Here’s a little patriotic moment for all you proud Americans to stand at your desks, hand on chest, singing the national anthem, shooting off your guns into your trailer park roof, while shopping at Walmart, eating fast food, figuring out some kind of insurance scam so that you don’t have to ever work, to pay off the debt you can’t afford to pay back, that you got yourself into when buying wide-screen TVs to pollute your brain with shows like the Kardashians, and Honey Booboo, hoping one day your dumb ass gets a show of it’s own…American dreams…in the form of an Olympic winner posing half naked…and athletic…figure skater…which for a Canadian who has masturbated to figure skating…is erotic.

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Has anyone ever jerked off to a figure skater before? I have. There was a time before internet when I didn’t have cable, and the one channel my antenna picked up played figure skating every fucking Sunday in winter…I live in Canada…winter sports always win… so I had limited options, and those little athletic things in skirts flipping around…were all I had…panty flashes, camel toes…I mean when the men in the sport may be gay, and the concept gay, but when you break it down to panty flashes it makes fucking sense…

Retired figure skater Sasha Cohen posted this picture of herself in a bikini on Facebook. I guess to show you that she’s ripped…I like to think she is doing this for her fans, or maybe it’s for her coach who trained her real good from a young age to be a champion….you know how these sports go…filled with sex offence…

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Retired figure skater Sasha Cohen posted this picture of herself in the park, pulling some kind of Yoga move I call “ready for anal”…with her ass up in the air and her pussy spread open under those shorts ready for entry…these Olympic athletes in obscure sports like skating, or swimming are all fucking perverts whether being molested by coaches or older lesbians in the locker rooms, they know what’s up.….but unfortunately she’s not perverted enough to post this shit from the right angle for the real fans…you know those of us who like their ass shots from straight up and not from the side…

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Olympic figure skater Sasha Cohen as at some dude named Victor Weir-Voronov’s pool party this past weekend, and like most pool parties, she got into a bikini, only at this party, she decided to pose for a group shot like a fucking boss, you know at the right angle to show off her fit round ass an ass she clearly knew she had, because most girls in bikinis who aren’t so confident about their ass posing, usually have a sarong or towel or oversized t-shirt to compensate, even when their asses aren’t half bad.

All this to say, this is just another example of athletic girls in to fitness because it is their livelihood, squatting their way into an ass I’d like to chip my tooth on.

Seriously, I love fit booty, and this one blows my fucking mind, unlike trying to masturbate to figure skating back when it was on the only channel I had, because along with tennis and swimming, the camel toe and panty flash is there, but so hard to time right your orgasm to right…

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Sasha Cohen is some Olympic figure skater who loves being in her bikini. This time she’s spiced it up with some YOGA poses in her bikini. Which is convenient, cuz I’ve been masturbating to Yoga girls on Instagram for the last month. It is my new hardcore porn, because there’s something nice about a contained body in spandex doing poses that are unnatural but amazing…especially when fantasizing about fucking them in that pose…

So like this was figure skating on a Sunday when hungover, with all the panty flashing, camel toe and athleiticism, and I’d be willing to jerk off to it…fit, tight, bendy….awesome.

Time to join the Yoga for the health benefits, but more importantly to stare at farting, tight asses.

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I don’t know who the fuck Sasha Cohen…I thought Sasha Cohen was Borat….but apparently she’s a girl in her bikini on social media that people are talking about…despite her body not really being an idea bikini body….well I decided to google her…turns out she’s some Olympic figure skater and not a new Ali G character, and her body, despite being that of an athlete, I would and have probably masturbated to back before I had the internet, when figure skating on sunday after noons was all that was on TV, it’s not really one I’m into right now…especially when all her pics involve that beard who is a mix of Bob Villa, Al from Tool Time, and the dude on American pickers…shit’s throwing me off….

Here are th epics anyway….

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Anyone ever jerk off to Figure Skating? I have.

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I have jerked off to figure skating….much more than once in my life…and I am not ashamed….because I am Canadian and I think that is what we are all supposed to do at least once in our life….especially when we only get one channel…and that channel is the CBC…and the only thing on TV that Sunday hangover, is figure skating, filled with tiny built bodies and countless panty flashes…often camel toe or jacked up ass cheeks…all set to classical music…showcasing athleticism in a way that is almost romantic….

Her name is Sasha Cohen, she figure skates….she wins Olympic medals….she now is pushing the self shot bikini hustle for her fans…cuz like swim team…these motherfuckers are horny as fuck….and LOOKING BACK ON MY COVERAGE ….she’s proved she’s into getting attention….next stop…sex tape.

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Sasha Cohen is an Olympic Figure skater and doing what housewives, the same housewives who hate strippers, do to impress their husbands because secretly they wish they were strippers…all that male attention is all they’ve ever wanted but are too angry and full of hate to give into those urges of being an exhibiionist cunt….

Only difference is Sasha Cohen does it for twitter, blurry but still flexible, I mean she is pretty much a stripper professionally on the ice and on skates, only she leaves her clothes on as she bends and flashes panties. making this the logical progression of her career in the off season….or when injury and sponsorships dry up….I’m into her strategic planning for the future like so many dancers, both on ice and on stage before her….

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