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Archive for the Rod Stewart Category

2011

13

Jan

Rod Stewart’s Knocked Up Monster Has Huge Tits of the Day

I am generally not the kind of person who is into weird animals at the zoo and their gestation, if anything pregancy disgusts me as much as it scares me, because the idea of a living creature growing inside you is pretty fucking twisted and unnatural, even though it’s totally natural and possibly the only thing we have left that is our core purpose as humans….but that all changes when the pregnant tits swell, the nipples get hard, even if they are on the body of a monster or have a troll hanging off the bitch cuz his hustle is attaching his midget self to all the washed up, tall blonde models who are manly enough to still allow his homo ass to cum….not that it matters….here are some Penny Lancaster tits to ignore her scary face….

Posted in:Penny Lancaster|Rod Stewart

2009

12

Oct

Rod Stewart’s Short Man Syndrome in Pictures of the Day

I don’t know if the actual cause of this union is short man syndrome. You know like that scene in Debby Does Dallas when her boss dresses up like the football quarterback before fucking the shit out of her because he was too short to actually be on the team when he was in high school, or maybe a better reference would be a Napoleon complex, where motherfucker tries to compensate for his height, by making a lot of money and landing a variety of whores the get back at the tall people who used to call him “shrimp” or make midget jokes about him, or if this is just a case of hiding his homosexuality and figuring if a bitch is a model, that must mean straight people like her and find her sexy, using that as a gauge to determine if a girl is hot to him, since as a fag he doesn’t have that instinct, but knows enough that a tall, blonde is the mold he needs to fit when it comes to pretending a bitch is his wife or maybe he just likes girls who have the same chin as him because they may be his illegitimate kid he doesn’t know about after fuckin’ a groupie 35 years ago. That’s not to say his wife isn’t a scary fucking monster of a woman, but it is to say that it doesn’t really matter…..

What does matter is how funny he looks next to her in these pics and although we are all the same height laying down, the sex must be a hell of a lot funnier than normal person sex, you know with his pretending he’s not gay, trying to fool her by crawling up her leg like a kid in the playground, less scared of playing with her vagina than he is of being outted as a faggot….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Rod Stewart|Short

2009

22

Jan

Rod Stewart’s Short Man Syndrome’s Gone Too Far of the Day

Rod Stewart likes big girls, because he’s short. It’s a typical small man syndrome situation, where the small man spends his teenage years jerking off to the hot girls in his class, then decides that he’s tired of the rejection, gets successful and runs after all the tall girls he otherwise couldn’t have, usually being manly lookin’ models, because anyone who sings the shit he sings has got to be gay, but that’s not good for his career, so he goes for girls who know just how to strap on and fuck the shit out of him in his extended king sized bed he got from the same supplier as Shaq and when he’s done he climbs up and down her like a mountain climber trying to conquer a mountain.

Posted in:Monster|Penny Lancaster|Rod Stewart|Short Man Syndrom

2008

03

Dec

Little Man Rod Stewart and His Monster Wife of the Top

Rod Stewart is proof that being a very rich rockstar overrides being a little man, because he manages to get with tall blonde models, knocks them up and moves onto other tall blond models all the fucking time, I have a specific type of woman too, and that’s one who has genitals, or anything that can double as a vagina, but I have no standards…..while most little men get no love because girls generally don’t go for men who make them feel like they are monsters. I figure he’s gotta have a huge cock, because I’m sure this Penny Lancaster beast has money of her own and his money wouldn’t be enough to lock her pussy down to some guy who’s songs she used to sing along to in the 80s, because with a body that size, her vagina means fucking business and I hear it’s the size of laundry hamper, but doesn’t smell as nice as dirty laundry, but that’s all just rumors.

Another Rod Stewart Rumor….the reason his daughter Kimberly has such a busted up face was because daddy’s accidentally ran over her in his Rolls Royce in between ripping lines off supermodel pussies and writing shitty music, because he didn’t notice her running up to the car, since to him, she’s just someone he writes monthly checks that he’s only met a handful of times.

On a side note, I think running after blond masculine lookin’ tall chicks is cliche, like dude’s trying to go for what he thinks other people think is hot, since the girls made a career for their “look”, while still being masculine enough for him to call dad, something that turns him on because he’s in the closet and this model act is just overcompensation. You know, with a name like Rod, he’s pretty much got no choice but to headline the gay bath houses around the world in his own kind of special concert that involves him taking 4 dicks at a time.

Posted in:Penny Lancaster|Rod Stewart

2008

23

Jun

Rod Stewart Suckin’ Tit of the Day

Rod Stewart doesn’t just suck at making good music, but he also sucks tit. Here’s the little man out with his current blond model wife on their Yacht, because unlike other little men, he didn’t join the circus and became a top of the charts recording artist and made millions upon millions of dollars. With millions upon millions of dollars and a sultry voice and stupid hair and outrageous costumes you can convice models tend to think you’re worth around since they are used to being surrounded by fags and I can only assume that this mini-man is a tripod because it’s really the only way all these models lining up for him makes sense.

Either way, here is Rod Stewart putting on a little performance and overcompensating with the ladies in hopes of convincing us all that he’s not actually a homo by sucking his wife Penny Lancaster’s tit on his yacht, but there’s no foolin’ us, with a name like Rod, it’s kinda of your birthright to become the Queen Gay Lord, in fact there are rumors that Rod invented homosexuality, and that his daughter Kimmy was just something he brought home with him from a night of barebacing at the bathouse. Kinda like Aids, but way more annoying.

Posted in:Rod Stewart|Tit Suckin'