Here is my favorite feature of the day that everyone who comes to the site hates – since it’s hard to jerk off to the news – unless your only TV channel is the news and you’ve got a boner, no internet or magazines and the neighbor’s daughter isn’t sun tanning in the backyard….if you know what I mean….or you are weird….which you probably are, since you are visiting this site to jerk off and there’s nothing normal about that…and there is nothing normal about these weirdos in the news…

Mullet Man Stops Intruder in CT

A man with a gigantic mullet came face to face with an intruder that he was able to scare off – I am ready for the remix of this…

PA School Bus Driver in Court for Tickling Students

OH School Janitor Sentenced for Sex with teen

FL Cop Fired Over Fake Call to Get Girlfriend back

A Florida police officer, desperate to talk to his ex-girlfriend, conspired to get her to respond to a fake crime alert at a mall.

Oklahoma Kidnapper Falls Off Bridge in Standoff

A kidnapping suspect fell off a bridge after a standoff with local police

Metal Stands Collapse at Car Race in Brazil

Posted in:stepNEWS

Here is everyone’s least favorite feature – even though there’s some serious funny shit ever once in a while, but I guess there’s no real accounting for taste or sense of humor…and I guess if you really analyzed the shit, you’d know it’s actually seriously depressing…but here are some clips from today….they come with no guarantees…

Braves OF Trips Phillies Fan on Field

Flying Fish Attack A Mid-South Woman in Mississippi
Hundreds Of Asian Carp Leave At Least One Person Injured

Man Claims Insanity by Caffeine, Murders Wife
After strangling his wife with an extension cord a Kentucky man pleaded insanity by caffeine….Good one….

Twitter Hacked, Sending Users to Porn

Posted in:stepNEWS

Here is some shit going on in the news…..cuz the world is doomed….

Six Your Old Kicked of Cheerleading Squad Over Racy Cheer

A Michigan mother concerned about the suggestive cheer her daughter’s squad was performing spoke up and got her daughter kicked off the squad for the year.

Atlanta Man Shot and Killed Over a Beer
A man in Atlanta was shot and killed after refusing to hand over a beer

Marijuana Ice Cream Hitting Shelves
Marijuana patients in California will now be able to buy marijuana laced ice cream

Man Arrested for Flipping Out on School Bus

A father, frustrated with the treatment of his daughter on a school bus, was arrested in Florida for threatening boys on the bus for placing open condoms on his daughter.

Pepper spray mistaken for cologne

CAMBRIDGE – A group of children playing at the playground of the Cambridgeport Elementary School were pepper sprayed by accident this morning.

A Cop’s 7 Year Old Shot His Brother with his Dad’s Gun……

Posted in:stepNEWS

Here is everyone’s favorite daily feature that leads to hate mail, which in and of itself, makes it worth posting, because people have stopped bothering with me, they used to hatefully call me out every fucking day, but for some reason, the stepNEWS is the only thing that strikes a nerve now, pretty fucking weird…

Caught on Tape: Darth Vader Robs Convenience Store

A Michigan man robbed a store wearing a Darth Vader mask and wielding butcher’s knife

Caught on Tape: MN Teen Attacks Cop Car with Bat

Rape Charge Dropped Against Rabbi

A valley rabbi was accused of raping a young girl, but now all charges against him have been dropped.

FL City Manager Married to Porn Star, Citizens Upset

The hiring of a new city manager in Flagler Beach is stirring up emotions in the small town of 5,000 residents.

Woman Dragged Out of Circle K by Ex-Boyfriend..Treat that Negro Right.

WI District Attorney Sent Sexy Texts to Domestic Abuse Victim

A Wisconsin District Attorney sent inappropriate texts to a woman whose boyfriend he was prosecuting for domestic abuse

Man Sues Woman for Krazy Glue Penis Scam

Caught on Tape: Robber Makes Off with Liquor Down Pants

A man stuffed $518 worth of liquor into his pants and walked out of a Fenton convenience store over the weekend, police say.

Posted in:stepNEWS

I know some of you really can’t stand the stepNEWS, I get more hate over this than “Negro”, “Fag” and “Faux-Fag” jokes…Seriously, I call women out for being whores daily, but for some reason posting clips of idiots being idiots cuz it makes me laugh gets at lest one of you very fucking angry….

I guess “news” is too much thinking for your moron self…which makes me wonder why you haven’t ended up in this post…pretty much designed to celebrate morons….

Man Arrested for Exposing Self to Cop on AZ
A 33-year-old man has been charged with indecent exposure for exposing himself at a public park restroom.

Clown Charged With Sex Offense
Kids around D.C. know him as Fonzie the Clown. To law enforcement, he is Alphonso Pittman. And for at least the fourth time, Pittman has been charged with a sex offense. This is pretty obvious….

News Anchor Broadcasts in Boxer Shorts

Delta Pilot Arrested for Being Drunk on Duty

School Suspends Kid for Bloodshot Eyes
Administrators at Byron Nelson High School in Trophy Club suspended a 16-year-old boy on Tuesday because his eyes were bloodshot and they thought he might have been smoking marijuana, but he was crying because his father recently died.

