Cockburn wants you to know that you can’t get pregnant by spit, which is technically not entirely true, because after Harry Styles holds a huge load in his mouth, before spitting it into her gaping cunt, like one of those cherub fountains you see at rich Italian people’s homes, only to have a steady stream of said spit land on the cervix excited to journey through the cavernous nightmare that is Cockburn’s womb, you know like a scary Disney ride by the vagina version….she could theoretically get pregnant….but her old age won’t let her…

So yeah, she’s not entirely accurate in her weirdly unfunny sleazy “I have sex and like my pussy eaten” shirt, because celebrities are lame…..but she finds it funny, so when whores are softly advertising they like being whores, or like sex, because everyone likes sex, even rape victims, meaning it’s not that impressive….I’ll post it…because I am not that impressive either….far less impressive than Cockburn the big time director….probably because I lack the mysterious pussy machine she uses to get where she’s got..

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Posted in:Olivia Cockburn|Olivia Wilde

I remember Olivia Cockburn from The O.C., which I have watched on one of the steamers in the last year and thought it was a masterpiece….I used to watch it when it came out because from my shitty memory, it came on Thursday night and despite being about 35 years old at the time (so was Cockburn), I’d spend my Thursday nights drinking at some college Lady’s night that had really cheap drinks and a bunch of college girls, which I guess would be seen as creepy if you’re boring or bitterly married at 35 and not into trying to fuck college girls, but yeah, watching the OC as my pre-game drinking was my way of fitting into the crowd unsuspected….it was my “hello fellow college kids” hustle that never got me laid…..

Anyway, Olivia Cockburn was the least interesting thing on that show and she’s consistently been boring, over hyped, short legged and missing the mark on hot….

From marrying and breeding with that terrible Sudeikis dude who you’d need to be a total psychopath to hang out with for more than 5 minutes, to homewrecking to fuck a gay dude in One Direction, only to be dumped and now forced to go out with her tits out, in a “LOOK I HAVE NIPPLES”….when not making TRASH movies since she’s a big director now….what I am saying is she sucks, she’s garbage, she’s annoying, but the more she brings out her old lady tits, I’ll keep looking, because clearly she’s an industry pro and knows tits get hits….so as long as the tits are out, she will distract people from hating her or realizing she’s garbage.

TITTIES!

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Posted in:Olivia Cockburn|Olivia Wilde