Scarlett Johannson Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2019

30

Aug

Scarlett Johansson Back Tat of the Day

SCARLETT JOHANSSON back tat is pretty much the single ugliest thing a celebrity that people have collectively decided is hot, even though I never fully bought into it, I always thought it was a lot of hype, has done to herself…

What the fuck in her rich as fuck, working actor, Jewish mind led her to get some dumb fucking graffitti that is more on the artistic level of a high school aged TAGGER writing dumb shit on a bush shelter, only in this case she’s the bus shelter….

It just makes no sense to me…

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Posted in:Scarlett Johannson|SFW

2019

13

Aug

Scarlett Johansson Old Legs of the Day

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At first I thought this photo of Scarlett Johansson was an ad for Deep Vein Thrombosis awareness….DON’T FUCKING SIT ON A PLANE TOO LONG GET UP AND STRETCH IT IS A REAL FUCKING ISSUE….

I had no idea that SCARJO had a stupid fucking full back tattoo like some trailer trash in Florida who has decided to Full-Time in her RV now that work at the strip club has dried up. Only the trash in Florida is more tolerable…..yes it’s that bad.

I bought into the SCARJO is hot narrative the media shoved down our throats back in 2005 when she was getting started, but I was quick to realize they were lying to us, we were being told a storyline that was just FAKE NEWS….you know to sell movies, to get bigger budgets…it’s an industry that relies on brain washing idiots.

So 15 years later, her ass in a bating suit on the beach, is about as garbage as I’d expect, you know as a celebrity who is still working, you’d think her days would be spent trying to deal with those thighs, but instead…she’s just like “I’m SCARJO – I CAN DO NO WRONG – THEY ALL LOVE ME”…and that level comfort led to complacency and complacency led to cottage cheese ass….I realize she’s 40 but that’s no fucking excuse…do better, work harder, you slacker getting ready for your LIVE ACTION MUPPET role as Miss Piggy.

I guess the surprising thing in this is that her Boyfriend isn’t black. Black dude love this kind of thick blonde pussy.

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Posted in:Scarlett Johannson

2019

12

Apr

Scarlett Johansson Got Them Tits Out of the Day

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Scarlett Johansson is one of those celebrities that was famous before the internet, so she’s not out there relentlessly producing content to shove down our throats, so we virtually forget she exists, until she has a shitty movie to promote, than she is everywhere.

It is probably a good tactic, because we don’t have to experience her demise on a daily basis, that can negatively effect a woman, but watching her rot out daily on social media would make seeing her expired far less shocking, you know like watching a pot of water boil, shit is gradual….

With her tactic, it’s like “fuck she used to be Scarlett Johansson”….and now she’s “Old Scarlett Johansson”….

I remember when she first appeared on the scene, I remember when the studios decided she was the next big thing, I remember when I saw she had 10 movies on IMDB in production before she even went officially mainstream and I knew she was dialled in somewhere with someone who wanted her to win….and she won…

This is her now….pretty depressing how life plays out for all of us. Looking at her is a reminder of our own mortality. No longer 20 with the world ahead of us, now older with our failures or in her case her wins behind us….

Here she is eating hot wings promoting her bullshit CLICK HERE

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Posted in:Scarlett Johannson|SFW

2014

04

Mar

Top Reason We’re Happy Scarlett Johannson is Pregnant of the Day

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She already has a mom body.

In the event you haven’t heard…Scarlett Johannson is 5 months pregnant and weirdos everywhere are celebrating or depressed because ever since Ghost World, Scarlett Johannson has been their fetish…despite being overrated as an actor and far too successful than she deserves.

I tried to do a top 10 reasons why we’re happy Scarlett Johannson is pregnant, even though I know people who read this site are disillusioned weirdos who are probably upset about it because they think this dampens their non-existent chance in their fantasies…and all I could come up with is that she already has a dumpy overrated mom body..

Here’s some pics to celebrate the pregnancy and bring that point home…

I am more into this NSFW Scarlett Johannson look-a-like having sex

Posted in:Scarlett Johannson

2014

14

Jan

Scarlett Johannson Sucking Straw for SodaStream of the Day

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Scarlett Johannson is getting really Glamourous jobs doing ad campaigns for Soda Stream, the Soda Company that banks off their fake Super Bowl ads that never get approved by the Super Bowl, because they are not Coke or Pepsi…but they are probably more relevant than Coke or Pepis, if not owned by Coke or Pepsi, because giving fat Americans the ability to make their own soda pops soft drinks in the comfort of their own mould ridden trailer home..is like massive…at least massive enough to book Scarlett Johannson to be sucking straws for their campaign…and I’m not posting this because Soda Stream pays me, I just like seeing fat Scarlett sucking away like she really believes in the product, because she probably does…you know she may even be doing this for free…

Either way, straw sucking face is erotic to me.

Posted in:Scarlett Johannson

2013

07

Oct

Scarlett Johannson Esquires Hottest of the Year of the Day

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I don’t know about these arbitrary, random, pulled out of their ass, paid for by their publicist lists, but I am sure I’ve posted about this so many times before, whether it is People’s list, or any list, I just know the number one slot is died into a big advertiser, like a movie that’s coming out, or a just because the media are whores and do what they are told by the powers who control the news….

So I know that Scarlett Johannson isn’t the hottest shit out there, she’s old, divorced and was never the hottest shit out there, even when she was at her prime…and I assume so does Esquire…because that’s why they shot her from the head up…

IT’s almost offensive how dumb we think we are, but even more offensive that they make lists like this in the first place, everyone knows there is no such thing as the hottest girl…in the world…and if there is she’s probably in Russia or in the third world…not getting paid millions to get into a pair of SPANX on set of some shit movie…

But I’ll post the pics anyway…because that’s what they want me to do.

Posted in:Scarlett Johannson

2008

29

Apr

Scarlett Johannson Does Tom Waits of the Day

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I am not going to lie, I don’t hate Tom Waits but I do hate people who try to be Tom Waits. Not because I am some fag who thinks things like his music is so relevant that it should stay sacred like some psycho fan who takes life too seriously, because I got nothing else going on in my life, reality is I don’t have anything else going on in my life and I don’t even have any Tom Waits on my computer but I just don’t care if his songs are butchered because caring is as lame as the Art Fag Poser who covers his music to show the world just how obscure and deep she is. It’s like seeing a rich girl dressed homeless trying to denounce her rich girl ways while talking pictures on some second hand film camera because digital is for the masses and they are so different than the masses as they discuss politics and the environment taking life too fuckin’ seriously. We get it, you are going through an identity crisis, but why the fuck do you need to bother the rest of us with your bullshit, because you aren’t some social outcast living in a loft with 20 other artists, you’re some kind of poser celebrity living in a luxury loft singing Tom Waits so the world knows just how multi-dimensional you are. Go fuck yourself.

Posted in:Scarlett Johannson|Tom Waits