Dita Von Teese partnered up with Christian LeBoutin, the shoe guy, to create a vintage luxury lingerie line called XXXTIAN…reminding everyong that if you’re an average looking girl with a fansite in the 90s, rocking a scam like Burlesque, where your original end goal was todo Playboy or something, you can parlay that into something major if you pretend it is exclusive or artistic.

This girl must be in her 40s now, and gets paid millions of dollars a year to do what she does….cosmetic companies love her, now lingerie and fashion brands love her, and she’s not even hot, in fact, she did burlesque because she wasn’t hot enough to do real stripping, and it fucking worked…

Be a slut or a whore, but don’t let anyone know that you are….position it and win…

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I hate the Art of Burlesque, not that it’s actually an art, it’s just something average looking fat chicks attached themselves to during the punk rock era, when everyone was a fucking rockabilly and obsessed with Betty Page…it’s like all these tattooed up bitches and their stupid bangs in vintage lingerie with their belly hanging out at shitty rock shows acting like they aren’t disgusting because they are in costume…never actually showing their tits or pussy like a real stripper…making them even more of a farce…and Dita Von Teese is the leader of that, even though her early fame came from internet whore behavior when no one else was internet whoring…and even delved into some lesbian porn before actually hitting, and now she’s got her own line of glasses and these are the shitty ads…that will inspire more fat girls to do stupid dances half naked for 10 people in their communities.

Garbage.

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Dita Von Teese was a gutter fetish model before she got “famous” on the internet, landing some Playboy shit that turned her into a Jenny McCarthy, star fucking, mainstream version of a pin-up model, in an era when Burlesque made a comeback, well she posted one of her earlier clips, ballerina feet in pie, and I had no choice but to post it, because it’s a ridiculous fetish, and more importantly, any girl can do this at home for some extra money, without feeling like a gutter hooker, even if like Dita Von Teese, you are.

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Dita Von Teese sucks. She’s just one of those right time/right place situations….a socially awkward nerd who found the internet in a time when the mainstream wasn’t on the internet….developing a fan base that was strong enough for the mainstream who hadn’t been on the internet and were slow to get on the internet to assume it meant she was famous….in what I like to call the “Tila Tequila Syndrome”….only I think Dita Von Teese was before Tila Tequila…but pretty much the same fucking story….dudes like bitches who get naked online and add them as friend on myspace…mainstream media find out about myspace and see dudes like girls by their friend count….recruiting them to be in their Playboy magazine….laying the foundation of a career as a 1940s obsessed Pin-Up/Burlesque icon who lacks any and all originality…who stirred the pot and got so many fat chicks involved in the movement…all sloppy with their nipple tassels on….when all Dita Von Teese shoulda really been was a lesbian pornstar…like her earlier work depicted….

So the internet made her a star…an artist…an icon in vintage stripping movement….but it ruined her lesbian porn career she was into when trying to get famous…..making her an all round fail…but here she is simulating toplessness regardless…

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Dita Von Teese has consistently shat on burlesque and pin-up…she even made herself famous and a poster girl for the shit in the 90s…when this shit was done in every city by fat local rockabilly chicks who might as well have been lesbians…and who you encouraged to not striptease but to instead put on some fucking Elvis the fat years in Vegas jumper…cuz the 50s are alright…as long as you’re not 50 pounds overweight…kinda thing…

Seriously, it’s like every ugly chick with nautical stars and a sacred heart tattoo and a beer belly…with wild hair was down to get in a corset and get on stage…and I don’t know if that’s still going on…I’ve tried to ignore it…

But Dita…she was the Phoenix who rose from the ashes….she had a website before websites existed….got the attention of Playboy and the rest is fucking history…she went for early internet Burlesque girl…cuz they rest were too busy eating and working call centers….and now she’s deemed some “artist”….and the whole thing is just one big good timing lie….but she still brings it…she plays it up…and even in Flaunt…pushing 40…she’s at it…with her nipple pasties and vintage lingerie….it never ends with this discount bargain basement betty page….and I think you like it…

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For the record… I DO NOT FIND DITA VON TEESE HOT or ATTRACTIVE or INTERESTING …In fact, I think she’s a fucking scam….I didn’t care about her when she was an average at best with shitty implant girl working for playboy thanks to some internet success she had early on in the internet game…not even when she was shooting softcore lesbian porn and I sure as hell don’t give a fuck about her now, 30 years later….She’s got an act that works for ugly chicks, the pin-up shit that is played out and she just happened to be the poster girl of….but apparently China does care about her…coz they got her to pose in lingerie for them…and I guess that’s good enough strategy for a bottom feeder like her…cuz if you can get 1 dollar from 1 billion people…you’re pretty fucking set financially…especially at the tail end of your hooker slut game…cuz one day…Betty Page impersonator is gonna have to hang up her vintage lingerie….

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I don’t know when this Dita Von Teese lingerie shoot was shot…but more importantly I don’t care….I didn’t care about Dita when her name was something less theatrical…before her internet fame turned playboy and I don’t care about her now…even her pre-celeberity lesbian porn videos are anti-climatic….which I guess makes sense…cuz so is all lesbian porn…but still…why care about some hag with a novelty act half naked when I don’t even watch videos of her at her prime…before all the bullshit celebrity happened…yet for some reason…I just did this post…I’m so confusing…

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