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Archive for the Holly Montag Category




Holly Montag in a Bikini Top of the Day

Here is my friend from Facebook named Holly Montag. She used to talk to me on the regular and then she ended up getting cast on The Hills and I guess she figured it was a better job than working in an office or some shit, that’s when she stopped talking to me, because I guess she’s busy living a scripted life or some shit and none of that really matters, what does matter is how unfortunate it must be for anyone to have to admit they are related to Heidi Montag, even if they know that she’s just fucking the media up the ass and cashing in, she’s still fucking Heidi Montag.

The fact that I know who these people are makes me want to end my life ….

Pics VIa FAME and PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Bikini|Holly Montag




Holly Montag Shows Her Panties on MTV Canada of the Day

Her name is Holly Montag and in case you were wondering she is the spin-off of her sister Heidi, that’s just how deep The Hills goes, it makes celebrities out of the family and friends of the lying pieces of shit who the show is based on, which means that not only does that shit ruin our lives, but also the lives of innocent people, who get caught up in the whole thing when they see how much money and how many perks their siblings are getting, that they need to jump on the fuckin’ bandwagon and get their fair share or some shit, and at least they are getting paid. I just hope for their sake they don’t think this is going to open any real doors for them, because the fame from this show is fleeting. There’s no room to show off any actual talent and I’m sure no producer would touch anyone who has tainted themselves with this shit, it’s like fucking the fat chick in your neighborhood, who’s pussy smells like gym socks and old cheddar one night when you’re drunk at a party, the same party the hot chick you’ve been working when you are of sound body and mind is at, the one who accidentally walks in on you in the kitchen pantry with your dick 2 inches (75% of the way) in this piece of shit girl that is only at the party because no one had the heart to tell her she wasn’t invited for fear of having her columbine their asses, and the same girl who looks at you disappointed around the same time they throw up in disgust and run off in tears because she was on the fence about getting with you, but just need a little more convincing, but instead of working on them proper by getting her too drunk to realize what the fuck she was doing, you go out and fuck the fat girl who smells that everyone teases.

I don’t know if that made sense, but being a fouth tier character on The Hills is career suicide, but at least Holly Montag’s got the right idea and shows her very white panties on Canadian cable channels, not that it’s that big of a deal, since only one person is watching the shit, but it’s a big deal to me, because the white panties my wife wears are only white for about a minute before the yellow mucus discharge faucet in her pants wins the wrestling match that is her putting them on.

Either way, I’m a simple man, and these pics are good enough for me and that’s why I am sharing them with you. Thanks girl on Facebook who I stole these from. I’m sure you’ll be emailing me to take them down in about a minute. Asshole.

Posted in:Holly Montag|Panties




Heidi Montag’s Sister’s Facebook Pictures of the Day

Image Removed due to Papparazzi

I don’t normally rip off people’s facebook profiles because I am lazy and figure it could lead to lifetime friendships with specific people that would be cut short if I burnt the bridge. I don’t have any interest is getting to know Holly Montag, her sister or anyone they know, so figured there’s no damage done.

This is Holly Montag, Heidi’s sister’s facebook profile and despite the pictures being pretty boring and standard, you can tell the kind of drunken college spring breaker this bitch is. She likes to have a good time and make out with her friends and be the life of the party but most importantly has the level of fame Heidi should have and that is that she is only known at her local bar and by her sorority sisters and the guys who fuck them.

So she is cut from the same cloth, born in the same barn, made from the same cum, grown in the same womb and raised by the same unstable mother as one of the most useless horse faced, attention craving whores on TV and this is hopefully a glimpse into Heidi’s future, because I’d rather she be wreckin’ shit back home in Colorado than annoying me daily in California.

Either way, I leave you some inspirational words of wisdom courtesy of Holly Montag and her drunken clubslut depth.

Favorite Quotes:

“Choice, not chance, determines one’s destiny.”

“So often time it happens, we all live our life in chains, and we never even know we have the key.”
-The Eagles, “Already Gone”

“I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I’ve written for myself, and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part.:
-Shirley MacLaine

“And our dreams are who we are.”
-Barbara Sher

“The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of childhood into maturity.”
-Thomas Henry Huxley

UPDATE – Holly Montag Emailed Me To Take Down the Pictures:

Email 1:

Hey Drunken Stepfather!

What you wrote was pretty hilarious, but would you mind taking my pictures down please? They are my private photos that only my friends are supposed to be able see, and I think you know better…

Thank you,

Holly Montag

Email 2 :

Hello Mr. Martinez–

Well I must say that I’m shocked to find it was one of my own facebook friends that would say such things about me and my fam! First of all, I went through my messages on facebook and did not see one from you…and i have yet to delete one, so I’m not sure what happened there. Second of all, do you have any idea how many people send me messages on a daily basis asking me questions about or bashing my sister? It would literally take my entire day to respond to everyone. I used to allow everyone as my friend and try to respond to each person, but I had to stop and remove a bunch of people a couple of months ago because it became too overwhelming AND you were one of the ONLY people I didn’t know and trust very well that I didn’t remove (I did yesterday though) because for some reason i remembered you being cool. I’m sorry to offend, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t quid pro quo with the extreme you took it to. However, because I thought it to be slightly clever I won’t take offense…as long as you acknowledge that you KNOW I’m not the person you made me out to be…in fact, maybe you should make a sight in my honor to rectify the damage that’s been done. haha no jk, but I hope we’re cool.

Thanks for taking my photos down!

Email 3:

that’s great, very entertaining. i dont care about the bullshit either but i get this kinda of crap all the time when it has nothing to do with me. i dont really give a shit, excpet those are my private pics and you still haven’t taken them down. you know that you do not have my permission to use them and have not licensed them (not sure if you’re familiar with these laws…). i’ve tried to be nice about it, but if you don’t have the pics down in 24 hrs (6/20,10:30am) you’ll be hearing from my attorneys (i have 3 on my staff, please just take them down). no hard feelings. thanks! holly montag

So I decided to do it because the last thing I need is a Montag ruining my fucking life.

Posted in:Heidi Montag|Holly Montag