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Archive for the Plastic Surgery Category

2008

15

Jul

Lisa Rinna’s Got Some Hot Fake Everything of the Day

Lisa Rinna likes plastic surgery more than most people and she still looks like a fucking monster to me, but seeing her tits busting out of her low cut top is enough to make me stare. Not necessarily the same kind of staring I do on the daily when girls in their summer dresses walk by me, or the kind of staring I got caught doing at some college after party I managed to crash a few months ago, that lead me to hiding in the bathroom closet watching girls roll through to pee, use coke, get busy with radoms and whatever else went on before I passed out and was found by some frat boy who tried playing the hero by getting rough with me before I sold him on the idea of putting a video camera where I was hiding because it would be good content, but more the kind of staring that happens everytime I see a retarded person limping around confused at the busy grocery story trying to use 4 year old coupons while buying their 3 bottles of coke with one hand down their shit stained inside-out pants, which has happened more than once.

Lisa Rinna is not necessarily a good thing, but is kinda entertaining when no one’s around to judge you or your freaky fetishes, like the week I spent practicing infantilism in the privacy of my own home. I was just trying to relive a childhood I never had, but quickly changed my tune when I realized there was no one there to change my diaper and I was starting to get a rash, making the whole thing pretty humilating.

Posted in:Lisa Rinna|Nipples|Plastic Surgery|Tits

2008

30

Jun

Lisa RInna Brings Out Her Bikini of the Day

The thing I like about Lisa Rinna is that she looks like she was in some kind of nuclear waste accident that made her look like some kind of mutant you’d jerk off to in one of your favorite comics, but the only accident that happened in her life is that she made enough money to pay a dude to mangle the fuck out of her face and body because she thought it made her look pretty.

It turns out that when she parades that catcher mitt face of hers around in a bikini, some of you fall into the trap and think it’s hot, while I just see an unnatural mess of a woman, but I guess if she puts that much attention into her appearance, she probably is good in bed, or at least has a pretty hot designer pussy, hopefully not one that she design, because based on her track record, what she thinks looks good actually looks scary.

Posted in:Bikini|Lisa Rinna|Plastic Surgery

2008

09

Jun

Shauna Sand’s Got Some Weird Nipples and Grey Vagina of the Day

I know strippers who have had many back alley implants done because they were affordable and because the girls were more interested in having big fake tits than not getting hepatitis, HIV, or infections from the dirty unsterilized room and over the years, there were only a few accidents, like nipples started to take on a new shape, silicone would leak and turn tits black and one girl even claimed her nipple fell off when she took a shower, which I don’t believe because she smelled like she never showered. But even when that shit was re-applied, it still looked better than whatever the fuck is going on with Shauna Sand’s tit.

I know, like the strippers I knew, her tits were the foundation of her useless career of getting naked as some Playboy Trash, because despite Playboy’s marketing ploy that their girls are classy, they are usually just big blonde gutter sluts livin’ on a trashy dream but it’s pretty clear that her career was one that didn’t pay too much because her tits look a lot like the bad haircut I once got at a Hair Dressing School because I had to clean up for a job interview, but walked away with a patchy mess that made the people hiring me think I was dying of cancer, a fate less painful than whatever Shauna Sand’s pussy died of.


Shauna Sand Sex Tape Clips Exclusive

Posted in:Nipples|Plastic Surgery|Shauna Sand

2007

20

Nov

I am – Ashley Tisdale’s New Nose of the Day

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I can only assume Ashley Tisdale’s mother is some hot slut who used her vagina to get her daughter into show business, because let’s face it, with that fuckin nose bitch was rockin’, her only real career prospects were to work at the cosmetics counter of her local department store, because people would trust her ability to help them choose a perfume, because let’s face it, bitch was made for smelling things.

But lucky for us, she’s pulled an Ashlee Simpson and got a new fuckin’ nose. I’ve seen her shitty Christina Aguilera rip off video where she sings badly about what he says and what she says and I just stare at her fuckin’ nose knowing that whatever he was saying, he was saying it to get the fuck away from that fuckin’ thing, because it was scary on some halloween level.

Social pressure of needing to be hot and in the spotlight takes it’s toll on a young insecure girl who’s trying to make her career pop and it has made her cave in and got a new nose because it was disgusting and needed to be done and all part of growing up in a superficial world and wanting everyone to think you’ve got it going on. I know that when she’s asked about it, she’ll say it’s gotta do with some deviated septum shit, unable to breathe bullshit, because unlike a stripper who admits she got tits to make money and feel hot.

Either way, I love insecure girls because they get naked for me without much convincing, they just like the pat on the back or cum shot stamp of approval because it makes them feel wanted and for a person who hates themselves, feeling wanted is important. Now the real question is why did she stop at her nose, if she really wanted to make her career last she’s also going to need a new face, new teeth, some tits, talent and a sex tape. I don’t respect this half-assed effort she’s putting in, makes me feel like she’s not serious and treats her career like the joke that the rest of us already know it is. Cuddles.


