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Archive for the Jim Carey Category

2008

07

Jul

Jim Carey Makes a Joke With Jenny McCarthy’s Bathing Suit of the Day

Jenny McCarthy and her long lost Canadian relative, who I assume she doesn’t know is her relative and decided that the connection she felt the first time she met him was love at first sight, when in reality it was just on some genetic level. It’s like when you met a cousin from another country for the first time and you just hit it off immediately because you have the same grandparents, only in this case you give them your genitals, instead of a gift certificate to Starbucks for Christmas. Leaving the rest of the world looking in amazement and wondering if you’re related or if it is just a coincidence that you look like you’re twins while making out with each other in public. I guess we’ll all just have to wait for the flipper baby to know the truth and I am not talking about that Autistic shit McCarthy is up on already, that baby’s from a previous marriage.

I never found Jim Carey funny, I actually kinda hated him up until recently. He’s just this clown of a person who tries too hard to get a laugh and looks like an asshole while doing it. He reminds me of some cocksucker in my class who would never shut the fuck up in his antics and annoyed everyone until he got beat up enough that his spirits and jokes just stopped, leaving him down and out and reclusive in a dark corner, going from the annoying life of the classroom to the weird kid in the corner no one notcies, that is until one day he decides to take out his rage on the world and stages a school shooting.

But I have to admit, this stunt where he decided to put on Jenny McCarthy’s bathing suit to fuck with the paparazzi/public and get a laugh was pretty clever and reminds me a lot of this closet case who would always suggest we do the gayest things because it would be funny and for the sake of comedy. When he’d run around in ladies clothing, make-up and show a serious interest in Brad Pitt, we could pass shit off as a joke, but it got out of hand when he told me that we would really mess with our girlfriends at the time if they walked in on us sucking each other off. I didn’t really get the joke but he came back at me aggressively, because he thought I was ruining his joke and said that it would only really be funny if we timed it perfectly and the second they walked into the room expecting us to be playing videogames, I’d be cumming all over his face instead. It’d be a real fuckin’ knee slapper.

Sure, I was complimented that he thought I was worthy to take part in his joke, but I didn’t see much funny about letting him suck me off, it was just a little gay….

Either way, Jenny McCarthy’s body looks tight.

Posted in:Bikini|funny|Jenny McCarthy|Jim Carey

2007

05

Jul

I am – Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carey on the Beach of the Day

jenny_mccarthy_bikinitop.jpg

Here are some pictures of Hollywood “POWER” Couple, Jim Carey and Jenny McCarthy on the beach holding hands and they freak me the fuck out. These two look like they are brother and sister and I don’t normally have any skills at spotting similarities in people. I am also not very good at remembering names, secret handshakes or anything I do after about 1 drink because I am convinced my liver gave out on me a few years ago and shit goes straight to my head like I was an anorexic 15 year old girl at my first club.

Either way, incest freaks me out so much that I even had a dream, some may call it a fantasy about it the other day. In the dream, I walked in on a brother and sister having sex. I was into watching them fuck at first because I am a voyeur but when I realized that they were two people I knew who were related I freaked the fuck out. When I confronted them they said that their parents were brother and sister and that their grandparents were brother and sister and they were just doing what they knew. It was a weird fucking dream that I have no idea where it came from but it made me stop asking people I know if they would bang their sister. I know talking about dreams is as gay as it gets but when incest is involved I just can’t keep it to myself.

When I was younger I met this dude who used to brag to us about how he took his sister’s cherry. He was kind of an idiot farmer and thought we’d think he was cool but shit was just too twisted for me to grasp. He would tell us that he would sneak into her room at night and have his way with her and she was totally into it. He would brag about how accessible it was and how we were all a bunch of virgin idiots who didn’t know that the prize was so close to home. I never knew what happened to that dude, because he ended up getting caught and sent away so don’t let Jim Carey and Jenny McCarthy trick you into thinking this shit’s ok just because they are famous, how big her tits are or no matter how much you think that you’re the hottest thing out there and the only thing good enough for you is a bitch who looks like you….and remember no matter how long your hair is and no matter how many punk rock t-shirts you wear, you’re never hardcore when wearing schpants….

Posted in:Bikini|Implants|Incest|Jenny McCarthy|Jim Carey|Tits|Unsorted