I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the stepTV Category

2007

30

Apr

I am – Day Dreamin' of a Yellow Helmet Garbage Picker of the Day

So I once had a cellular phone and I felt pretty prestigious because I never really had those kinds of luxuries in life but last year a neighbor gave me a Razr that he probably stole that happened to be activated and I never got a bill or had to pay a bill or any of that shit, it was just going to him. I think he had family that worked for the company or some shit, but that’s not the point. The point is that the screen blew up today and now I can’t call my favorite celebrities or text message them or any of that shit I was able to do yesterday because the motherfucker won’t turn on.

So when I get stressed out and don’t know what to do to solve the shitty problems I get myself into, I like to drift into a day dream. Today I was day dreaming about some war vet in some weird Vietnam yellow helmet action to keep his hair dry while he picked through garbage trying to make a decent living….Here is that day dream….If you have cell phones send them to me.

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

30

Apr

I am – Day Dreamin’ of a Yellow Helmet Garbage Picker of the Day

So I once had a cellular phone and I felt pretty prestigious because I never really had those kinds of luxuries in life but last year a neighbor gave me a Razr that he probably stole that happened to be activated and I never got a bill or had to pay a bill or any of that shit, it was just going to him. I think he had family that worked for the company or some shit, but that’s not the point. The point is that the screen blew up today and now I can’t call my favorite celebrities or text message them or any of that shit I was able to do yesterday because the motherfucker won’t turn on.

So when I get stressed out and don’t know what to do to solve the shitty problems I get myself into, I like to drift into a day dream. Today I was day dreaming about some war vet in some weird Vietnam yellow helmet action to keep his hair dry while he picked through garbage trying to make a decent living….Here is that day dream….If you have cell phones send them to me.

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

25

Apr

I am – stepTV Makes a Drink at a Bar of the Day

I decided that I am going to help you get pussy. The new strategy is for you to go out to bars, clubs, coffee shops, restaurants, in class, or wherever the fuck you meet girls and pretend that you are Jesus Martinez. Ask them if they read celebrity sites, drop the website name, if they know about it, go along with it, if they don’t introduce them to it and tell them that you write the site, that you’re Jesus Martinez and that you want to make them famous. I am pretty sure that it will work on some girls and I don’t mind you using my name. If they email me as a background check, I’ll go along with the lie, since it was my idea to begin with.

The reason I thought of this is because a guy I know went to a store the other day and the staff were reading the site, he told them that he wrote the site and they both gave him their numbers because Internet is the new TV and even though I have 20 readers and 2 people who leave comments, bitches still love the shit and since I can’t take advantage of it, someone should and that someone is you….

Either way, here’s stepSTEVE making a drink behind the bar with some barmaid. Enjoy.

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

24

Apr

I am – stepTV Does Debbie Does Dallas Again Party in NYC of the Day

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Debbie Does Dallas was the first porno I ever saw back when I was 15 or 16. It holds a very warm place in my heart as fetishes of big bushed cheerleaders never really left my mind. I wasn’t sure how much I liked the concept of remaking it with bikini waxes, fake tits and expensive cameras, so when I heard about the NYC Debbie Does Dallas Again launch party that happened in NYC last Thursday, I convinced Vivid that my site was good enough to get invited and they pulled through. I am obviously too broke to go to NYC so I found some people willing to help out. I wanted to get the whole thing on video but I don’t have equipment but the guy I spoke to said that he’d do it as long as he could get drunk. Since I encourage people being drunk, it seemed like he was the guy. He forgot to tell me that his camera was on a free cellphone he got for signing a 2 year contract, but he still pulled through –

This is what he had to say about the event:

So Big Pinky Derrick and I got a late start which upon entering the club was fine by us. There were swarms of shithead photographers with their expensive cameras and wall street pieces of shit in 3 piece suits that seemed to cover the place like a cum shot covers a pornstar’s tits. We immediately grabbed beers from the open bar, but only one beer at a time cause they wouldn’t let us double fist. I figured double fisting would be accepted because it’s a porn party, but maybe fisting hasn’t really made it into the mainstream porn yet.

Regardless we made our way to the cesspool of photographers, I was equipped with a polaroid I stole from my neighbor’s little sister about 10 years ago and began snapping up photos of Monique who was posing. I was catching glaring eyes of the “professional” photographers who I guess thought I was a total cunt and at one point even told me that the event was for professionals. Shit’s for DrunkenStepfahter, how much more professional can I get so I told him to Fuck off. We continued drinking staring at the scene, having team huddles in the bathroom to assess the situation.

Finally after getting shoved around by “professionals”, karma kicked in. They escorted the porn stars to a roped off section and with three piece weasels and shithead photographers foaming at the bottom of the stairs they pulled me and Big Pinky up. Giving my competition the proverbial fuck off smile me and my cohort parted the sea of scum and sat unaccompanied with Monique and Savanna who both seemed confused how a bunch of idiots like us were up there with them in the first place.

Alas the girls warmed up to us and our charming ways. The interview went fine, we parted with thanks, smiles, and gropes, and hit the bar once more before stumbling out onto the NYC streets, laughing at the whole fucking thing.” I’d say thanks Jesus and DrunkenStepfather.com, but I am convinced you had nothing to do with making this happen. It was all me, motherfucker.

here’s the video:

Here’s the interview that you can’t make out in the video.

