A video posted by Jessica Alba (@jessicaalba) on Jan 27, 2015 at 11:59am PST

Here’s Jessica Alba working out on instagram – because people are….about Jessica Alba working out on Instagram, even if Jessica Alba is a washed up celebrity, she’s still a budding billionaire spokesperson for some brand, and more imporatntly, she’s still got a ridiculous body…even if she’s a mom of two…because when you work hard on your billion dollar brand all day, by not actually doing anything other than being Jessica Alba…there’s always time for squats….so much time for squats…in fact that’s all their is to do when the whole business is being run by actual business people using her celebrity as nothing more than a marketing hook…

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Jessica Alba is a hot bodied mom, who you may remember as being an it girl everyone wanted to have sex with, despite being Mexican, before settling down and becoming a billionaire with a brand of organic baby products…and I guess whoring herself out to endorse products for money is pretty much her thing…and these bikini pics of her from her instagram, the thigh gap one has since been removed, because I guess she is not relatable to all the fat moms pushing 40 who love her, and give her money, but that thanks to the internet will live on forever…

I mean this body…is crazy…

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In the event that you are living in the past, and you probably are, because you have nothing going on in the present, and no prospects for the future, and the only thing that was good was the glimmer of hope your life wouldn’t be like this 10 years ago, which at the time wasn’t the glory days, but in these times is…

Then you’ll appreciate your crush, Jessica Alba, who has gone on to make hundreds of millions of dollars, with this ass, thanks to shitting out a couple of babies, destroying her vagina, a small price to pay for the benjamins….in a bikini…posing with Cocktail shrimp.

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Jessica Alba’s mom ass in a bikini…..but it’s not just any mom ass…it is a mom ass that was an it-girl in a handful of shitty movies…who with the help of her business man husband..was able to convert that fleeting fame that only existed because she was a hot Mexican and Mexican’s cleaning toilets around America…and Mexicans sneaking across the border…turned to her as their beacon of hope..coupled with dudes being fucking perverts…who thought she was hot as fuck…into a billion dollars.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

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Jessica Alba has what I call a mock marriage, even though two kids came out of it, and at one point she was all about her dude, to the level in which she trapped him with her uterus, something that worked out for him, at least business-wise, because he’s managed to help her brand herself, and even set up this massive empire she has called HONEST, which as you know, when someone goes out of their way to tell you it is Honest, it is usually a fucking lie…but in this case, it is a lie that will make her a billion dollars, which is a lie that created the American dream, and is a lie that she works on daily, when not in bikinis in other countries, on vacation from all the stress of being a figure head to a lie….not that I care…I think Jessica Alba is boring, but the rest of the world doesn’t, and I get it, I mean she’s still got a rockin’ body, which is more than I can say for most Mexicans…

Here she is working out….

A video posted by Jessica Alba (@jessicaalba) on Nov 11, 2014 at 11:53pm PST

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A video posted by Jessica Alba (@jessicaalba) on Nov 11, 2014 at 7:44am PST

This is what mom Jessica Alba looks like when she’s working out for instagram, something girls like to do on instagram, when they are not posting pics of silly photoshoots they’ve set up strictly for their instagram, because instagram modeling is real…especially when you have the billion dollar HONEST brand to promote, because it is going to make you over 400,000,000 dollars when you’re done with it – in the next few months…making her already hot, especially for a mom of 2 body, even hotter if you think you have any possible way of breaking up her already broken marriage, that she’ll never let die because it’s a very integral part of her marketing campaign behind her billion dollar company, it’s probably part of the contract the investors lined up for her when she signed onto this cash grab, and for 400,000,000 dollars, you’d probably lie to the world too..I mean hell, I lie to everyone for free….

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Jessica Alba’s got some weirdo fucking cleavage going on…not that it matters to any Jessica Alba fans, those fuckers spent too many years obsessing over her pre-pregnancy, that they accepted her post pregnancy, and that they’d do anything to do with her as she pushes 40, because they look in the mirror, at their lives, and realize she’s a hell of a lot better, even now that she’s old and fat, and worth a billion dollars, than what they have going on….you know committed to a girl they’ve never met and who would never give them the time of day, because I guess she’s too busy wearing stupid dresses that make her tits look shitty…at some baby event…because she’s into that kind of scamming….good times.

To See The Rest of the Pics CLICK HERE

To See Pics of Kate Upton at the Same Shitty Event CLICK HERE

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If you have a Jessica Alba fetish…and you used to Listen to Guns and Roses religiously, not only are you old as fuck, probably pushing 40, since Alba hasn’t really mattered in a decade, even if she’s still pretty fucking hot…and Guns and Roses, unless for Karaoke or Kitsch factor, you know hipsters being obscure, don’t fucking matter no matter how much die hard Guns and Roses fans, you know the kind of guys with tattoos of roses in various parts of their body….but you’re also in luck because the two came together in her Slash costume…that I find level zero in erotic…but she’s a mom, with a billion dollar mom brand and I guess wearing a thong in public would be bad for business…

TO SEE A BUNCH OF CELEBS DOING HALLOWEEN CLICK HERE

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I think the highlight of this video is when the white girl wasted, who sounds like a whining valley girl says “She’s So Cute I Love Her, Like OHMIGAWWWWWD, I Can’t Even, I mean I literally Can’t”…where they go on to discuss who she is married to, Cash Warren, a behind the scenes guy no one should be aware exists because it’s useless information unless you are doing business with Alba/using her name to make everyone stupid money…reminding me that young people have no idea what’s up or what’s important.

That said…if baseball pitches are your fetish…love this.

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