I was eating a sandwich the other day and overheard the staff of the sandwich place talking about how Michael Phelps was there over the weekend with some local chick he’s dating. I started casually asking some people I know about it, not because I care, but because I wanted to know who would see past that dude’s mangled face for the American hero with fish-like stamina he is, because I had a feeling pretty much any girl would see past his mangled face to get with America’s boy wonder.

Some dude I know, claims he knows the girl, he told me they met in Florida but didn’t know if they were serious or not, he didn’t even know if they were fucking or not, but as far as I’m concerned, if you’re flying into Montreal during the winter for a girl, when you have the option of pretty much every girl out there, shit’s probably pretty serious or at least pretty fuckin’ good.

Here are some pictures that may be of her, that are ripped off her Facebook. I don’t even know her name, so they really could be anyone, or at least someone who worked her way into hanging with T.I., Young Jeezy, and Phelps. Probably making it the best vacation ever!

Let’s just hope she doesn’t get soft and trust him too much. You know, believe the lies he tells her about being the one and their future life of luxury, you know blinding her from getting some some artistic nudes of him that she can use for blackmail down the road after he cheats on her, because you never let a hope and fantasy of what you wish will happen, make you turn your back on opportunity that presents itself today. At least that’s why my grandmother always told me along with other life lessons like “never suck dick for free” and “condoms are for pussies” and most importantly…I never had a grandmother, but you get what I’m saying. Right?

Posted in:Girlfriend|Michael Phelps