I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Unsorted Category

2006

15

May

I am – Lisa Rinna's Tit Pimple…

lisarinnatits.jpg

Someone emailed me this picture last week, I never got to posting it, because no one really gives a shit about Lisa Rinna. She is a Soap Opera Star turned Primetime Soap Opera Star back in 1996. Since Melrose Place has been off the air since 1998, this bitch hasn’t been up to much, but a whole lot of plastic surgery and attending random events like a d-lister should.

The reason I am posting this is becaue she has a pimple on her tit, and it’s always fun to laugh at people’s imperfections. Unfortunately, she probably embraces it since acne is a sign of youth, something she is clearly trying to hold on to. I remember when I had a pimple on my dick years ago that wouldn’t go away no matter how much ProActiv I used. It turned out it wasn’t a pimple at all and I’d like to thank Marina the hooker I used to date, and by date I mean pay to bang. Cuddles.

Bonus: Rinna at the Erase MS Disco Party

Lisa Rinna Posed for Playboy While Pregnant and I was Sent the Pics. If you want to see them click this link.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

15

May

I am – Lisa Rinna’s Tit Pimple…

lisarinnatits.jpg

Someone emailed me this picture last week, I never got to posting it, because no one really gives a shit about Lisa Rinna. She is a Soap Opera Star turned Primetime Soap Opera Star back in 1996. Since Melrose Place has been off the air since 1998, this bitch hasn’t been up to much, but a whole lot of plastic surgery and attending random events like a d-lister should.

The reason I am posting this is becaue she has a pimple on her tit, and it’s always fun to laugh at people’s imperfections. Unfortunately, she probably embraces it since acne is a sign of youth, something she is clearly trying to hold on to. I remember when I had a pimple on my dick years ago that wouldn’t go away no matter how much ProActiv I used. It turned out it wasn’t a pimple at all and I’d like to thank Marina the hooker I used to date, and by date I mean pay to bang. Cuddles.

Bonus: Rinna at the Erase MS Disco Party

Lisa Rinna Posed for Playboy While Pregnant and I was Sent the Pics. If you want to see them click this link.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

13

May

I am – Taking a Link Dump on Steve's Chest

Picture-6.jpg The week is over officially with this post. That is because I barely post on weekends, because I am usually too drunk to focus on the computer. I kinda feel that way right now….but I have enough in me to press “Publish”. That’s how much I love you fucking pieces of shit now click these links and have a good weekend.

Another Girl and her Homemade Erotica on Flickr
One of the Bitches on Grey’s Anatomy Lookin Busty
DoubleViking Took Pics at E3 of Hot Bitches Working the Booths…
Uberbitch Naomi Posts Pics of Naked Girls and the Pics of Herself
OJ Simpson Has Some Kind of Reality Show
We Like Jessica Simpson’s Breasts, we don’t like her BRA

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

13

May

I am – Taking a Link Dump on Steve’s Chest

Picture-6.jpg The week is over officially with this post. That is because I barely post on weekends, because I am usually too drunk to focus on the computer. I kinda feel that way right now….but I have enough in me to press “Publish”. That’s how much I love you fucking pieces of shit now click these links and have a good weekend.

Another Girl and her Homemade Erotica on Flickr
One of the Bitches on Grey’s Anatomy Lookin Busty
DoubleViking Took Pics at E3 of Hot Bitches Working the Booths…
Uberbitch Naomi Posts Pics of Naked Girls and the Pics of Herself
OJ Simpson Has Some Kind of Reality Show
We Like Jessica Simpson’s Breasts, we don’t like her BRA

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

13

May

I am – Lohan Stalker Post of the Day

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This is the sixth person I have contacted as part of my Lohan Stalking project. Not one of them has emailed me back. I can only assume they are uncomfortable with this whole thing. I guess that’s what makes it so funny to me. Today, I contacted DJ AM, Nicole Richie’s boyfriend and owner of a club Lohan frequents called LAX. I tried to sound serious thinking it would get me a some love. It didn’t. Here is Lohan Stalker Post of the day. Cuddles.

Dear Adam Goldstein aka DJ AM,

I am sending this message in regards to an ongoing project I have undertaken at DrunkenStepfather.com, and that venture is to stalk Lohan.

I am a lazy man so my stalking involves emailing people who may or may not have had contact with Lohan. In hopes that she finds out about the site, calls the police and has me arrested, so that we meet while she is testifying in court against me, because that is humor to me.

I wanted to ask you if you could give me one of the glasses she drank out of in your club. It would go into my Lohan box, unfortunately not in Lohan’s Box. If that doesn’t work for you, could you give me her email address, or an email address to someone close to her, maybe her drug dealer seeing as he probably sees a lot of her. I know you are in the club business and that it could be damaging if you out your patrons as crackwhores, but it’s all for a bigger cause…and that cause is my stalking post.

Let me know if you can help.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com


Lohan Has Lunch:

Lohan Shops:

Previously on DrunkenStepfather:

Lohan Stalker Post 5
Lohan Stalker Post 4
Lohan Stalker Post 3
Lohan Stalker Post 2
Lohan Stalker Post 1

Posted in:stepSTALKER|Unsorted

2006

13

May

I am – Comment of the Week

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So far no one has taken us up on the offer of a free t-shirt for the best comment of the week, and that works for me considering we have no more t-shirts left. I’d like to say we sold out, but reality is we needed something to clean up a mess a certian someone made in the step office, while drunk and had no paper towels. It’s no big deal, a t-shirt is a shit prize anyway and you fuckers shouldn’t have accepted that from me. You should have demanded an XBox or a lease on a new car for a year or some shit. Unfortunately, that will never happen. I don’t even have a car. So this is the comment of the week.

