Geri Halliwell Archives - Page 5 of 5 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

04

May

I am – Spice Girl Reunion of the Day

So I’ll Tell You What I Want, What I Really Really Want, and that’s for the Spice Girls to go back in time and look like they used to . I know that aging is all part of life, otherwise we’d never get old and life would be all Peter Pan pedophile shit, but looking at them now, all post pregnancy or currently pregnant brings back pretty vivid drunken memories of me trying to jerk off to their music videos. I guess what I am trying to say is that life ends for a chick after she gives birth, her body goes to shit and she should probably do whatever she can to stay out of the public eye as much as possible, because sometimes it’s nice for us to remember the good times, and not be forced to witness the demise…Sure, I can respect that having a family and creating life and all that shit is beautiful in theory, but no one ever said it makes you pretty and I have little interest is seeing a once tight bodied Scary Spice’s Eddy Murphey induced cellulite. That’s all I have to say about that.

On a side note, I have no idea what they are doing hanging out together, I can only assume they are going to try to cash in on being mom’s by launching some children’s album or some shit, but they are probably more like the moms who meet at my starbucks after doing mommy yoga together, to discuss how amazing life is and how having a baby changed their life forever, setting up a life of competing amongst friends about which kid is the best and laughing at their single friend who is still going out every night and fucking random men trying to fill that void…..At least they are doing it dressed like sluts….

2007

19

Apr

I am – Geri Spice’s Box of the Day

1 Comment »

Hey look, it’s Gerri Spice’s box, I thought it’s be dirtier and a little more busted up, mainly because she used to be a hooker but also because she’s had a baby, but I guess that was a pretty shitty joke that I have dropped before.

Watching girls moving is my new porn, especially when those girls are rich enough to pay people to do this dirty work for them. Maybe she’s trying to keep busy because she hasn’t done anything in 5 years, maybe she spent all her money on lipo, maybe I am just a lazy fuck who likes sitting and who won’t even bring up his own fucking groceries because there’s always bored, homeless, meth kids around to do it for me. Meth kids are pretty much going to fuck over our economy because the motherfuckers have a lot more energy than 400 pound fat sluts who take 10 minutes to pour me a fucking coffee at the local donut shop because getting their fat hands to grip around the cup while all out of breath is too hard to fucking handle for them…

Either way, here’s Ginger’s box. Fuck you.

Posted in:Geri Halliwell|Ginger Spice|Unsorted

2007

19

Apr

I am – Geri Spice's Box of the Day

No Comments »

Hey look, it’s Gerri Spice’s box, I thought it’s be dirtier and a little more busted up, mainly because she used to be a hooker but also because she’s had a baby, but I guess that was a pretty shitty joke that I have dropped before.

Watching girls moving is my new porn, especially when those girls are rich enough to pay people to do this dirty work for them. Maybe she’s trying to keep busy because she hasn’t done anything in 5 years, maybe she spent all her money on lipo, maybe I am just a lazy fuck who likes sitting and who won’t even bring up his own fucking groceries because there’s always bored, homeless, meth kids around to do it for me. Meth kids are pretty much going to fuck over our economy because the motherfuckers have a lot more energy than 400 pound fat sluts who take 10 minutes to pour me a fucking coffee at the local donut shop because getting their fat hands to grip around the cup while all out of breath is too hard to fucking handle for them…

Either way, here’s Ginger’s box. Fuck you.

Posted in:Geri Halliwell|Ginger Spice|Unsorted

2007

13

Apr

I am – Geri Halliwell’s Ass of the Day

1 Comment »

I have a thing for older ladies who have kids and over compensate by losing a lot of weight making them better to look at than they were before having kids. Unfortunately, most girls let themselves go because pregnancy makes them fat and lazy and they never fucking bounce back, that’s why you gotta watch out who you knock up, not that you really have a chance, at the rate things are going, your family name ends with you, because you have to have sex to knock a bitch up and donating sperm doesn’t fucking count because you never know where that shit ended up, for all you know some science lap is hybrid breeding donkeys and you.

Either way, I am all about older bitches because they are menopausal, and menopausal means they can’t get pregnant, and not getting pregnant means no condom, and no condom means good times. Not to mention they are pretty eager to slam because they are all mid-life crisis ridden trying to prove they still have sex appeal. I guess that’s where this piece of shit post ends…

Posted in:Geri Halliwell|Ginger Spice|Unsorted

2007

13

Apr

I am – Geri Halliwell's Ass of the Day

No Comments »

I have a thing for older ladies who have kids and over compensate by losing a lot of weight making them better to look at than they were before having kids. Unfortunately, most girls let themselves go because pregnancy makes them fat and lazy and they never fucking bounce back, that’s why you gotta watch out who you knock up, not that you really have a chance, at the rate things are going, your family name ends with you, because you have to have sex to knock a bitch up and donating sperm doesn’t fucking count because you never know where that shit ended up, for all you know some science lap is hybrid breeding donkeys and you.

Either way, I am all about older bitches because they are menopausal, and menopausal means they can’t get pregnant, and not getting pregnant means no condom, and no condom means good times. Not to mention they are pretty eager to slam because they are all mid-life crisis ridden trying to prove they still have sex appeal. I guess that’s where this piece of shit post ends…

Posted in:Geri Halliwell|Ginger Spice|Unsorted

2006

02

Feb

Ginger Spice, Career Starts…Career Ends….

10 Comments »

Beginning

End

This one’s called Ginger in the Beginning and Ginger in the end. It’s a little commentary on how fast we age and how short life really is. In Geri’s useless mind, it feels like just last week when she was sitting there posing for some amateur photographer for a couple quid to pay for her flat and for her club kid drugs. Now bitch is old, washed up and is rockin a gunt. This slag’s rockin’ a carpet to cover up the fat.

I am not hating on Geri, I actually think she’s a very talented singer, and will be likely be performing on some resort for a tab at the bar and a room to sleep in, until her uterus drys up, falls out on stage and is sold on ebay, so Geri can afford estrogen therapy and a one room apartment, cuz no one wants a singer with no uterus.