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Archive for the Jessica Alba Category

2024

14

May

Maria Menounos’ Ball Pussy of the Day

Maria Menounos is not dead, but the TV host turned Podcast Network owner worth tons of fucking money has had a bunch of cancers, which is never a good time….especially when it’s Pancreatic cancer, which I was always told is terminal, but I guess she was able to beat it because she’s rich.

The entertainment host men would jerk off to when their wives made them watch bullshit entertainment news shows has clearly gone YOLO since the cancer, because she’s decided to masturbate on the international INTERNET broadcasting platform….

They all turn perverted eventually, and this one is exceptionally perverted as she tries to insert a giant ball in her pussy….she’s a greek, so we know that she can get that in her ass with ease, but the pussy will be a challenge.

I know what you’re thinking, she is a recent mom, so the pussy should be about to suck up that ball she’s trying to reverse egg-lay, but the truth is…she used a surrogate…too much cancer to breed her old ass I guess….

Anyway, everyone’s just masturbating all the fucking time like a bunch of retards…and I enjoy it.


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Posted in:Jessica Alba

2024

23

Apr

Jessica Alba is Grinding on Wood of the Day

I’ve heard stories that Jessica Alba is one of those sex workers who can’t get enough dick, you know the kind who is basically mentally retarded and always grabbing at her vagina because it’s tingling and she needs it to cum, it’s a specific kind of woman wired in a specific way that makes them insatiable fuck addicts….

So the stories I’ve heard is that she is married and does have kids with the dude who basically helped turn her into a millionaire, but the trade off is that she gets to fuck whoever she wants, whenever she wants and they say that she does.

Sure she plays mom and consumer product CEO, but that’s all just for show, they have people who do all the work, while Alba just grinds against her office chair waiting to find a celebrity or athlete to fuck..

I could be making up all these stories, but seeing the now retired CEO grinding up on a tree, it’s just so obvious she’s out of control….

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2024

22

Mar

Jessica Alba’s Thong Dress of the Day

Jessica Alba still exists, obviously, she’s probably more obnoxious now than she was back when she was just some hot chick in movies that everyone went nuts over, because she’s a dot com billionaire.

She was one of the first celebrities to create a direct to consumer brand and make stupid money off her celebrity by selling her “HONEST” products, that were pretty much a fucking lie, but people didn’t care, they wanted to buy something Alba endorsed.

As someone who has watched these celebrities go from hot chick in movies trying to make it, to weathered old bitches who amassed extreme fame and wealth off the backs of us perverts….it always amazes me how much celebrity these people have and how effective celebrity is at making them money.

You’d think the average person wouldn’t give a fuck about buying Alba toilet paper, or whatever her Honest brand sells, but then you hear the sales numbers and you’re like “she sold a roll of toilet paper to 80 percent of the world population”….how does that even happen, she’s definitely not that hot.

Anyway, she’s in ELLE INDIA and she posted a video of the shoot. One of the dresses has a built in THONG looking effect to it, which I guess speaks to the WHALE TAILS of the 00s trend and the screenshot that they pulled from the video is on some DRAG QUEEN STORYTIME look…

Bitch is old…the Drag Queen looks happen but still ALBA…only richer and now validated as more than just the overhyped hot chick in movies…

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2024

11

Jan

Jessica Alba’s Doing Fitness of the Day

I realized that I am an old weathered fuck when I referred to a mom with a hot ass with her 20-something year old daughter with a hot ass as “girls”….meaning I didn’t consider the mom to be aged out or rotted out or near expired despite having had a kid and that really goes against everything I’ve ever known about myself.

If the ass is still hot at 50, I guess I’ll accept the abuse the body has gone through and treat it like it’s not dead….I guess in a way, I’m a necrophiliac like that….you know they are dead, but you don’t care.

Jessica Alba is holding onto the old lady being hot dream, she works her ass off at it, and documents it….with her tits out…making it more tolerable….

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2024

04

Jan

Jessica Alba Does Fitness on an Exercise Bike of the Day

Jessica Alba…

Billionaire dot com tycoon, who was one of the first unimpressive celebrities to hop onto the social media and internet hustle with some direct to consumer brands, something that I probably wouldn’t have expected to work as well as it did, probably part of the reason I’m not a dot com anything, but maybe a troll hiding in the fucking basement of the internet eating the table scraps left behind from the actual players, but really, Alba was boring, she’s a shitty actress, her fan base was a bunch of virgin nerd film people who thought she was the next messiah or that her tits were….

Well, she’s still producing content, probably to push sales to projects she has equity in, like with this WEDNESDAY fitness video of her on the spin bike, breaking a sweat, the face looking a little too much like Khloe Kardashian than you’d want Jessica Alba to look, but it’s the era of muppets so be happy the mom of 3-4 is vain enough to not have a massive gunt hanging over the cunt…

Fitness is hot…even when Jessica Alba is not so hot anymore…

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2023

13

Apr

Jessica Alba Bikini of the Day

Jessica Alba is hanging with some Xena Warrior Princess, or CHYNA from the WWE, RIP DICK CLIT, looking bitch on the rocks.

