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Archive for the Masturbates Category




Brittany Snow Masturbates in Some Movie of the Day

I guess things have dried up for Brittany Snow since her life changing role in John Tucker Mst Die…cuz bitch has taken up masturbating in this movie is called The Vicious Kind, something you know real bottom feeders who got all excited after they were popular for a minute and bought all these things they can’t afford today…so now they’re simulating cumming on camera and I’m not complaining…not that I find this hot…I just don’t really care either way….

Bonus – Here she is getting raped….I think….I’m not really sure what’s going on here but I think he fake cums inside her and I’m always good with fake cumming inside desperat chicks cuz I don’t like unwanted pregancy….

Either way, this is a shitty fucking sex scenes in shitty fucking movies I’ve never heard of…

Posted in:Brittany Snow|Masturbates




91 Year Old Ernest Borgnine’s Secret to Staying Young…of the Day

I don’t know who Ernest Borgnine is, but I do know that he is 91 and when asked his secret to staying young, he said he masturbates alot and I automatically thought about you because you masturbate a lot.

Now you now have Ernest Borgnine’s support to justify what you currently do all the time, and that your feel shame in chronically doing because your dead relatives are watching you and because you find yourself having a hard time integrating into real life and getting things done, like a job, girlfriend, social life all because it’s all you want to do, all the time.

I figured it was some good words of wisdom to start your day, because I know that I am feeling old, I am tired all the time, I can’t keep up with the young girls I hang out with and I feel aches and pains in places I didn’t know exist. I may not be 91 in age, but I am probably 91 in health and I would write more but I am going to do what Ernest Borgnine says I should do, I’ll be back in 4 hours, wearing some pantyhose, bleeding and crying, all while thinking of Ernest but feeling like I was 15 again, except for the erection and ability to cum part.

The truth is that the idea of a 91 year old jerking off is fucking offensive, not that the idea of a normal young dude jerking off isn’t, but at least they aren’t doing it to pictures of their dead wive’s in their bathing suit for a family vacation back in the ’40s, just the idea of this dude cumming all over his belly, is like some kind of science experiment gone wrong, leading me to believe that all of your fathers and grandfathers probably jerk off too, and that should change the way you look at them from now on….hopefully not in a good way….pervert.

Posted in:Ernest Borgnine|Masturbates|Uncategorized