Tara Reid is a Goddess….sure a Goddess of spring break backwash filled with vomit and STDs who you wouldn’t want to touch even if she lost her wallet and plane ticket home and needed a place to stay and was willing to exhcange her body unless you were me and into that kind of desparation…but at least she’s not fat…and more importantly at least she’s alive…there’s been some hard living had by her…and still rocks a bikini better than most 40 year olds…I am into it

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Tara Reid has had a pretty amazing life, but more importanly it is amazing that she still has a life….you know throwing away an acting career, that was still bottom feeding in shitty movie, was still a career that made her money consistently as well as made guys jerk off to her pre-implants, during botched tit job, and after titty upgrade….to become a perpetual party host drunk, living college spring break well into her 40s, and now with her big comeback tour of American Pie 47, featuring original gang of reject has-beens to keep the story continuity, she’s now getting some interest from other places….and who fucking cares…oh right I do…cuz she’s doing it half naked….Good little bottom feeder…not release a sex tape. It’s time.

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The world needs more close up video of Tara Reid’s face. You know after years of partying and hard living, there’s a whole lot of stories present in each line, bag, discoloration and saggy skinned crevice.

You know it has taken her years of abuse, drugs, booze, sleepless nights, facials (not the beauty salon kind) to leave remnants of a youthful hot chick damaged, tired and ready for a nap…and that needs to be celebrated.

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Every once in a while I feeel dirty….you know too dirty to go on…maybe it has to do with my lack of a shower in a few days…or really a lack of any personal hygiene….or maybe it has to do with the fact that I can smell my own asshole while sitting because I don’t change pants or underwear pretty much ever….or maybe it’s all the unprotected sex I have…cuz condoms are for pussies…or maybe it is more poor diet, no exercise, hard drinking and occassional chain smoking…..but I know whenever I’m feeling my worst in terms of health…all it takes is a glance at perpetual chronic party girl Tara Reid and realize I’m not that bad…cuz I have a few more college spring breaks in me…while Tara Reid and her non-existent career is gonna’ Britney Murphy…just wait and see….

Now that I feel better about me….even though my life isn’t as luxurious as hers…..we can focus on what is important…like the hard truth that she’s not showing off her fucking implants like she’s supposed to…it’s the whole point of getting implants you bikini rockin’ keg standing trash. Get it together woman.

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As someone who loves crackwhores like Tara Reid loves LA and London, because I have have had some of the best sexual experiences with greasy, unshowered, haggard, women in soiled clothing….at least in terms of cost…cuz I figure skinny, emaciated, desperate, down on her luck, dirty and addicted to a variety of substances leads to more bang for my buck…so to me these pics of Tara Reid are more promising than any Red Carpet or glamorous event I’ve seen her attend, it’s even better than any VIP spring break party that hasn’t ended in the last decade she’s been caught up in, because I know under this sweatshirt are fake tits, and a hurting soul, who is going to make the wrong choices to get herself back to that happy place she was once at…and these damaged bitches always do that through sex…it’s a basic human need and only a small step away to the whoring of herself she’s used to….

Seriously, I’d totally bang Tara Reid from these pics in a back alley for 40 dollars tax in and you would too and I think that’s really what we need to focus on when we see such a mess of a human…

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Tara Reid FLASHED HER PANTIES IN THIS OUTFIT ….but I was far more interested in the condition of her legs…maybe because Tara Reid panties are a disgusting concept, even though I love sniffing the panties of party sluts, except maybe for tryng to decipher how much dry semen from how many men made that crusty residue….or maybe cuz panty flashes are just fucking obvious, boring, not sexy…while the skin falling off the legs of a pushing 40, once hot, always drunk international perpetual spring breaker, is almost erotic….but that’s just cuz I love emaciated, half dying bitches, too weak to run away, even when they are trying to make a media comeback because they’re running out of money cuz they haven’t worked since Lohan was in office.

No, I don’t know what that means either. But FOLLOW THIS LINK TO SEE HER PANTIES

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Tara Reid’s marriage publcicity stunt seems to be working. She got asked to present at some kind of award show that may have been a joke to actual celebrities, you know z-list at best, I think David Hasselhoff’s wife was up there presenting too, caliber of amazingly irrelevant….but shit’s better than anything this twat’s been up to the last 5 years, so big things coming and I’m just happy cuz I get to stare at the bottom half of her fake tit….in this weird dress…

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Tara Reid’s shitty Honeymoon Pics with her Weird Looking, Likely Gay, Husband she’s probably paying were posted to twitter by what I can only assume was her publicist because Tara Reid definitely still has a staff behind her that needs to get paid and what better way to get work or at least money than to remind us assholes that she exists…I mean if I was a drunken party slut who was running out of American Pie money, I’d pretend to get married too…shit doesn’t fuck with a schedule like trying to hang on with Dancing with the Stars…

She/ her publicist wrote inspiring messages like “Happiness”, “Peace”, “Bulgaria we Love You”….insane…

She’s still hot…damaged…pushing 40 and still down to party hard in luxury cuz she was famous once…and as far as I’m concerned…that’s perfection…

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So you may or may not know that Tara Reid got engaged and married yesterday while in Greece to a guy name Zack Keyahov….She’s already sold the pics to Life & Style in a pretty easy cash grab….

Now I’m not sure if he knew Tara Reid before yesterday, but if I was in his position I would have done the exact same thing….why the fuck not…some damaged ex celeb pussy is better than undamaged no name pussy…I mean except maybe in Tara Reid’s case because I’m convinced her twat looks like a ball-less scrotum….making this Zack Keyahov a likely homo sexual addicted to the attention he’s bound to be getting….and sex with her is a small price to pay for all the glory….especially since she lets him stick it up her ass cuz she understands his situation and prefers it to vaginal sex cuz it’s the only way she feels it…it is a small tradeoff to have people talking about her again…

Either way, married or not…attention whore in a perpetual party or not….I still think she’s luxurious and hot….and here is her lovely wedding pic I always thought I’d be in with her cuz I’m into drunk party sluts from the movies…

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Here’s Tara Reid, showing off awesome second set of fake tits after the first set humiliated her as she parties in LA, because I guess the party has finally come full circle and the epic, never ending spring break story has finally come to an end…I’m I am kinda glad she didn’t die in the process like those other celebs who couldn’t handle the heat of the 5 year all night dance party….I’m talking to you Brittany Murphy.

Here she is in her regular clothes….

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