Plastic Surgery Archives - Page 2 of 2 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2007

20

Nov

I am – Ashley Tisdale’s New Nose of the Day

I can only assume Ashley Tisdale’s mother is some hot slut who used her vagina to get her daughter into show business, because let’s face it, with that fuckin nose bitch was rockin’, her only real career prospects were to work at the cosmetics counter of her local department store, because people would trust her ability to help them choose a perfume, because let’s face it, bitch was made for smelling things.

But lucky for us, she’s pulled an Ashlee Simpson and got a new fuckin’ nose. I’ve seen her shitty Christina Aguilera rip off video where she sings badly about what he says and what she says and I just stare at her fuckin’ nose knowing that whatever he was saying, he was saying it to get the fuck away from that fuckin’ thing, because it was scary on some halloween level.

Social pressure of needing to be hot and in the spotlight takes it’s toll on a young insecure girl who’s trying to make her career pop and it has made her cave in and got a new nose because it was disgusting and needed to be done and all part of growing up in a superficial world and wanting everyone to think you’ve got it going on. I know that when she’s asked about it, she’ll say it’s gotta do with some deviated septum shit, unable to breathe bullshit, because unlike a stripper who admits she got tits to make money and feel hot.

Either way, I love insecure girls because they get naked for me without much convincing, they just like the pat on the back or cum shot stamp of approval because it makes them feel wanted and for a person who hates themselves, feeling wanted is important. Now the real question is why did she stop at her nose, if she really wanted to make her career last she’s also going to need a new face, new teeth, some tits, talent and a sex tape. I don’t respect this half-assed effort she’s putting in, makes me feel like she’s not serious and treats her career like the joke that the rest of us already know it is. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Some Ashley Tisdale in a Bikini
More Ashley Tisdale in a Bikini
Even More Ashley Tisdale in a Bikini
Damn This Girl Likes Bikinis…

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Nose|Plastic Surgery|Unsorted

2007

10

Oct

I am – Jane Seymour Dancing With the Stars Rehearsal Pics of the Day

2 Comments »

I have a confession to make. I went to a friends house and his daughter’s were watching dancing with the stars yesterday and I was in the other room, because he doesn’t like me getting to close to them, because they are 18 and I am a bad influence, but I couldn’t help but overhear the shit that was going down. Basically, Jane Seymour’s mother had a stroke earlier in the year and her favorite show was Dancing With the Stars, the UK version. When Jane Seymour decided she was going to do it, she told her dying mother who hadn’t spoke in months and her mother spoke for the first time since her stroke saying “YES”. So that inspired Jane Seymour to do the show and since the stroke her mother ended up passing away and she decided to kick serious ass on her show, because she knows her mother is watching her and last night’s tango was so meaningful to Jane Seymore because it was the one dance she was going to dedicate to her mom.

Now I am all for sob stories, I think it makes for good entertainment, but the only question I had was did the Dancing with the Stars producers pay for this bullshit story for the tear-jerking drama it caused or did Jane Seymore off her mom, she is Dr Quinn Medicine Woman after all, so that she could win points with the judges. The whole thing was pretty fucking suspect and all the judges were nice to her after her dance, because none of them wanted to look like heartless bastards.

I remember when I used to use my mom’s death to get me passing marks in English class because I was a Mexican immigrant I couldn’t really write much more than “MY MOM DIED BE NICE”.

Point of all this is to say this Jane Seymour bitch looks like a fucking clown in this outfit, she is 56 years old and looks like she’s made of plastic, but not the good kind of plastic, more like the pastic wrap I used to take off of cheese slices to tape to my dick as a makeshift condom…I’m crafty like that.

Related Posts:

Mel B’s Ass Leaving Dancing With the Stars Rehearsals
Mel B’s Tits for Dancing With the Stars
Stacy Keibler Thinks She’s Avril Lavigne
Stacy Keibler Plays Volleyball in Shorts Pictures

Posted in:cleavage|Dancing With the Stars|Jane Seymour|Plastic Surgery|Unsorted

2007

11

Sep

I am – Lisa Rinna Grabbing Her Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

I was never really into this bitch because she’s pretty unknown and I was too busy getting drunk and getting in trouble during the Melrose Place years. I did know a group of crackheads who were hooked on the shit but I did what I could to stay away because getting caught up in a TV show is almost as depressing as never having a career after a TV show. Either way, bitch knows what she’s good for and distracts us from her busted chpped up plastic surgery ridden face by playing with her tits like they are nintendo.

I just spent the last 20 minutes watching some hot chick in tight pants trying to change a light bulb in a women’s clothing store. She was standing on a ladder that didn’t reach so her attempt involved a lot of stretching, bending, squeezing and climbing up and down a step-ladder. She didn’t notice me watching for the first 10 minutes but as a crowd formed around me and we all watched her like she was a shitty adult soap opera she realized and wasn’t too happy. Some asshole tried to be the hero and went in to help her probably in hopes of getting her number while ruining it for the rest of us, but it was probably one of the hottest things I’ve seen all day and inspired me to get back to the gym to watch girls taking yoga classes because it is better than porn.

Here are Lisa Rinna Grabbing her fake tits pics while making sex faces, not sex faces I’ve ever seen, when I used to fuck girls would either be sleeping, or clenching their eyes waiting for the traumatic experience to end…not because I raped them, but because they couldn’t really stomach me.

