Today is probably the weirdest day in stepNEWS history. Sure the shit has only been going on a few months now, but seriously, this one left me feeling uncomfortable…Enjoy the insanity…..
Armless Man ‘Throws’ Out First Pitch at Tigers Game – last time I checked, throwing a ball with your feet is called kicking, and kicking is for soccer so shit should be disqualified…
Reading Woman Arrested After Holding Fetus and Baby Remains in Cooler…I prefer to keep fetus in a jar in the closet that I like to use to reflect on my parenting skills….and it’s a great party starter whether alone with a woman or with a group of people…cuz nothing says party like “Wanna see my fetus in a jar”…
MA Man Had Pea Plant Growing in Lung…this is just on another level of weird that makes a paranoid motherfucker like me think I have plants growing in my lungs cuz I always inhale my food…that’s part of being fat…Scary.
I’ve been sucking today. They are filming a movie outside my house and I got models all over the fucking place. It must be for a hip hop video, you know keeping things gutter with big booty bitches in thongs, but I don’t really care what it is for…I’m loving it…like the fat bitch from Ohio loves Mcdonalds….and figure I deserve lazy staring at fat asses too…
Here is the news….
OH Woman Fights McDonald’s Employees Over McNuggets
A Toledo, Ohio woman was told that she couldn’t order Chicken McNuggets because the McDonald’s was serving breakfast, so she started fighting employees at the drive-thru window and was arrested for vandalism
Drunk Driver Drives Himself to Jail
James Hubble, Ohio man called 911 to tell the Lorain County Sheriff’s Office to let them know that he was driving drunk and wanted to turn himself in rather than wait for officers to come get him at the roadside and drove to the Sheriff’s Office.
Stripper Drags Man to Death Under Car
An Ohio stripper dragged a man to his death in Ohio while driving
PA Woman Uses Dirty Diaper in Road Rage
A Western Pennsylvania woman threw a diaper at another car and then smeared it across the back window in a fit or road rage
Here is some shit going on in the news to inspire you to do stupid things to get noticed cuz it works….
Drunk, Pregnant Woman Tries to Rob Taco John’s with Hammer in Wisconsin
Ovulating Women Buy Sexier Clothes
A study shows that ovulating women buy sexier outfits to look more attractive than other women.
Caught on Tape: Man in China Jumps In Front of Train in Hope of Internet Fame
A Chinese man hopped on train track while taping himself to make a viral video and become famous
911 Call from Base Jumper Stuck on Mountain Side
A man had to hang 600 feet overnight after
Former Miss USA Accused of Shoplifting
Shannon Marketic was accused of shoplifting from a Target store when she walked out after purchasing her items. She says it was an honest mistake, while store security says they were just doing their job.
Baby Hitler Parents Lose Custody Case
A New Jersey appeals court says a couple who named one of their children after Adolf Hitler should not regain custody of their three children.
Arkansas Residents Warned Not to Skin Wild Hogs in Heat, Weather Guy Upset
Man Fights w/ Neighbors over Underwear Display in NC
Clyde’s underwear display is getting mixed reaction in downtown Salisbury, North Carolina. He’s the owner of “Off Main Gallery” and an artist. About a week ago, he duct taped a pair of men’s underwear to the front of his shop. Clyde says he did it because he didn’t like his neighbor and says she’s not a big fan of his either.
Vanessa Marcil: I Get Cold Sores (Tells the world she has oral herpes)
Vanessa Marcil lets Wendy Williams know that she gets cold sores and the mistake that led to meeting her husband
Here is a glimpse into what is going on in the news….some may make you laugh…others may make you cry…and some may even make you want to jump off the roof of your local office tower because you don’t have any confidence our race will survive our lifetime….Enjoy…
Dog Saves the Life of Diabetic Drunk Man By Chewing Off His Toe
A drunk Michigan man who had an infected toe due to undiagnosed diabetes passed out and while he was unconscious, his dog chewed his toe off. That ended up saving his life.