You have to wonder if this is a tactic to make her look skinny and fit as her friend’s front leg cellulite ….not that the friend is all that bad, she’s just a lot bigger in swimsuit bottoms than the sluttier, racier ALBA, who you know believes all the hype she’s had as the hot chick, her bank account proves it….

The first to Direct to Consumer celebrity brands besides all the old hags on QVC matters and so do her mom in a bikini pics….even though she’s old, probably run through a filter, I’m good with it.

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Posted in:Jessica Alba|Jessica Alba

2022

19

Sep

Jessica Alba Upskirt of the Day

Jessica Alba is bringing the goods that most dot com tech billionaires don’t bring, which is probably a good thing, because the idea of seeing some of those nerds in provocative poses is disturbing, but since Alba started out a slut, who didn’t get naked in the movies, but who was cast as the hot chick, since she was the hot chick, and the only reason she exists, or was able to make that dot com billions was off the back of her hotness, it seems like she’s finally coming back into herself, something that you would do, if your dick reached your asshole!

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Posted in:Jessica Alba|Jessica Alba

2022

20

Jul

Jessica Alba Bikini of the Day

Dot Com Direct to Consumer Billionaire who is in her mid-40s and a mom of a bunch of kids has really managed to take playing the overhyped hot girl in movies, who I guess couldn’t act, to the fucking bank at the right time in the internet, becoming the face of a brand called HONEST that you know wasn’t honest at all, but they pretended to be, and that’s all that really matters…..which inspired every other celeb to look to social media brands as the answer to make them even richer than they already are because they are either addicted to money and can never have enough of it….or it’s just so fucking easy to print money off the internet when you’re a celebrity with an audience….forcing brands to partner up with you where you call the shots because you hold the power because you drive the crazy level of sales because you’ve amassed a bunch of retards with credit cards who do what you say like lemming groupie puppets….

It’s basically the reason Bella Hadid exists as a top model….while being terrifying to look at…..

But for Alba, pretty impressive, only because otherwise she’d be running a MILF onlyfans, at least based on her acting career…and the stories I’ve heard about her being a massive slut who cheats on her husband like he’s a cuck…but those are just stories and stories aren’t always real…and either are instagram bikini pics thanks to the photoshop.

In hindsight, Alba was a lot of marketing hype, pretty average looking compared to what is out there now, but at the time she was massive and we only had access to what they told us was hot, so there’s a legacy in staring at her titties in bikini like they were those bent over bikini papaparazzi pics that went viral back in 2005….google em.


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Posted in:Jessica Alba

2022

28

Apr

Jessica Alba Refrigerating Her Old Vagina of the Day

When your bread starts getting funky, or really any food that you don’t want to have spoil, you throw it in the fridge… it’s basically the reason humans invented fridges….

Get an extra week out of the food…make it last just a little bit longer………

So Old Mom Box Alba is applying that same science, logic and technique to her pussy, by doing an ice bath to hopefully freeze and preserve the goods so that she can be hot, jerked off to, despite being a billionaire mom, for as long as she fucking can, because being hot is important these people, that’s why they’ve all jacked their faces up to muppet proportions, committed to fitness and diet, vanity is important and I don’t love it, but it’s better than the alternative….haggard.

What it comes down to is that she’s still Alba and that may be all some of you old timers need.

To See Some More Pics of her Old Ass in the Bikini CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Jessica Alba

2021

17

May

Jessica Alba Bikinis of the Day

I don’t know what step cells Jessica Alba is travelling to Mexico to ingest, or if she’s just got pregnant a few times in order to eat her fetus, you know the youth serum, I just know that after a bunch of kids and being in her 40s, should probably not look like this….

Sure, the tits could be fake, the face injected with fillers, the body just skinny and not actually toned, or maybe she’s at that part of menopause where they get the testosterone up to hold muscle mass before during into a biological dude hormonally….

She’s just made 100 million dollars with her HONEST brand, which as anyone has told me means it’s likely not very honest at all….like when people say “TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH”…or “TRUST ME”…they are implying there is reason to not trust you but the masses who are morons will just subscribe because they don’t look past the surface…

People were disappointed about her 100 million dollar payout, they all thought she was a billionaire, and not making that billion seems unfortunate, but she likely still owns 20 percent of the company, that is now probably evaluated at multiple billions of dollars, the 100,000,000 was just for what they gave up when they went public, assuming I know anything about investing which I don’t….

PLUS, she’s likely had a fat salary since day one, now a fatter salary and she can probably charge the company for any social posts….

I assume she’ll likely get back into Hollywood, making movies, not that she was ever good at it, but she was always hot at it…unfortunatley never naked hot, but still hot…and seeing her repose in Miami because her life is likely a struggle full stress…all that money is always stressful…even when you have staff do everythinf for you so you can focus on looking good as a 40 something mom of 3-4…depending if you count the one they use for stem cells.

To SEE the Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jessica Alba