I have spent many nights with street whores, or what I like to call the “REAL DEALâ€?. Some of the more intense relationships in my life have been with prostitutes and that is not because I fear commitment or because I find STDs exciting, but because I like victims of society, it reminds me of how fucked up the world is, but more importantly of my life on the streets, feeding my dog banana peels and spending days jacked on crystal banging the useless filth most people are scared of. In my time, I have both learned a few tricks and met a few tricks, Elisha Cuthbert wasn’t one of them….

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Not all hookers are crack addicted victims of molestation. They aren’t all girls who work the street, willing to suck any stranger off for $20. Those are just the kind I like, but that is because the suffering in their eyes and the uncontrolable twitching gets me off. I hate wallet-fucking bitches, who don’t realize that they are whores, because they hold down good jobs, but only sleep with rich dudes, I hate high-class escorts who overcharge and think they are the prettiest thing to hit your bedsheets, but since you probably don’t own bed sheets, I can get back to the point of all this, which is that Carmen Electra, although a cocktease, is looking pretty fucking hot in these pictures.

Bonus Pics….

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Not all hookers are crack addicted victims of molestation. They aren’t all girls who work the street, willing to suck any stranger off for $20. Those are just the kind I like, but that is because the suffering in their eyes and the uncontrolable twitching gets me off. I hate wallet-fucking bitches, who don’t realize that they are whores, because they hold down good jobs, but only sleep with rich dudes, I hate high-class escorts who overcharge and think they are the prettiest thing to hit your bedsheets, but since you probably don’t own bed sheets, I can get back to the point of all this, which is that Carmen Electra, although a cocktease, is looking pretty fucking hot in these pictures.

Bonus Pics….

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All girls are hookers. Not because they reek of syphilis, or because they are sprawled out on the street corner looking for a piece of crack that may have fallen from their once tight fitting clothes. Addiction’s a bitch, but it is a great way to suppress the memories of being molested by that male figure in your life. You know, your teacher, uncle or if you’re lucky your father. Girls all love money. I never see a rich ugly guy with a fat bitch on his arm. The fat bitches that no one want are left for people like me, factory workers by day and internet celebrities at night. But I am not even a factory worker anymore, I just live off the slut’s disability checks. It’s some kind of survival of the fittest type shit. Speaking of survival, Sheryl Crow dated a gay man with one testicle. That’s the story I heard.

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All girls are hookers. Not because they reek of syphilis, or because they are sprawled out on the street corner looking for a piece of crack that may have fallen from their once tight fitting clothes. Addiction’s a bitch, but it is a great way to suppress the memories of being molested by that male figure in your life. You know, your teacher, uncle or if you’re lucky your father. Girls all love money. I never see a rich ugly guy with a fat bitch on his arm. The fat bitches that no one want are left for people like me, factory workers by day and internet celebrities at night. But I am not even a factory worker anymore, I just live off the slut’s disability checks. It’s some kind of survival of the fittest type shit. Speaking of survival, Sheryl Crow dated a gay man with one testicle. That’s the story I heard.

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I post links because that’s what you people seem to like. I surfed the internet all night to find these and I am pretty sure none of you fuckers will bother clicking them. I am okay with that. If you aren’t happy with my choices, be sure to send me hate mail, it makes me feel like everything that I do is worth the energy. I am supposed to be going away tomorrow with the family, but I am trying to set up updates. I am pretty useless when it comes to tech stuff so this may be the last post til monday.

I decided I need a writing team for times like this. If you are interested email me.

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When you are from a piece of shit home in Texas and you are first generation Mexican American, you usually grow up with very little luxury items. You don’t get too many pairs of Nike’s when dad works in lawn maintenance for some Mexican landscaping company. If you are a poor Mexican, you probably have never seen a pair of Nike’s in your fucking life, and if you do it was in the department store or on your friend’s drug dealing gang bangin’ dad. Point of the story is that now that Longoria’s got money, she’s rockin’ Nike’s because she can. To most people Nike’s are standard fare, to Mexicans like Longoria they are like a Luxury Yacht for her feet.

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When you are from a piece of shit home in Texas and you are first generation Mexican American, you usually grow up with very little luxury items. You don’t get too many pairs of Nike’s when dad works in lawn maintenance for some Mexican landscaping company. If you are a poor Mexican, you probably have never seen a pair of Nike’s in your fucking life, and if you do it was in the department store or on your friend’s drug dealing gang bangin’ dad. Point of the story is that now that Longoria’s got money, she’s rockin’ Nike’s because she can. To most people Nike’s are standard fare, to Mexicans like Longoria they are like a Luxury Yacht for her feet.

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I am all for a bitch having a life defined by the fame of her father. It never really pissed me off seeing kids of rich successful people running around on their daddy’s dime. I always wanted to get in good with them so that I could manipulate them into financing my lifestyle and taking me on vacations and to VIP rooms and shit. The closest I ever got to that was when I was hanging with the son of one of the guys in Pink Floyd who was here because he was tired of being a big deal in the UK. Either way, I became friends with him, hung out at his penthouse apartment and took him out. The only problem was that motherfucker was on a limited budget and wouldn’t ever buy me a fucking thing. I was spending more money on him that he was on me in efforts to get the big payout. It never came. All stories aside, it’s nice to see Nicole Richie working again, I am sure it was a pretty hard audition, considering this is daddy’s music video, or what I like to call an excuse to give his baby more than he already has.

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I am all for a bitch having a life defined by the fame of her father. It never really pissed me off seeing kids of rich successful people running around on their daddy’s dime. I always wanted to get in good with them so that I could manipulate them into financing my lifestyle and taking me on vacations and to VIP rooms and shit. The closest I ever got to that was when I was hanging with the son of one of the guys in Pink Floyd who was here because he was tired of being a big deal in the UK. Either way, I became friends with him, hung out at his penthouse apartment and took him out. The only problem was that motherfucker was on a limited budget and wouldn’t ever buy me a fucking thing. I was spending more money on him that he was on me in efforts to get the big payout. It never came. All stories aside, it’s nice to see Nicole Richie working again, I am sure it was a pretty hard audition, considering this is daddy’s music video, or what I like to call an excuse to give his baby more than he already has.

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