Lady Gaga talks like a Drag Queen. There is no way that her raspy voice dick suckin’ voice does not have a penis. She is also into outrageous half naked outfits, ugly chinless faces, and this glam bullshit, and all that shit is way to gay….this is a stage show you’d find at the local drag bar and I’ve been to a few of them, I’ve always hung out with drag queens and she’s fully biting their style. I don’t believe she has a vagina because I don’t want to believe she has a vagina, but if she does, it is safe to say that all the showboating is just to distract us from the ugly she is.
Archive for the The View Category
Heidi Montag was asked about her fake tits and nose job and basically said she got it done because of insecurities that have always followed her from being teased as a kid. This gives teaches a strong lesson to kids everywhere, and by everywhere I mean the small percentage of her fans that aren’t autistic or retarded, and that lesson is that if you are being teased by other kids, the other kids are right, so go out and fix whatever they’ve told you to so you can fit in. You hear that black kid in the corner, it’s going to be hard but you’re just going to have to turn yourself white…and gay dude, we know how much you love home economics class where you get to make your favorite dresses, but motherfucker you are going to have to join the fucking football team and stand a little straighter because that’s what Heidi Montag told us.
It’s really unfortunate that she doesn’t take her own advice about other aspects of her life, sure you call her Kate Hudson and she goes and gets implants, or a Dirty Jew with that big ‘ol Dirty Jew nose and she get her nose done, but for some reason no matter how useless I call her, how many times I laugh at her song, her career, her relationship, her show, you’d expect her to just put an end to it all by putting a gun to her head. I guess I am just not as relevant as the pretty girls in her middle school.
Either way, the highlight of this clip is how she says she doesn’t drink or do drugs twice in a matter of minutes, it’s one of those if you tell me enough times I’ll start to believe her bullshit, but that didn’t work when my wife told me she lost weight so I’d give her the potato chips and it’s not going to work now. There is no way you can live as Heidi Montag andd not be on drugs without hurting yourself.. It would seriously take me about 15 minutes of being Heidi Montag before jumping off the 7th story window of the Chateau Marmont and those 15 minutes don’t count because I’d be masturbating and playing with my fake tits and I’d bring that Spencer cunt down with me.
The View is porn to me, but that’s just because I can’t help but wonder whether Whoopi Goldberg’s big dick smells Elizabeth’s Republican Good Suburban girl pussy, or if Elizabeth’s Republican Good Suburban girl pussy smells like Whoopi Goldberg’s balls. It’s these mysteries of life that leave me fat on the couch confused about whether to put a shirt on to eat my can of spaghetti or not.
Today The View got a little more pornographic when Jenna Jameson showed up and ran her mouth off about how her new piece of shit movie about Zombie Strippers has anti-Bush political undertones, about how she stopped eating because she was stressed and got skin cancer from her tanning bed, a divorce, sold her company and other retarded bullshit that lead her to anorexia like a crystal meth addiction but lucky for us she’s on the road to recovery and will take over the mainstream….like she was Pamela Anderson or some shit…so watch out….
I don’t want to ruin it for you but the big highlight of the interview was when she opened up about being raised without a mother and by a dad who wasn’t ever around leading her to a life of porn, something we could have never guessed considering it’s the same fucking story of every fucking slut in the world. She’s just smart enough to market herself properly and make money while trying to fill the void from her daddy issue, while other sluts just end up with STDs and abusive relationships….So if sluts with daddy issues are reading this, you should take Jameson’s lead…..
Here are some Pics of Jenna at the Zombie Stripper Premiere Lookin’ Like She’s in Character and Ready to Take Over the Mainstream, Just As Soon as She Comes Back from the Dead and Looks Less Like a Bitch Who’s been Taken Loads on her Face for Decades and More Like a 15 Year Old Virgin…..
If you are feeling really fucking desperate and horny or if you re really fucking drunk, then you will appreciate this video of Molly having a practically non existent upskirt, because I think it’s safe to say that is the only kind of male attention this bitch gets. She is one of the few girls dressed like a catholic school girl who made me feel sick to my stomach and now bust all over my stomach and her disgustingness continues as she ages. I guess the good news for her is that someone somewhere found her funny enough to give her a career because we know she didn’t suck dick to get to the top because no one would want to admit to letting her go down on them by giving them work, so her being the funny ugly girl strategy worked better for her than it did for me, even though I look better in a pair of panties.