I make fun of Emily Ratajkowski because I am an asshole, but also because I don’t like that she got too famous for being topless model to answer my emails. I take things personally like that, but these eager to be famous girls are pretty much all the same, and when fame finally hits, they stop emailing you pictures from various photoshoots they want you to promote for them…

In fact, they don’t ever acknowledge you ever again, because they are busy and got what they wanted out of you, which is very low level marketing, since 3-4 people actually read the site…

I will say, that there is no glory in being the second person to ever post Em Rat Cow pics early on in her career….in fact it doesn’t accomplish anything for your soul, bank account or penis.

That said, I do need to give Emily Ratajkowski props where props are deserved, and that is that as a young girl with huge boobs on a skinny frame, willing to get topless, she’s managed to really build a career she otherwise would never have had…giving hope to young girls every where that getting naked pays off if you’re smart about it.

So for that, I don’t resent Em Rat Cow…or her bird-like, debatably overrated face that I would have assumed would fade into obscurity but that just booked an new movie…she’s famous.

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Emily Rat Cow who was once Emily Ratajkowski…then EMRATA because every bitch with a weird Ethnic name needs herself a nickname that has a nice flow to it…it makes jerking off to them much more romantic…like a love song…than being screamed at in a german prison camp “RATATATATA KOOOOWW SKII”…

But now, she’s Rat Cow…because she’s got a face of a rat, a personality of a cow, her 5 minutes are up. But she’s still got tits.

Tits she’s well aware of, and tits that she knows helped her achieve her 15 minutes…and anyone who is blinded by her tits, and thinks she’s hot..or talented…or worth keeping around, is just ignorant and doesn’t realize the level of hot pussy in the world that has less of an ego and more talent than this barn yard trash.

Here she is taking pics of herself…practicing for when everyone in the world stops caring, not just me, and she’s left forced to take herself out back and shoot herself…up on some old yeller shit…with more selfies and less dead animal…I was just throwing out some metaphors, since we are all intellectuals here.

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Emily Ratajkowski pulled out her tit on instagram because she’s subtle…and realizes that without her tits she is nothing and that the focal point of anything she has done and will ever do will be her tits, so why not give them some glory…because without her tits she’s a nothing…and even with her tits she’s a nothing…just a nothing hosting these tits…tits she likes to make shine…

Her nickname is still RAT-COW…

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Emily Ratajkowski is going to now be referred to as RAT-COW because she’s got the face of a rat, and is a fucking cow of a person…

She did this “artistic” fashion video for TREATS, who always bring the fucking good shit to the internet and I am a fan of their work…even when it features horrible people like RAT-COW.

In fact, TREATS are the reason why RAT-COW Exists. They are the magazine that made her matter. They shot her naked when no one was watching, and she was just a Kanye jump-off with no where to go. They got her cast in the Blurred lines video, and that shit too her viral…now she is crawling back…because she has no where left to go.

The Rat-Cow, although an interesting species, is going extinct.

The world has seen your 2 dimensions…your 2 tits…and that is all that really matters….and leveraging that into a serious acting career is a joke, but showing off your acting skills in a fashion/art/titty video is an even bigger joke.

The Rat-Cow, is just an overrated titty model and that’s fucking it…if this leads to anything bigger and better I’ll be shocked…even when, she’s attempting to show her depth as an actress, her fans with watch it and love it, but I’ll just find her a waste of fucking time…except for the tits…the tits are good…to look at…for now…as the Rat-Cow is on the slow ride to the slaughterhouse where shit ends….

I mean why is she crying, it’s just a fashion Video Rat-Cow…why so tormented, oh is it because you know you’re taking steps back and not forward, and the strip club stage in your near future brings tears….or is it just that she’s such a deep character actor…you know put a wig on this bitch and she doesn’t need a storyline or script…she’ll cry everywhere like she did when her boyfriend Kanye, who she groupied for a year, chose Kim over her….

Who cares…tits.

