Eva-Maria Wurzer may have a name that remind you of a German sausage….which is convenient since her pictures remind you of your pathetic sausage and how unfortunate its life is for not getting to experience this German sounding noblewoman..

I don’t know if she’s actual a German, I just know that at least you can jerk off to you…it’s a small consolation prize….but it’s better than not being able to jerk off to her.

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

Taylor Byrant is a model represented by a bunch of management companies and model agencies, which is normally a sign of her being a lower level model, but she’s still a model and that counts for something.

She’s also a Miami based model, so she’s not some weird ass high fashion model they are trying to make some kind of innovative look or high concept art piece out of, like they did with that cow-skinned model a few years ago, or have done with weird looking girls over the years….

Which means she looks like an actual chick….and in being a Miami based chick, she strips down to her bikini and looks good in that bikini…

so she’s pretty much the kind of model you should celebrate by jerking off to her…skinny with manageable tits an that old school model look because she looks like a girl, they’ve tried killing but that will never die, since we collectively like hot people. It’s in our wiring. They are better than us based on the gifts they received at birth and that’s ok or enough of a reason to worship their assholes…or feet…or whatever it is you’re into…

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

Her name is Lisane Witt. She’s a Brazilian model who like other Brazilians is pretty slutty efven when presenting her mainstream model content for a mainstream audience in hopes brands like VS go back to hiring hot Brazilians for their campaigns…

I read somewhere that Brazil has high instances of parasites, which is why the girls have what we collectively call the “Whore Gene” which appeals to men so that the parasites get spread through anuses….they also have a lot of trannies so it kinda adds up…

The mind controlling parasite is my favorite of the conspiracies….it makes me ask why we deworm animals but not humans….BECAUSE they need the worms in us to control us…

DUH.

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

Elisa Barranu is a hot model with tits, she’s currently in Italy.

People definitely recognize the importance of signed agency models…because this do-it-yourself bullshit is fine for ETSY,. but when it comes to hot pussy it takes out the whole competitive nature and infrastrucuture that we need.

We need an authoritative panel that decides who is hot and who isn’t, otherwise society goes mental when things go rogue, unsure of what is real or fake, up or down, left or right…it’s chaos.

The number one way to controlling a population, besides fear is through confusion….their truth becomes lies and lies become true…chaos.

So when I see an agency model, instead of a shameless self producer, even if the agency model is being as shameless as a self producer, the agency model is more important because she’s doing it for a greater cause and reason. She has people relying on her to win….while the self produced girl is just throwing things off, like if you had some amateur athlete jump into pro sports and being treated the same as the pro athlete…it’s mental….

So I find comfort in Barranu…

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

Laura Margesin is the kind of pussy you want to spread on bread…or your face…

Not quite as convenient as a butter alternative that you can buy in a jar because you live in a trailer park and like cancer….because you can’t buy her in a store, but if she’s a model, you can buy her for photoshoots by paying her a day rate through her agency and she’s not even an actual whore…

LOOP HOLES HOLES….

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

I guess the right thing to do when running commentary on a half naked chick from instagram is give you a brief bio, link to her account, maybe even get 5 questions with her that she actually answered or even that I answered on her behalf in a hysterical way because what’s she gonna do, sue me…ALRIGHT…

I could also do an analysis of each of her pics, with some running play-by-play comedy mocking everything about it, while jerking off because she’s a hot half naked chick.

Instead, I like to lazily make my commentary around her name…JESSICA FELTER…who I am sure you all wish you FELT HER…even if it was in passing on the bus, or at the grocery store, where you try not to let her feel your boner when you intentionally bump into her and pretend it’s an accident…you know how shoppping around hot chicks works…

But for some reason, a gay reason I am sure, I keep reading her name as FELTCHER…which is the act of sucking your cum out of an asshole and spitting it into your lover, typically the asshole you just sucked your cum out of’s mouth….

So hot half naked chick makes me think gay sex act because of her last name that isn’t even the same word as said gay sex act…..

Is it possible that the internet, water, parasites and hormones in the food turned me gay?

Stay tuned to find out…while I stare at this babe and treat her like GAY CONVERSION THERAPY…

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

Cassandra Dawn is an old time Playboy chick who had a sister who was also a Playboy chick, but it was in the era where Playboy was being run by Pornhub and the quality of the Playboy chicks weren’t the curated Playboy chicks you’d expect, but more a mass produced any one can join, bargain basement, WALMART DOLLAR TREE MARSHALLS approach to Playboy chicks because they needed 365 girls, a gallery a day for their subscribers…

That’s not to say that Cassandra Dawn wasn’t worthy of being passed around all the LA rich dudes that she was passed around by, it’s just to say that she’s an old timer, possibly pushing 50…but if we can learn anything from BAI LING….some ethics rot at a slower pace than whites.

So here are some of her pics…that could be a decade old or recent, I don’t know, she’s more a blast from the past than anything.

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

When her name is fat, or fat ma’….it’s less offensive than if she was an actually fat momma….so we celebrate her.

The hope is that she doesn’t grow into their namesake…like a man named Carpenter becoming a carpenter….because his whole life everyone who talks to him implants that into his mind….or a girl named Diane…dying….or a man named Angel becoming a fag…

You know how it works…so if you’re name is fat, end it there, to become it.

I know nothing about Fatima Cuellar, which is why I focused this post on her name, like a LINGUIST…when I should have described the various things you could do to her asshole after getting overly excited from staring at her salacious content on her social media feeds…

But instead, I went with fat.

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

Gintare Gureviciute is potentially a 40 year old Lithuanian TV host….because we deliver the hard hitting, up to date, breaking celebrity talents from an international level, while they are slowly rotting rather than when they are at their prime…

However, this could just be a girl with the same name..

Imagine this BLOG was informative and brought you the information you needed to jerk off from an educated perspective…

DO YOUR RESEARCH.

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe

Maja Krag is some 29 year old Danish Model…who may remind some of you how much you like the breakfast pastry and how long it has been since you’ve had one, but to me, she reminds me of tits.

She’s actually a semi-legitimate model who has done bikini and lingerie campaigns over the course of her career….

However, with the way social media has gone, it’s hard to determine who is the legitimate model and who is the shameless instagram model fighting for eyeballs in some self produced content..

I guess the best way to determine who the legitimate one is, would be the one driving the Lamborghini is the one who is not signed to an agency, but rather pays an agency to sext with her fans on whatever exclusive content site they are part of.

Point of the story, I like the underdog, which in this era is the signed model who has worked for real campaigns, because that stamp of approval process makes them more worthy of having their tits stared at, rather than the tits of some girl with an iphone showing her tits…

Ultimately, it comes down to the tits, and they’re all the same kind of whore, just on two planes in this timeline…

Now, get me a goddamn Danish….the service in this basement apartment is shit.

Image Credit – Instagram

Posted in:Instagram Babe