TX Teacher Accused of Sex w/ 12-Year Old Boy
Caught on Tape: Ohio Man Tasered After Beating Pregnant Girlfriend and Resisting Police
A violent Ohio man who beat his pregnant girlfriend was tasered repeatedly by cops when he became violent
Caught on Tape: Chase Shows SUV Slamming Maryland Cop Car
Police chases happen all the time, but few end like this one. The chase started in Montgomery County and ended up in Prince George’s. Inside the SUV, three teenagers all suspected of robbery.
Detroit Cops: Teens Beat Blind Man, Stole $600
Detroit area authorities say as many as seven teens beat a blind man with his own cane and robbed him of $600.
Here’s some bullshit going on in the news…too keep us going….cuz in my old age, I’ve been staying close to home getting drunk and despite the voices in my head being fun…I am not around crazy people nearly enough for my liking, this laziness is gonna be the death of me…and stepNEWS is as good as it gets…..enjoy.
Thief Caught Stealing from Church During Services
A Kentucky man was able to steal laptops from a church during services while security cameras rolled
Teens Sentenced for Showing Hidden Cam Sex Tape
Woman Tied Up and Robbed, Types with Feet for Help
Amy Windom, of Atlanta, used her feet to type for freedom after a home invasion robberty
Semen Attack Suspect Charged Again
Montgomery County Police say a man arrested for throwing semen on a woman in July is also responsible for a similar assault that occurred at another store in November 2009.
OH Woman Posed as Teen Boy, Won’t Be Charged w/ Felonies
A 16 year-old girl was upset to learn that a teen boy she dated was really a 31 year-old woman and felony charges were dropped by prosecutors even though the relationship started when she was 15.
Lots of news today…Maybe posting this is getting idiots inspired to do stupid shit to get famous the real way…not the bullshit hollywood way….so catch up on what’s going on…
Man Arrested for Exposing, Touching Teen at ‘Short Pump’ Movie Theater in VA
Disabled Teen Gang-Raped in Basement
It might just be one of the worst Chicago crimes you’ve probably never heard about. It involves teenagers, charges of kidnapping, and sexual torture– all in a South Side basement.
GA Librarian Fired for Not Calling Police on Masturbating Man
A Doraville, GA librarian was fired for following policy and not calling police when a man was caught masturbating while using one of the library’s computers…you will like when you see the tranny they interview
OH Woman Posed as Teen Boy, Won’t Be Charged w/ Felonies
A 16 year-old girl was upset to learn that a teen boy she dated was really a 31 year-old woman and felony charges were dropped by prosecutors even though the relationship started when she was 15.
Russian Woman Uses Breasts to Paint
A Russian woman in St. Petersburg, Russia uses her chest to paint and is gathering a active following
Caught on Tape: Thief Gets Baking Pan to Head
Caught on Tape: Drunk Cincinnati Woman Calls 911 Four Times Looking for a Date
CA Couple in Jail for Asking Teens for Urine
A Sacramento man and wife are behind bars after asking neighborhood kids for urine so they could be a drug test
Masked man attacks woman with hatchet in Florida
A woman said she was robbed by a masked man with a hatchet this morning. The robber kicked in Tabitha Faulkner’s residence and stole $300.
OH Dad Arrested for Pushing Stroller While Drunk
A Mansfield, Ohio man was arrested for operating a stroller while intoxicated and now he’s asking for forgiveness
Here are some videos to really make you appreciate the world we live in. You know in a grab it by the balls and lick the shaft like….no homo…seriously guys….sucking the world we live in’s dick isn’t gay…shit doesn’t even have a gender…
Feces Mom’ Lands Back in Jail
The mother accused of putting feces in her sick child’s feeding tube has landed back in jail.
Man Arrested for Spraying Semen on Woman in Supermarket Parking Lot aka – My New Fetish….
As a woman was leaving a Maryland Giant store a man sprayed liquid on her back. An examination revealed the liquid was human semen.