Related Posts:

Some Ashley Tisdale in a Bikini
More Ashley Tisdale in a Bikini
Even More Ashley Tisdale in a Bikini
Damn This Girl Likes Bikinis…

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Nose|Plastic Surgery|Unsorted

2007

10

Oct

I am – Jane Seymour Dancing With the Stars Rehearsal Pics of the Day

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I have a confession to make. I went to a friends house and his daughter’s were watching dancing with the stars yesterday and I was in the other room, because he doesn’t like me getting to close to them, because they are 18 and I am a bad influence, but I couldn’t help but overhear the shit that was going down. Basically, Jane Seymour’s mother had a stroke earlier in the year and her favorite show was Dancing With the Stars, the UK version. When Jane Seymour decided she was going to do it, she told her dying mother who hadn’t spoke in months and her mother spoke for the first time since her stroke saying “YES”. So that inspired Jane Seymour to do the show and since the stroke her mother ended up passing away and she decided to kick serious ass on her show, because she knows her mother is watching her and last night’s tango was so meaningful to Jane Seymore because it was the one dance she was going to dedicate to her mom.

Now I am all for sob stories, I think it makes for good entertainment, but the only question I had was did the Dancing with the Stars producers pay for this bullshit story for the tear-jerking drama it caused or did Jane Seymore off her mom, she is Dr Quinn Medicine Woman after all, so that she could win points with the judges. The whole thing was pretty fucking suspect and all the judges were nice to her after her dance, because none of them wanted to look like heartless bastards.

I remember when I used to use my mom’s death to get me passing marks in English class because I was a Mexican immigrant I couldn’t really write much more than “MY MOM DIED BE NICE”.

Point of all this is to say this Jane Seymour bitch looks like a fucking clown in this outfit, she is 56 years old and looks like she’s made of plastic, but not the good kind of plastic, more like the pastic wrap I used to take off of cheese slices to tape to my dick as a makeshift condom…I’m crafty like that.


Related Posts:

Mel B’s Ass Leaving Dancing With the Stars Rehearsals
Mel B’s Tits for Dancing With the Stars
Stacy Keibler Thinks She’s Avril Lavigne
Stacy Keibler Plays Volleyball in Shorts Pictures

Posted in:cleavage|Dancing With the Stars|Jane Seymour|Plastic Surgery|Unsorted

2007

11

Sep

I am – Lisa Rinna Grabbing Her Tits of the Day

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I was never really into this bitch because she’s pretty unknown and I was too busy getting drunk and getting in trouble during the Melrose Place years. I did know a group of crackheads who were hooked on the shit but I did what I could to stay away because getting caught up in a TV show is almost as depressing as never having a career after a TV show. Either way, bitch knows what she’s good for and distracts us from her busted chpped up plastic surgery ridden face by playing with her tits like they are nintendo.

I just spent the last 20 minutes watching some hot chick in tight pants trying to change a light bulb in a women’s clothing store. She was standing on a ladder that didn’t reach so her attempt involved a lot of stretching, bending, squeezing and climbing up and down a step-ladder. She didn’t notice me watching for the first 10 minutes but as a crowd formed around me and we all watched her like she was a shitty adult soap opera she realized and wasn’t too happy. Some asshole tried to be the hero and went in to help her probably in hopes of getting her number while ruining it for the rest of us, but it was probably one of the hottest things I’ve seen all day and inspired me to get back to the gym to watch girls taking yoga classes because it is better than porn.

Here are Lisa Rinna Grabbing her fake tits pics while making sex faces, not sex faces I’ve ever seen, when I used to fuck girls would either be sleeping, or clenching their eyes waiting for the traumatic experience to end…not because I raped them, but because they couldn’t really stomach me.


Related Posts:

Lisa Rinna in a Swimsuit Pictures
Lisa Rinna is a Hard Nippled Clown Pictures
Lisa Rinna Tit Pimple Pictures

Posted in:cleavage|Lisa Rinna|Plastic Surgery|Tit Grab|Tits|Unsorted

2007

17

May

I am – Kylie Minogue’s Breast Implants of the Day

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Everyone used to bust Lohan and Britney’s balls for having fake tits, but no one ever seems to bug Kylie Minogue about it. Maybe I am wrong and insensitive, but last time I checked, having breast cancer lead to free implants. It’s like just because cancer is attached to something it makes it okay and I think that kind of thinking is what’s wrong with the world.

Lohan and Britney are reported drug addicts. Everyone bugs them for doing blow or prescription pills or getting drunk every night like it’s a big fucking deal, meanwhile, every fucking 14 year old in private school is ripping lines of coke like kids used to smoke cigarettes in my time. When I was “hanging out” with drug dealers, most of their clients were doctors and lawyers and professionals because cocaine is expensive and these are the people who make society work. Doctors perform surgery on us and diagnose us for the cancers that lead to free implants and no one fucking complains about it, but the second a useless skank gets caught doing it, its a big fucking deal and on the fucking news.

This post is probably bad for business, so before it gets out of hand, I firmly believe cancer sucks, I don’t think anyone who has it or has lost anyone from it is something worth laughing at, I don’t think that losing your breasts and having mangled substitutes for breasts after suffering is funny….I also don’t even know if Kylie has implants, I was just writing as if she does because she looks so lovely in this little summer dress….That was the best kind of damage control I could do.

Posted in:Kylie Minogue|Plastic Surgery|Tits|Unsorted