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I am a firm believer that Emily Ratajkowski is on the decline. I think last year was her breakout year, and pretty much gave us all she has to offer. I don’t think the attention span of the general public is really in this one for a long haul. I mean sure she’s got an interesting bird face, and massive tits, and big fake looking lips and tits, but so does every fucking lap dancing stripper I know….

She got in a viral video, people liked her tits, the mainstream media interpreted that as relevant, like they did with Tila Tequila, and now she’s just riding that wave as it comes into shore…because there are so many more interesting, friendlier, prettier, bustier, amazing girls that Emily Ratajkowski…

She just pulled off a good scam, and with every scam, you eventually get cuaghter.

I guess GQ is giving her one more shot, but this time next year, you won’t even remember this bitch…unless she proves me wrong, which is possible…I’m wrong all the fucking time…I mean look at my life…clearly I’ve been wrong before, like in every fucking choice I’ve made!

here are the GQ pics…

I really don’t think Emily Ratajkowski is hot. But I think she brings hope to average girls with big tits that one day they too can be on the cover of GQ…a year after they are relevant…because GQ is slow to the gate…

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I wonder if Emily Ratajkowski realizes she’s a one hit wonder..like that she made all her dreams come true last year…and now there’s no where to go from here…it’s like everyone has seen her tits, everyone cared and though “Oh, She’s So Hot”…but now she’s old news, we’ve seen everything and don’t care if she can act or if she can sing or dance…we don’t care if she books Playboy or fucking Victoria’s Secret…she didn’t even win the Sports Illustrated Rookie of the Year award that was paid for by the people at Guess? and the Hadid household…

Is this ass pic a “hey cry for attention, I’m still here”…or is she just the exhibitionist she always was….

Who cares, I just hope she gets desperate and starts calling like she used to…it will happen, because it always does…the more desperate he girl is for attention the more Facebook messages I get…and they are welcomed because I would still let her suffocate me by sitting on my face.

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Emily Ratajkowski’s fake tits like attention…they are the reason she became an it girl despite being a horrible, talentless twat incapable of anything interesting…except maybe fucking Kanye…when Kim was pregnant..

You know just a set of tits that are starting to realize they don’t matter enough for people to care about her, that without them she isn’t that hot, and that putting them onto instagram for the fans, who don’t know why they are her fan, other than being tits on a hugely popular video, because like I said, her tits are all that matters…

I’ll still look, even though I know in a year no one will remember her.

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Emily Ratajkowski is up to her old tricks…and by tricks I mean…TRICK…

You see she got her start as a girl on a Kanye video who had sex with Kanye after the Kanye video who Kanye would ship around to various places to continue to have sex with her…at least that’s what I’ve been told…and she leveraged that into posing nude for a bunch of magazines, because magazines like nude models with awesome tits, they don’t require the models to be tall, hot or talented, just nude and then she booked the blurred lines video, where she was also nude, and shit went viral because of it’s horrible catchiness that every radio show owned by the record companies put on repeat…

Then she booked Sports Illustrated, made a lot of money, and the fast paced internet world doesn’t care about her anymore, she’s not hot enough to be interesting, and so she decided to get back to titty modelling, because lets face it, it worked the first time…

I’m not a hater, she’s just a horrible, egotistical person.

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The nice thing about Emily Ratajkowski and her freakishly weird belly button, is that she will fade into obscurity. You see she was a busty topless model who tried so fucking hard to make it. She shot with every photographer she could, yet no one fucking cared about her, or noticed her, except for me…and then all of a sudden, she’s cast in a massive massive music video as the key tits…and boom…over…booking jobs, booking movie roles, booking Sports Illustrated, all while being average at best, a little bird-faced and despite being in her early 20s, like she got her face rebuilt by botox and other fillers…

I don’t hate her, I just laugh at how the internet works, one thing goes viral, and it brings all the pieces that are part of it up with it, but like all things with no talent to back up what she does, and when another smoke-and-mirror Kanye West groupie comes along, the world will forget that Emily Ratajkowski ever existed…except maybe for me, because I think she’s lovely, even if she’s stopped communicating with me now that she’s famous, despite communicating with me before she was famous on a regular basis…I’m not mad, it’s expected from fake-ness…it’s just the internet.

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