 hours a day for 3 days straight, saying I was being thorough didn’t really fly. I guess there was also the time that I’d hit up every dance recital until I was known in the local dance community, I told them I was a classically trained dancer but due to injury had to retire but could never retire my love for the art, but that didn’t last too long, when they invited me to perform for their school and I pretty much embarrassed the fuck out of myself, kinda like Britney has been doing the last 2 years of her life.

I like to think that connects us on so many fucking levels and not only on the slutty dance outfit and ripped fishnets with her ass hanging out to make me smile one. Cuddles.


Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted

2007

17

Apr

I am – Britney Spears Upskirt of the Day

britney_upskirt.jpg

There’s nothing more exciting than seeing a crazy girl who has had 2 babies flashing her panties. Actually, that is a lie, there are a lot of things more exciting that that, but I can’t seem to find them now. Britney’s been getting shit on pretty hard by everyone for the whole being fucking insane but I am okay with it. I am more into a girl who has completely lost her mind because they are usually easy to seduce, not that I’d want to be alone with this psycho for fear of being stabbed, but there’s no harm in thinking about it…

I was talking about Britney earlier today with some homeless motherfucker who seems to think she’s fucked up. I think being called insane by a guy who smears his shit all over bus shelters every night at 4 am is probably a bad sign. I told him that this was a whole scheme for her comeback, but he seemed to think that her little girl fans were probably scared of her, before showing me pictures he had taken of his shitty bus shelter art. If he is right than seeing her slutting out on stage probably won’t happen unless that stage is in a mental institution and it’s for their Christmas pageant. Either way, I don’t care, as long as her demise involves lots of nudity, upskirts, sex tapes and throwing her feces at the paparazzi because feces is the theme of this post.

Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted

2006

10

Feb

Post-Pregnancy: Britney Tit


I have said it before, I like to repeat myself, because I never remember who I said it to. It could have been on this site, but my archives got fucked in the move, unlike me, I never get fucked, and when I do, it’s by something you wouldn’t want to get fucked by and it’s really not by choice, but that’s no the point of this story. Pregnancy is the worse STD a bitch can get, I know all you anti-abortion jesus lovers are thinking “pregnancy is beautiful, it’s what keeps our religion alive”. But I come from a different school of thought and that is that kids follow you around for life, they mooch off you and cost you money, you have no control as to whether they are going to be cute or not, they never respect you and most importantly, they destroy your body, there’s no full recovery. I’m talking nothing ever fully whips back into shape, not the assaulted cooter, not the milk-bag feeding sack titties, not the belly or the ass…it may look like it does sometimes, but that’s just smoke and mirrors. Now, look at Britney’s nipple, the fucker is bigger than my head. You can’t tell me this shit’s sexy, in two years from now, she’ll write a memoir and in it, it will say “I wish K-Fed only gave me herpes, not herpes and a baby, ya’ll”. That’s my fucking story.
BritneyPregBod.jpg

Posted in:Boob|Britney Spears|Pregnancy|Sex|Unsorted

2006

07

Feb

Britney's Parenting Techniques


This is all over the internet, I saw it on TV already, there’s really no point in me posting it because I have nothing interesting to say about it, but I generally don’t have anything interesting to say about much. I guess in Britney’s defense, I will say that my mother was a whore, as in a prostitute and not a whore as in I am a spoiled little rich kid and I hate my whore mother. Anyway, the point of the story is that she used to make me watch her get fucked by random men, I guess they were paying customers and she just wanted to show me what fucking is all about, I was lucky that the few times she did use condoms. She didn’t make me put them on for her, like her own personal condom applicator. I used to smoke cigarettes and drink booze with her when I was 5, and she was between jobs, she treated me like I was her useless slave and made me fist one of her friend’s in some on-stage performance. I think she made 10 dollars or something from it. I had no idea what I was doing at the time and in retrospect, one would find that a little disturbing, but I found it hot, and still do. We were in Mexico and we needed to eat.

All this to say, if driving with your kid on your lap is so bad, you should look at what your neighbors are doing to their kids behind closed doors and more importantly, Britney is rich, and nothing bad ever happens to the rich people.

Posted in:Britney Spears|kids|parent|Slut|Unsorted

2006

07

Feb

Britney’s Parenting Techniques


This is all over the internet, I saw it on TV already, there’s really no point in me posting it because I have nothing interesting to say about it, but I generally don’t have anything interesting to say about much. I guess in Britney’s defense, I will say that my mother was a whore, as in a prostitute and not a whore as in I am a spoiled little rich kid and I hate my whore mother. Anyway, the point of the story is that she used to make me watch her get fucked by random men, I guess they were paying customers and she just wanted to show me what fucking is all about, I was lucky that the few times she did use condoms. She didn’t make me put them on for her, like her own personal condom applicator. I used to smoke cigarettes and drink booze with her when I was 5, and she was between jobs, she treated me like I was her useless slave and made me fist one of her friend’s in some on-stage performance. I think she made 10 dollars or something from it. I had no idea what I was doing at the time and in retrospect, one would find that a little disturbing, but I found it hot, and still do. We were in Mexico and we needed to eat.

All this to say, if driving with your kid on your lap is so bad, you should look at what your neighbors are doing to their kids behind closed doors and more importantly, Britney is rich, and nothing bad ever happens to the rich people.

Posted in:Britney Spears|kids|parent|Slut|Unsorted