New comment on “I am – Lohan Stalker Post of the Day”
Author : Frothy Afterbirth

Me thinks Jules is way cuter than Lohan. Unlike Lindsay whose just about to get premature wrinkles, liver spots and skin cancer along with those freckles before the age of 21. Julie is fresh faced and rosy pink all over, hell shes over 25. Maybe because I’m drawn to redheads. Wonder if she is a natural redhead? Cause redheads do have the pinkest tuna.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

13

May

I am – Ashlee Simpson on the Runway

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I can’t tell if these pictures are pre or post op. I can’t afford eyeglasses, so to me she looks just as busted as before, and you’d think that before spending all that money on surgery, she’d take a little time out for her legs, you know, do a couple squats or some shit to get rid of her cellulite. I know all the bitches out there reading this tell themselves that all girls have cellulite, it’s got something to do with having babies, and needing the fat to feed the baby or whatever the fuck it is, but I know for a fact that that isn’t true. Lots of girls don’t have cellulite and those are the girls I like hanging out with. I know I sound like an idiot, considering I am fatter than Oprah was at her fattest, but I stand by the fact that I am a dude and an internet celebrity so that guarantees some decent pussy for me…at least that’s what I tell myself. Speaking of decent pussy, it looks like Joe Simpson’s getting a nice piece of Jessica, just like the old days, before the cameras and media got in the way……

Bonus: Jessica Loves her Daddy

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

12

May

I am – Fetish of the Day

Today’s Fetish of the Day is Belly Button Fetish. This is where dudes get off to a girl’s belly button, whether it’s from licking it or watching the bitch play with it. This fetish is not my fetish, and I actually find it fucking gross. That is probably because I have smelled my own belly button before and it wasn’t the hottest of smells. But it was very vaginal…..I guess the thing with fetishes is that they are weird, and not everyone understands them, but just cuz you and a couple like minded ppl you found on the internet think it’s okay to diddle a belly button or jerk off to videos of another dude diddling a belly button, doesn’t mean it is. The scary thing about all this is that the man in the mask could be your dad, husband, teacher or the guy who works at the bank you got your mortgage at….

I wrote this October 2005 and it made me laugh cuz I am a genius….

…I am more into the puberty years where I make girls dress up like a school girls, cheerleaders and Lohan. I sign their permission slips and report cards and I attend their PTA meetings. I teach them the inner working of sex and they teach me the latest dance moves. Fuck dressing like a baby it’s all about being with someone pretending to to be old enough to be your baby.

I just quoted myself. That was really fucking lame. But it just happened and you witnessed it.

To see a collection of Belly Button Fetish Video Clips – Click THIS Link!

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

12

May

I am – Email of the Day

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This is a picture I took while walking down the street drunk. I have no idea who the girls are but I do know that I told them I would make them famous and they yelled mean things back at me. I accidently only took the shot of their tits which is probably better for all of us, because they are probably really fucking ugly and we don’t need an ugly face to ruin a solid set of tits.

This is an Email I woke up to this afternoon. I am telling you that this shit works. Whenever I wear it the girls I meet either LOVE ME or HATE ME instead of ignore me.

Hi Jesus, you can post my message on your site, but please keep this shit anonymous:

That Pherlure cologne thing kinda worked for me. I’ve been on a pussy dry spell since I dumped my GF a few weeks ago. I had gone to a few clubs with no success. I’d try to hit on some girls, but it seems I had lost my touch from having been in a steady relationship for so long.

Then yesterday I went out with my friends, I had put on like one spray before leaving home, just to test it. I dunno if it was the confidence boost, or if the thing really works, but I danced and made out with 3 girls that night. I didn’t get laid but I have 2 phone numbers in my pocket this morning.

I’m probably gonna try it again tonight, I’ll keep you posted if anyone cares. I don’t have a camera, so forget about pictures. Anyways they don’t prove anything.

Call me L.

If you want involved Click This Link and get involved….

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2006

12

May

I am – Paris is Happier than Nicky Hilton of the Day

hilton-bridge.jpg

I’ve seen a lot of pics of Paris. I have also seen her movie over and over and over and over again, not because I like her, but because she’s a bad fuck and I found comfort knowing that someone who seemingly has everything in life, from nice cars to nice houses, rich lovers to international fame and a even a videogame…still have their flaws….in her case it’s not being able to fuck properly.

It also goes to prove that just because a bitch fucks a lot doesn’t mean she’s any good at it. You’d think that hiring a whore, or dating a girl who’s banged 100s of dudes will rock you like no other, but they are usually bad. Firstly they are jaded cuz they’ve had so much cock, secondly they are numb in their huge cunts because they have had so much cock and thirdly they probably fucked the 100s of dudes because they have self-hatred issues (thanks Oprah), they did that shit to feel accepted and worth something, so sex for them is some fucked up psychological shit, proving that they don’t like the act of sex, they like the thought of being wanted, and last time I checked thoughts the bitch I was banging had didn’t make me cum any harder.

Point of the story is that Paris Hilton despite her flaws still smiles while Nicky is always so miserable…I wonder why that is? (that was a rhetorical question, I don’t actually want emails about this)

Bonus: Matt Leinart (a football player) Leaving Paris’ House this Morning…Meaning They Had Sex and he now has an STD.

Another Bonus: Paris in Lingerie, You can see her cunt definition..the same cunt that gave Matt Leinart (a football player) an STD.


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted