Here’s yet another dumpy chick from the UK in her bikini, not because all chicks from the UK are Dumpy, but because she’s married to a soccer player and with this whole Euro shit going on, I can’t leave my house without running into some fucking immigrant carrying his team’s flag and it’s starting to annoy me.

What doesn’t really annoy me is the fact that soccer players land the trashiest girls out there, they are like the pussy you fuck when you are out of town on business and you leave the wife at home with the kids and feel like it’s time for new pussy and conveniently a drunk girl in a messed up party dress on the verge of passing out or throwing up falls up on you and mistakes you for her boyfriend who was actually just a random dude from the same bar the previous week who had his way with her, but she doesn’t know the difference, her timelines are all messed up and she’s been this drunken mess for the past 6 years so she ends up showing you the same good time she’s shown many men. But for some reason, one night while out, they win the fucking lottery and some rich soccer playing dude falls in love with them because she gives a better blowjob than his teammates and next thing you know, you’re honeymooning in Vegas, showing the world your fat ass that is only going to get fatter. It’s really one of life’s great mysteries.

Posted in:Bikini|Coleen McLoughlin|Honeymoon