Dad Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2009

03

Apr

Miley Loves Her Daddy of the Day

Here’s a little awkward father daughter moment, between Miley and Billy Ray, you know keepin’ shit country, because if he made her, she belongs to him and he can do what he wants with her and you can’t say anything about it, meddler.

It’s the kind that reminds you of that porno movie that inspired you, about the father/daughter sexual relationship that went sour when the ugly sister finds out and feels inadequate.

You know comedic gold with legendary lines like “the stuff that made you going back in you” and “you sure didn’t learn that from your mother” and “stick it in her ass Leroy, I don’t want no bastard grandbabies”.

Unfortunately, that I can’t seem to find anywhere because shit was bootleg. It’s called Sharon, was shot in ’75, takes place in Atlanta, so peep that shit out if you can, it changed my life.

Here’s the video….

Posted in:Dad|Love|Miley Cyrus

2009

22

Jan

Kristen Stewart’s Dad’s Name is Cletus of the Day

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Kristen Stewart's Dad Gets In Paparazzo's Face

Kristen Stewart’s dad is white trash. I hear he gets in the paparazzi face because he looks like a Jew and racists hate Jews the most because they aer white. I also hear that when he’s not inseminating bulls, he’s playing with a collection of panties from the women he’s raped in his tool shed. He doesn’t like dentistry, but he does like smoking, drinking and breaking shit and eating mustard out of the jar while reading magazines with full spread pussy shots, because it is his only option when it comes to reading material….because words are hard to read, but spread pussy is universal. He’s jerked off to his daughter at least once while she was sleeping and has successfully convinced her to shower with him when her mom was at work, and by work I mean in line at the welfare office, because watching the stuff that made her go back in her is what makes his world one worth living in.

Posted in:Dad|Kristen Stewart

2008

29

Jan

Britney Spears isn’t Crazy She’s Just Embarrassed of Her White Trash Dad of the Day

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If you watch this video of Britney’s chaos last night that had to do with some kind of manic episode that her manager is blaming on her paparazzi boyfriend, you’ll see her redneck child-molesting lookin’ father telling the paparazzi to fuck off and that was the highlight of the video.

Reality is, who gives a fuck about Britney’s mental health issues and demise, or her sleazy immigrant boyfriend’s rise to the top, or her sister’s teenage pregnancy when you’ve got this toothless fuck who talks out of the side of his mouth like a small town tractor mechanic buying bullets at the local Wal Mart because he’s got rats in his shanty he calls home, to laugh at.

It is one of those things that proves that America is the land of dreams and anyone can become rich and famous no matter what sewage pipe their family crawled out of…All kidding aside, I am sure his daughter’s drama is putting strain on his family and has forced him to miss some KKK meetings back home, which is too bad because I heard his local chapter got themselves a gay black jewish dude last week and that’s like a trophy for they are so rare to come by.