Shakira was on America’s Got Talent a few days ago, because apparently you don’t need to be American to be the guest on the show, and she did her stupid dance every motherfucker is masturbating to, despite how fucking awkward lookin’ the shit is. The only reason I am posting this is because I just got on the computer and I am trying to buy time, it’s not because I think she’s got talent…
Archive for the Shakira Category
2009
16
Sep
Shakira’s Short Legs in Some Tight Jeans of the Day
Everyone has been freaking out about the new Shakira video that I assume has been out for a while, but that I slept on because I don’t really care about bitches who claim their breasts are small and humble, especailly when they aren’t 18 anymore, but according to all my creepy friends at the park, apparently shit is one of those music videos you can jerk off to, which hasn’t happened in a long time, and I guess she can get away with it cuz she pulls the “latin” card, you know where she claims her people are much more in touch with their sexuality and bodies, when in reality all the latin women I know have fat asses and are addicted to eating tacos and will stab you in the neck while you are sleeping because they dreamt you cheated on them, so I tend to stay away from that shit…especially when they sing with her the stupid sounds she makes with her throat that remind me of some kind of duck hunt, or tribal mating call, but I’m not gonna hate on her, even though these pics lead me to believe she’s got short, stalky legs and I hate that shit….
Pics via Fame
Posted in:Shakira|Tight Jeans
2009
17
Jul
Shakira in Some Leggings of the Day
I know that I’d rather see Shakira on all fours with an 14 inch dildo in her ass and a fist in her pussy because I hear when you get a Columbian girl enough coke, everything is fuckin’ possible, they are like cartoon pussy who do shit that other girls find impossible, but since that shit only happens in my imagination, I’ll settle for pictures of her in her leggings leaving the gym, because even though she’s 10 years older than when we first started our one-sided relationship, I still haven’t seen her pussy, so leggings are a good enough reminder that the popstar who got away, may have a second round, ideally a really fucking trashy round in her….ust next time, let’s get some shots from behind….because leggings without being able to check out the ass are really just a waste of fucking time…
2009
04
May
Shakira’s Ass in Concert of the Day
The best thing to come out of Columbia since cocaine has got to be Shakira. Not because she reminds Wyclef of a Westside Story, or even because her ass is amazing, but because Columbia is a good for nothing piece of shit country that should be erased from the fucking map, I’m just kidding, I’ve never been to Columbia, I know nothing about Columbia, but where the fuck was I supposed to go with this post, when everyone knows she is the best thing out of Columbia since cocaine because because her ass is amazing. There’s nothing fun in that. I’d rather start wars and shit disturb. So that said, fuck you Columbia, you third rate Mexican wannabe cocksuckers.
2007
11
Jul
I am – Shakira’s Ass of the Day
Shakira’s body defys all odds of physics as we know it, and I mean that in the best possible way. She gives hope to us young girls that we don’t have to starve ourselves in order be attractive. I also read somewhere she’s got an incredibly high IQ, but for all I know her publicist thought it would look good and just threw that in there to try and dim the fact that she looks like a stripper 98% of the time, which may or may not be a bad thing depending who you talk to.
I go to school with this girl who wants to be a stripper, no shit. She wrote about it in an essay for our Creative Writing class in a sort of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” type thing. It wasn’t some shit like “Oh, I wanna do it to put myself through med school” (which is always a lie btw) or even “I just wanna do it to make some cash.” this is actually what she wants to do for a living.
The look on the teachers face was priceless when she walked up to read her essay, and the content was filled with choosing a name which projects the type of image you wish to be known by, how she plans to deal with other strippers who want to fight her, and the art of using the pole to the best of her ability. Most of the girls just shifted uncomfortably in their desks, while the guys all seemed to have a new interest in her after class. I just laughed my ass off at the fact that my stepfather would probably be throwing dollar bills at her within the next 6 months.
Posted in:Ass|Shakira|Uncategorized|Unsorted
2007
11
Jul
I am – Shakira's Ass of the Day
Shakira’s body defys all odds of physics as we know it, and I mean that in the best possible way. She gives hope to us young girls that we don’t have to starve ourselves in order be attractive. I also read somewhere she’s got an incredibly high IQ, but for all I know her publicist thought it would look good and just threw that in there to try and dim the fact that she looks like a stripper 98% of the time, which may or may not be a bad thing depending who you talk to.
I go to school with this girl who wants to be a stripper, no shit. She wrote about it in an essay for our Creative Writing class in a sort of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” type thing. It wasn’t some shit like “Oh, I wanna do it to put myself through med school” (which is always a lie btw) or even “I just wanna do it to make some cash.” this is actually what she wants to do for a living.
The look on the teachers face was priceless when she walked up to read her essay, and the content was filled with choosing a name which projects the type of image you wish to be known by, how she plans to deal with other strippers who want to fight her, and the art of using the pole to the best of her ability. Most of the girls just shifted uncomfortably in their desks, while the guys all seemed to have a new interest in her after class. I just laughed my ass off at the fact that my stepfather would probably be throwing dollar bills at her within the next 6 months.
Posted in:Ass|Shakira|Uncategorized|Unsorted
2007
26
Mar
I am – Shakira’s Bra of the Day
I was pretty fucking drunk last night and I don’t really remember anything funny happening except maybe the dude who I caught finger banging some slut he must have met in a bar on a park bench near the bench I rock. It was like a live sex show that didn’t turn me on because I could smell her ratty box from my seat. Don’t get me wrong, random fat girls who let random dudes finger bang them is what makes my world go round but I guess I am just too desensitized to appreciate it.
Speakin’ of desensitized, here is Shakira in see-through, something I have seen so many times a couldn’t give a fuck about it but will post it anyway because you are a fuckin loser and get off to this shit. Loser.
2007
26
Mar
I am – Shakira's Bra of the Day
I was pretty fucking drunk last night and I don’t really remember anything funny happening except maybe the dude who I caught finger banging some slut he must have met in a bar on a park bench near the bench I rock. It was like a live sex show that didn’t turn me on because I could smell her ratty box from my seat. Don’t get me wrong, random fat girls who let random dudes finger bang them is what makes my world go round but I guess I am just too desensitized to appreciate it.
Speakin’ of desensitized, here is Shakira in see-through, something I have seen so many times a couldn’t give a fuck about it but will post it anyway because you are a fuckin loser and get off to this shit. Loser.