Shakira is in the recent issue of Elle and it’s not all that eventful, but maybe I am just bias and don’t really like celebrating new moms, under any circumstance, and if I feel the need to look at Shakira pictures, I’ll go back to her booty shaking tweak videos from before she was a pregnant cow….

The only reason I am bothering with these is because she’s showing off cleavage, an new addition to her body thanks to being a pregnant cow, all full of milk, and I guess she made the point of saying her breasts were small and humble, that you can’t confuse them for mountains in one of her hit songs, well that’s still true, but they are bigger than they used to be, and she seems pretty happy about that…

If you need more reason to hate Shakira, you can tune into the Voice, where she plays a latino version of Christina Aguilera, even though Aguilera pretends she’s latino, only Shakira, is a few bra sizes smaller than that cow…but equally annoying.

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Shakira and her husband Gerard Pique, some soccer star who plays for FC Barcelona….posted these pics to promote her online baby shower…you probably heard about yesterday…but that I ignored because the whole pregnant thing has turned Shakira invisible to me…even if her breasts are small and humble and even if her hips don’t lie…I kinda wish that parasite inside her belly did…cuz looking at this shit freaks me out….in what I think is the most unnatural thing to do to yourself…even if it is the foundation of humanity and the one thing that is natural…I just can’t wrap my head around it…like I can’t wrap my head around these topless couple photoshoots people do….friends have sent me similar shit…and I have seen similar shit on facebook and it is the worst….and should be kept to themselves as a memento of what they find a beautiful thing…because they are the only one who find it a beautiful thing….

It is just on some fucking level of trailer park scrap booking…something I guess Shakira isn’t too far off from…cuz despite being rich…she’s still a latina….and latina’s notoriously do it tacky and loud….

Here are the pics if you’re into having a good laugh…

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Yesterday there was a story of Shakira surviving a Sea Lion attack…resting and covered in bruises…after escaping death like the action figure she is….and today we have Shakira on the beach….proving yet again that celebrity gossip is a pile of shit…but it’s almost tolerable when the celebs are half naked….cuz good or bad looking……half naked is always good….

The again…these could be old pics…and I could have my time line all fucked up and these are just the trials and tribulations of a job that isn’t a job….it’s such hard work for something that doesn’t fucking matter..

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I don’t know what Shakira was winning awards or presenting…and I’m too lazy to look it up…because I am only paying attention since she’s wearing a tight dress, showing off her “small, humble, but can move mountain”-Shakira, tits and the ass she likes to parade around like some kind of south american show girl booty dancing at Carnivale, cuz that South American angle is her hook….making you wonder what drug cartel her father, boyfriend, or Colombian management team was a part of to help her infiltrate the modern world with her songs….because I could use some of that Yay….it’ll likely get me laid…you know since girls love free coke…and will trade their vaginas for it more than you probably know…making that 40 dollar investment can save you 200 dollars on escort fees…not that has anything to do with this whore….but she gets enough attention…it’s time for local cokewhores everywhere to shine….

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I don’t think Shakira is as interesting, or amazing, or hot as all the perverts on Youtube….but I have POSTED ON HER ENOUGH to appreciate her ass shaking in video as much as I appreciate any bitch who makes ass shaking videos that go viral…whether hot, tight and South American….or big fat and black…shit always makes me happy….even when I go to strippers and I see the young bitches practicing their ass shaking in hopes of one day being a pro ass shaker I laugh to myself….cuz ass shaking is what life is fucking made of, too bad we’re all going to die this upcoming year…RIP us.

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Here is Youtube sensation and International Popstar Shakira…pushing 40 and shaking her Colombian ass, because like Sofia Vergara, cocaine money, or at least the pure Colombian got her where she needed to be…a place where shaking her ass to irritating sounding music on youtube would generate 100,000,000 views….cuz shaking ass is always fun to watch…especially when she was an International popstar….not that it matters…

She was in concert in Madrid…in a variety of outfits…none all that hot…but I don’t care….she’s squatting and I love seeing bitches squat so I’m posting it anyway….

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These pictures prove to me on thing and that is that Shakira should stick to being dolled up in videos shaking her ass in a if you take the bitch out of the kitchen, eventually she’s gonna wanna vote….Not that I know what that means, I was trying to get at that sometimes things don’t translate the way you’d want them to as a man who likes the idea of jerking off to her…because the hard truth that she’s older, not so hot, and that drug money paid for this, gets in the way of that….

I don’t know if it is the popularity of Soccer, or the popularity of the way she shakes her ass, but that EXPLOITATIVE SONG ABOUT AFRICA got 400 million views….far more impressive performance than this rolling around on the ground shit she’s pulling in these pics..

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Shakira Shakira reminds of a bitch who can shake her ass on youtube as she exploits her south american roots to make American trash feel cultured and open to new worlds…as long as those worlds involve serious ass gyrating…which is really all I care about when it comes to other cultures…fuck the food, music, it’s all about the women…and I blame National Geographic for that cuz in the 80s, those tribal pics were all I was able to jerk off to….

Here are some pics of her legs, crossed and ready to be uncrossed, but the paparazzi didn’t get the basic instint shot…what a waste.

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Shakira is fucking annoying. She’s so intense in her performances that I can’t imagine her being legit, or I don’t want her to be legit and actual behave like this, because that shit just scares me and I’d hate to experience her convulsing and experimental, possessed by a demon behavior anywhere but on stage, because I’ve crossed the street, left bars and public bathrooms, over people who have moved and acted as unstable as like this in everyday life…

I am convinced she’s just trying to make people think she’s an artist, and really with a body like that, she can move and shake all she fucking wants, cuz lookin at it is worth the weirdness. There’s a reason she’s number one in youtube for ass shaking.

Here she is performing Friday at the Rock in Rio music experience.

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Fuck Shakira and her most viewed video on the internet. I think her 35 year old ass is boring as fuck…I mean until it starts gyrating in some hispanic/latino/amazingness….and the whole thing reminds me of last night in my regular crackhead park cuz they had a Latino fest and I saw pregnant chicks, obese chicks, young chicks and old chicks of all colors and shaking their asses in ways I didn’t understand but knew I liked despite how vile some of the bitches were…it was like I was seduced by the shit…imagining how it looks when it fucks….and unfortunately, I didn’t get to fuck one of them…I got too drunk to take advantage of the port-o-potty of seduction….

Either way, here’s Shakira in concert, ass in tights, doin’ alright in these almost romantic ass pics of the bitch…

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