Related Posts:

Lisa Rinna in a Swimsuit Pictures
Lisa Rinna is a Hard Nippled Clown Pictures
Lisa Rinna Tit Pimple Pictures

2007

17

May

I am – Kylie Minogue's Breast Implants of the Day

2 Comments »

Everyone used to bust Lohan and Britney’s balls for having fake tits, but no one ever seems to bug Kylie Minogue about it. Maybe I am wrong and insensitive, but last time I checked, having breast cancer lead to free implants. It’s like just because cancer is attached to something it makes it okay and I think that kind of thinking is what’s wrong with the world.

Lohan and Britney are reported drug addicts. Everyone bugs them for doing blow or prescription pills or getting drunk every night like it’s a big fucking deal, meanwhile, every fucking 14 year old in private school is ripping lines of coke like kids used to smoke cigarettes in my time. When I was “hanging out” with drug dealers, most of their clients were doctors and lawyers and professionals because cocaine is expensive and these are the people who make society work. Doctors perform surgery on us and diagnose us for the cancers that lead to free implants and no one fucking complains about it, but the second a useless skank gets caught doing it, its a big fucking deal and on the fucking news.

This post is probably bad for business, so before it gets out of hand, I firmly believe cancer sucks, I don’t think anyone who has it or has lost anyone from it is something worth laughing at, I don’t think that losing your breasts and having mangled substitutes for breasts after suffering is funny….I also don’t even know if Kylie has implants, I was just writing as if she does because she looks so lovely in this little summer dress….That was the best kind of damage control I could do.

Posted in:Kylie Minogue|Plastic Surgery|Tits|Unsorted

2007

17

May

I am – Kylie Minogue’s Breast Implants of the Day

2 Comments »

Everyone used to bust Lohan and Britney’s balls for having fake tits, but no one ever seems to bug Kylie Minogue about it. Maybe I am wrong and insensitive, but last time I checked, having breast cancer lead to free implants. It’s like just because cancer is attached to something it makes it okay and I think that kind of thinking is what’s wrong with the world.

Lohan and Britney are reported drug addicts. Everyone bugs them for doing blow or prescription pills or getting drunk every night like it’s a big fucking deal, meanwhile, every fucking 14 year old in private school is ripping lines of coke like kids used to smoke cigarettes in my time. When I was “hanging out” with drug dealers, most of their clients were doctors and lawyers and professionals because cocaine is expensive and these are the people who make society work. Doctors perform surgery on us and diagnose us for the cancers that lead to free implants and no one fucking complains about it, but the second a useless skank gets caught doing it, its a big fucking deal and on the fucking news.

This post is probably bad for business, so before it gets out of hand, I firmly believe cancer sucks, I don’t think anyone who has it or has lost anyone from it is something worth laughing at, I don’t think that losing your breasts and having mangled substitutes for breasts after suffering is funny….I also don’t even know if Kylie has implants, I was just writing as if she does because she looks so lovely in this little summer dress….That was the best kind of damage control I could do.

Posted in:Kylie Minogue|Plastic Surgery|Tits|Unsorted

2007

16

May

I am – Kellie Pickler's New Tits of the Day

4 Comments »

I used to think I was a great judge of who had fake tits and who didn’t, but the fake tits I was spotting were the shitty jobs that bitches with no money would get or the insane jobs that bitches with some money would get to make more money in their stripping careers. I am talking girls with implants would either look like they had disgusting round and uneven awkward looking botched tits or absurdly HUGE tits that were so obviously fake. So now that I realize that I am not a great judge of anything, I can say that I have no idea if Kellie Pickler got new tits or not, but she’s showing something off that I am sure you don’t mind looking at, because you are unemployed or on disability or on welfare, because this site is banned in offices internationally. That’s how good at blogging I am….

The thing I like about this bitch is that she looks like she is dumb as bricks at the whole world around her seems exciting and colorful. She’s the kind of girl you can keep happy by turning on the cartoon channel and giving her a bag of candy. I am pretty sure she’d get so sucked in that you could go off drinking with your friends and come back 4 days later and she’d be in the same position not even realizing that you left her….not that you’ll ever get the chance to test it out, unless maybe she ends up on the stripping circuit, which isn’t unlikely making her new tits a pretty solid investment or her future life.

Posted in:Kellie Pickler|Plastic Surgery|Tits|Unsorted

2007

16

May

I am – Kellie Pickler’s New Tits of the Day

4 Comments »

I used to think I was a great judge of who had fake tits and who didn’t, but the fake tits I was spotting were the shitty jobs that bitches with no money would get or the insane jobs that bitches with some money would get to make more money in their stripping careers. I am talking girls with implants would either look like they had disgusting round and uneven awkward looking botched tits or absurdly HUGE tits that were so obviously fake. So now that I realize that I am not a great judge of anything, I can say that I have no idea if Kellie Pickler got new tits or not, but she’s showing something off that I am sure you don’t mind looking at, because you are unemployed or on disability or on welfare, because this site is banned in offices internationally. That’s how good at blogging I am….

The thing I like about this bitch is that she looks like she is dumb as bricks at the whole world around her seems exciting and colorful. She’s the kind of girl you can keep happy by turning on the cartoon channel and giving her a bag of candy. I am pretty sure she’d get so sucked in that you could go off drinking with your friends and come back 4 days later and she’d be in the same position not even realizing that you left her….not that you’ll ever get the chance to test it out, unless maybe she ends up on the stripping circuit, which isn’t unlikely making her new tits a pretty solid investment or her future life.

Posted in:Kellie Pickler|Plastic Surgery|Tits|Unsorted