The following questions were asked of our two lovely hedonists:


Who would win a fight Captain crunch or Captain Kirk?

Monique: Captain crunch. Probably due to brand loyalty.

Savana: Captain Kirk cause he is bigger and not a cartoon.


Who is your favorite smurf?

Monique and Savana: The only one that wore high heels and was slutty. Smurfette.


If there were a fire which would you rescue? A kitten or a puppy?

Both: The puppy. Kittens are too hard to catch an are not as cool. Puppies rule.


Punch mom in the stomach or wear a suit of Macaroni for a week.

Monique I’d definetly punch my mom in the stomach hard!
Savana: Macaroni suit.

Favorite shoes of all times?
Monique: Chucks
Savana:Giuseppi whatevers

Here are the polaroids:

I have decided that showing up to events with a camera phone is exactly where I want to take stepTV. Fuck 10,000 dollar cameras and high quality video, this shit’s ghetto there’s no denying it. I hope these guys become my NYC stepSTEVEs. If you’re wondering who they are –


Credits:

Big Pinky Derrick on camera and interviewer is from TVCARNAGE

and

Roedood behind the camera and drunk and is from VBS.tv (until I poach this motherfucker to work for me full time because Vice is massively gay)

For more info on Debbie Does Dallas Again Go HERE

Posted in:Pornstars|stepLIVIN'|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

21

Apr

I am – stepTV on the Street of the Day

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

20

Apr

I am – Day Dreamin' of a Hot Pink Box of the Day

This week was pretty fucked, I didn’t think the shootings really affected me but I had a lot of trouble getting out of bed, so maybe it did. I guess I always go back and forth whether I am crazy or not, because i sit at home and write this site everyday, while the weather is nice and there are lots of things to do that I am not doing, knowing it can all suddenly end and my legacy becomes the smut I peddled here instead of something more substantial, like curing cancer or being that guy who gave Lohan herpes.

Either way, one psycho isn’t going to change me even if it lead to lots of soul searching. I had no money for booze so it can get pretty depressing and when that hits I like to slip into a daydream about a hot pink box. Lucky for you, it was caught on video Cuddles.

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

20

Apr

I am – Day Dreamin’ of a Hot Pink Box of the Day

This week was pretty fucked, I didn’t think the shootings really affected me but I had a lot of trouble getting out of bed, so maybe it did. I guess I always go back and forth whether I am crazy or not, because i sit at home and write this site everyday, while the weather is nice and there are lots of things to do that I am not doing, knowing it can all suddenly end and my legacy becomes the smut I peddled here instead of something more substantial, like curing cancer or being that guy who gave Lohan herpes.

Either way, one psycho isn’t going to change me even if it lead to lots of soul searching. I had no money for booze so it can get pretty depressing and when that hits I like to slip into a daydream about a hot pink box. Lucky for you, it was caught on video Cuddles.

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

13

Apr

I am – stepSHIRT Fan Video of the Day

My shirt is cooler than I am. This is a fan video that was sent into an amateur porn site I frequent because watching people have sex is something I am into and no porn can really compete with. I am not going to lie, this video made me feel like I had a fan when I got it and it means that someone out there wears my shitty merch. I generally get no traffic and no emails telling me how much I am loved and this changed all that. I felt all warm and fuzzy as a motherfucker molests a sleeping girl in a stepSHIRT. Watch it for yourself and tell your friends.

Someone told me that if I want to make it in the celebrity blog world, I’d have to clean this site up. This is my attempt at doing that. I’m on my way to PG baby…..

Visit Julie’s Room for all your amateur porn needs…

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

13

Apr

I am – Fat Chick Does a Blowjob Shot of the Day

I was told that whenever I am around the conversation always goes back to sex. I try to explain that happens because I am pretty sexually frustrated and haven’t had a real vagina in over 6 years now. Sometimes I pass ziplock baggies full of rotting in them on the sidewalk and think to myself that that shit would probably be a hot fuck…

This is a video taken of a fat chick doing a blowjob shot in a bar. It made me laugh so I decided to share because sharing is what we are here for, now feel free to share pictures of your ex girlfriends or current girlfriends with me because writing this blog is lonely sometimes….

You’d think that a hefty bitch would know how to give a fucking blowjob considering guys have probably been taking advantage of her and playing off her insecurities since she was 14 landing them the best blowjobs of their life and giving her 2 minutes of gratification, you know feeling like she’s wanted. You’d also think that a fat chick would never miss the chance to take in as many calories as she can by not letting anything in front of her go uneaten, but reality is that sometimes things don’t happen like they are supposed to.

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

11

Apr

I am – Day Dreamin’ of Joining a Cult of the Day

So my donate here button didn’t really work. I got all of one donation and I still owe 1,500 dollars, it was worth trying because in my fantasies Lohan reads this site, and 1,500 dollars to her isn’t even what goes up her nose every night, so I figured she’d be willing to share since I’ve been so good to her but maybe my dreams of Lohan aren’t real. It turns out that no one reads this site and I still have to come up with the money and I am one day closer to the due date and dates generally stress me the fuck out so I am forced to sit back and weigh my options, the most appealing one is to join a cult, where none of my problems matter and all I have to do is give my wife away to the cult leader in exchange for paradise….something I am willing to do…Either way, here’s my day dream.

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Unsorted