Someone says ‘shit’ on live TV! Oh NO! Call the Christian Fundamentalists….
Caught on Tape: Snooki Falls Down on Bike
Cops in Seaside Heights, N.J., arrested “Jersey Shore” cast member Snooki on Friday afternoon, according to reports. Law enforcement sources told TMZ that officers took Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi into custody for disorderly conduct.
Atlanta Man Attacked by Beaver
An Atlanta man says he was recovering Friday from an arm wound after a beaver attacked him near Lake Lanier.
The biggest news that happened to me was when I looked out my window last night at 3 in the morning and some long-legged, probably barely 18 year old girl was passed out in a thrown out chair, stood up and took a piss on the sidewalk, with people passing her by, only to pass back out in the chair someone had thrown out, cuz maybe their grandmother died on it or some shit, and here this girl was…Shit made me fall in love with the ghetto I live in all over again….
But apparently, the world doesn’t revolve around me and my stories, so here are some things going on in the news….
Teen Convicted for Hitting Classmate in Face with Ax
The 16 year old from Hanover sliced the face of a classmate with an ax in a tractor supply store. He has been locked up since October, and will now be kept in juvenile confinement for 2 years.
Teen Says MySpace Date Led To Stabbing
A 17-year-old Fairfax County girl wound up in the hospital with stab wounds after arranging a date on MySpace, the social networking site. The girl told police she was also raped.
Denny’s Worker Behind Bars for Spiking Drinks
In a Spotsylvania County Denny’s, a worker is put behind bars for spiking the drinks of two co-workers with bleach, acting on a grudge he had with them.
Naked Man Attacked Outside Richmond Bar w/ footage
A witness filmed a naked man who was stumbling in the street and was then attacked outside of some bars in Richmond.
PA Teachers Accused Of Eating Kid’s Lunch
Are teachers at a local school helping themselves to free lunches? That is the accusation at one Philadelphia school and a whistleblower says she was fired over it.
Man Accused of Urinating on Boy
A man is accused of a disgusting act at a public pool in Saint Clair Shores. According to Saint Clair Shores Police, he showed his private parts to a seven-year-old boy in the bathroom near the pool. The man then allegedly urinated on the little boy’s shoulder while the child was using the urinal.
Engineering the ‘Ideal Breast’
You see them on runways, in catalogs, and at the beach. Public fascination with breast size and shape has fueled America’s plastic surgery industry.
Teen put Lysol in mom’s Kool-Aid
A New Hampshire teenager was arrested after allegedly putting Lysol in her mother’s drink.
LA Bondage Club Arson-Murder Suspect Arrest
The body of a man in his 50s was found inside a burned-out bondage club near Los Angeles International Airport, and a man recently fired by the club was arrested on suspicion of arson and murder.
A man wearing a Darth Vader mask and cape robbed a Chase bank branch on Long Island on Thursday, police said. The thief entered a branch in Setauket at 11:30 a.m. and demanded money from a teller. But instead of using a light saber, “Darth” threatened the teller with a semiautomatic gun.
Hilarious! Tennessee’s Next Governor?
Basil Marceaux, or as he calls himself BasilMarceaux.com, may be the last and only hope in the upcoming Tennessee race for Governor.
Man Flashes Woman on Beach
A man who works as a social worker was arrested for indecent exposure after asking a woman to take his picture and then flashing her.
Man took photos, exposed self to kids
Police are looking for a man they say is taking pictures of kids at a local park – and that’s not all
Man Gropes Woman at Brooklyn Laundry
A 19-year-old woman was folding her clothes at the Laundromat she goes to every few weeks. This past Monday morning, she was attacked, groped by a man who also rubbed up against her.
Rape Victim Says She?s Being Stalked
For two hours he raped her repeatedly in a field. That was more than a year ago. Since then he’s been stalking, taunting and threatening her on Facebook.
CT Man Attacks Women with Baseball Bat
A Connecticut man attacked two ex-girlfriends with a baseball bat when found out they were meeting to talk about him