OH Woman Arrested for Teaching Her 2 Year Old Daughter to Smoke Pot on Video….Ghetto Obvious….

School Presentation Gets Suddenly X-Rated With Hardcore Male Pornography

White Trash FL Man arrested for using BB gun on son to jog
Bonus: Horrible hat tanline

1-Yr-Old Girl Nearly Drowns in Toilet

Posted in:stepNEWS

After seeing a man with Tourette’s getting his Karaoke on to REM’s “Losing My Religion.” I figure there’s no real other story worth watching…but I that’s not news…that’s probably a dude bullshitting his way to internet fame…so here are a few other stories….

FL Teacher Arrested for Groping Student

Weak Video: Dancer Gets a Handful of Usher’s Rig on Stage Even Though He’s Gay
During Ushers Little Freak live performance at the American Music Festival in Daytona Beach FL, female back-up dancers grabs his crotch

Old Miss Students Worried About Panty Thief

FL Teacher Arrested for Groping Student

Posted in:stepNEWS

My friend just told me he was at Walmart earlier today and a homeless lady lost her fucking mind because she got caught stealing condoms and nyquil. I love watching crazy shit, but unfortunately my friend isn’t up to date on technology and didn’t have a video camera on him, like 90 percent of the times I see something interesting….so it will never make it in the stepNEWS….but here is some shit that did…

OH Hair Salon Attack Leaves Mom Needing Surgery

A misunderstanding, a bad haircut, and a fight left a mom being attacked with scissors

WNYW Reporter Interrupted During Live Shot

Tai Hernandez of WNYW is interrupted by a passerby during a live shot report on the Mosque in Lower Manhattan.

Naked Man Found in Slide at Playground

A PA man was found naked and holding a bag of marijuana

Student Claims Teacher Got Her Pregnant

A special education student has filed a lawsuit claiming that a D.C. teacher got her pregnant. The suit also blames the city school system

Penn State on Alert Over Flasher

World’s Largest Breast Implants Removed

The world has come to know her well. Sheyla Hershey is known for her striking smile and her large M cup breast implants. She has tried to save them for the past three months, but that fight has come to an end.

MS Mother Knowingly Lets Kids Move In with Convicted Child Molester

A Mississippi woman is accused of knowingly pimping out her teen sons to a convicted child predator

Posted in:stepNEWS

I just watched Jerry Lee Lewis on The View because Whoopi Goldberg is porn to me. It was nice to see a man who sacrificed his career to marry a 13 year old cousin performing after all these years of living what would have been a criminal life, in therapy talking about why he likes fucking girls who haven’t hit puberty yet, but it wasn’t criminal at the time….

Either way, he rocked the fuck out, despite struggling to put two sentences together, reminding me that there are real talents in the world, you know people who just have it. I am not one of those people. I don’t have any notable skills. Maybe that’s why I drink…

So I’m just gonna post the stepNEWS for now….while I go find myself.

PA Teacher Accused of Propositioning Female Students for Sex

A female teacher was caught texting students for sex in western Pennsylvania

Illegal Abortion Clinic in Maryland Shut Down

Memphis Man Busted for Indecent Exposure at Park

NC Restaurant Bans Crying Kids

Olde Salty’s, a restaurant in North Carolina, will not tolerate crying, screaming, or whining kids.

MGM Lion Attack in Las Vegas

Graphic video of a lion attacking it’s trainer at the MGM’s Vegas Wildlife Habitat. This is hardly an attack…I wanted to see some BONES…

Posted in:stepNEWS

The long weekend is over – and it’s nice to see what stupidity people got into….

Wedding Photographer Fight in Ulyanovsk, Russia

Pacific Sun Cruise Liner in Very Heavy Seas. Internal CCTV footage
Pacific Sun Cruise liner in very heavy seas. Internal CCTV footage

Men Tie Woman Up w/ Vacuum Cleaner Cord
An Arkansas woman was the victim of a home invasion, being tied up with a vacuum cleaner cord at her mobile home in Arkansas

Popular Coach arrested for solicitation

A local high school football coach is facing some serious charges. Daytona Beach police arrested John Maronto during a prostitution sting.

Woman Attacked with Acid in Oregon, Speaks Out

A Washington woman was attacked with battery acid by a mystery assailant, leaving the woman with chemical burns on her face.

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Offensive Mouse Pads Sold at Sears

Offensive mouse pads sold at Sears, including the phrase ‘I got your honor student pregnant’ among others have been removed from the store’s online site.

Man Arrested for Flashing Kids at Book Store in Florida

Boy Attacked by Sea Lion in Australia

Jack Lister was mauled by a sea lion in Australia, the boy tells reporters why he thinks he was attacked

Craigslist Adult Ads ‘Censored’

A black bar with the word “censored” is now in place over the adult services section of Craiglist.org. The move comes after years of pressure and a critical open letter from 17 state attorneys general in August.

Posted in:stepNEWS