Victoria Silvstedt is an angel sprung onto us from heaven. Her class, breed and work ethic are things we should alla admire. Victoria Silvstedt is a natural beauty that few women can compete with and few men come close to. She is a talent in her craft and all these factors combined make her the stepWOMAN of the year. If Victoria Silvstedt was a painting, she would be a Dogs Playing Poker. If she was a song, she would be “Meatloaf – I would do anything for love”. If she was an alcoholic beverage, she would be sparkling wine. If she was a flower, she would be one freshly picked off a grave after a funeral. If she was a disease, she’d be Pancreatic Cancer, the expensive kind. If she was a car she’d be a Volvo, because she is Swedish and a Safe bet. If she was something you can buy at a drugstore, she’d be Depends. If she was a fruit, she’d be a Tomato. Either way, she is in my heart and I love her. We were almost sued by this glorious woman and her lawyer reads this site and asked me not to “slander” her anymore. This post was my first attempt at not slandering someone. How’d I do. Fuckers.

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I didn’t watch it…but you can do it for me. I have something against watching videos and it’s called a short attention span. I went to th doctor today and I have been diagnosed with Asthma. I am pretty sure that it’s really lung cancer, dude just doesn’t realize it anymore. I don’t expect you to care about my ailments, but I want you to know I went to a John Clese press conference. Dude was in Monty Python and Fawlty Towers, two shows I never watched. If you are wondering why I went, it’s because I heard there was free coffee. There wasn’t.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfahter.com

I guess there’s not real reason to sing off on each post. I am not going to delete it. Discuss.

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I don’t really have anything to say about this slag, because I am too lazy to IMDB her to find out who she is and these bikini pics are pretty weak and not really deserving of a post. I will post them anyway and we’ll leave it at that.

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I get shit on for ripping off other sites, when I don’t even get my pics, but people love to complain that I am not first on anything. I would like to say that of course I am not first on this shit. It is fucking summer and I am not hooked up with exclusive sources cuz I suck at life. I would also like to say that I had no computer the last 4 days, so even if I didn’t suck at life, I wouldn’t be able to post these pics. I am not explaining myself, I know I am the captain of a sinking ship, and I am okay with that. Almost as the time I offered two french whores with cleavage tattoos and who dressed like J-Lo and looked like Rosie O’Donnel a french fry while they sipped a Heineken in some dive bar i was in. When they pretended to not see me with the french fry, I went back with the ketchup. When they continued to pretend a dirty mexican wasn’t standing in front of them with a french fry in one hand and jar of ketchup in the other, I tell them that they look like they really like to eat french fries, they ignore me so I go on stage and sing Eternal Flame by the Bangles cuz that’s just how I role. Point of the story is that their is no point of the story. That was deep wasn’t it. I am a fucking philosopher. Now dis me for how slow I am on pics.

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Kid Rock is marrying Pam Anderson. That’s the story I heard. I can explain the logic behind this move if you want to hear it. Which you don’t because I have about 10 readers while other sites are rockin’ over 100,000 readers a day, I guess that makes me a failure, but I am going to tell you this Kid Rock theory because it’s fucking golden.

When a girl you are raw doggin’ gives you herpes, it’s in your best interest to stick it out with her, because it’s such a pain in the ass telling new girls about your herpes and they are never fully comfortable suckin’ on your dick, they’ll always hold back a bit and you don’t want the shit. Especially when you had a slut who got herpes in your back pocket. I guess the same goes of AIDS, HIV, Hepatitis and even HPV, but everyone’s got HPV….so I guess that one doesn’t count.

That means if you’ve fucked a dirty little ditch pig and slut gave you a lifelong rash…or a gift that keeps giving, marry her, that’s what Kid Rock is doing and Kid Rock is someone we should all be using as an example to live our lives by. Especially back in the dead midget make a wish foundation years. Now go fuck yourself.

More Pictures of Pamela Anderson:

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Kid Rock is marrying Pam Anderson. That’s the story I heard. I can explain the logic behind this move if you want to hear it. Which you don’t because I have about 10 readers while other sites are rockin’ over 100,000 readers a day, I guess that makes me a failure, but I am going to tell you this Kid Rock theory because it’s fucking golden.

When a girl you are raw doggin’ gives you herpes, it’s in your best interest to stick it out with her, because it’s such a pain in the ass telling new girls about your herpes and they are never fully comfortable suckin’ on your dick, they’ll always hold back a bit and you don’t want the shit. Especially when you had a slut who got herpes in your back pocket. I guess the same goes of AIDS, HIV, Hepatitis and even HPV, but everyone’s got HPV….so I guess that one doesn’t count.

That means if you’ve fucked a dirty little ditch pig and slut gave you a lifelong rash…or a gift that keeps giving, marry her, that’s what Kid Rock is doing and Kid Rock is someone we should all be using as an example to live our lives by. Especially back in the dead midget make a wish foundation years. Now go fuck yourself.

More Pictures of Pamela Anderson:

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I have been fighting with the fake Lohan all day. I don’t know if I brought that up today. I lost the response I sent her, but shit was fucking golden. This is the last reply she sent me:

From SKEEZ

hah wow, you’re a fucking cunt
this is me so fuck off, you really need a hobby oh wait you have one stalking me. do me a favor stop stalking me and trash talking me when you don’t know me, i’m not a fucking slut and my body is just fine hunny. no wonder a cunt like you dosn’t have a girlfriend or friends. i have nothing against filipinos nor am i racists and i find it cute that you are going to say shit about filipinos or any race for that matter, grow up cunt. don’t talk to me i didn’t ask for you to speak to me or start shit with me but before you start making accusations and saying shit about someone or people get your fucking facts straight.

All I said to her was that I knew she wasn’t the real Lohan and that she was a Filipino 14 year old. Anyway, I am posting this in the Sofia Vergara post because Mexican Bitches are the new Filipino’s when it comes to cleaning apartments/hotel rooms/ homes.

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I saw a couple of Black guys walking out of a Chinese restaurant today. One was on his cell phone. I heard him say that his name was T Little. He got into a 100,000 dollar mercedes. What do you think he does for a living?

I will give you a hint. We have no professional sports here. We have no famous black actors from here. We have no famous rappers from here. Maybe he’s a doctor.

While you think about it, you can look at pics of J-Love shopping for some food to feed her fat ass. Pig.

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I saw a couple of Black guys walking out of a Chinese restaurant today. One was on his cell phone. I heard him say that his name was T Little. He got into a 100,000 dollar mercedes. What do you think he does for a living?

I will give you a hint. We have no professional sports here. We have no famous black actors from here. We have no famous rappers from here. Maybe he’s a doctor.

While you think about it, you can look at pics of J-Love shopping for some food to feed her fat ass. Pig.

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I didn’t have the right software on this piece of shit computer to update today. But I have it now and I have decided to take on a new outlook on life. I am like a drug addict who had a drug overdose and has now decided to give his life over to the church. I am like a person who survived cancer who has thrown out their cigarettes forever. I am like a fat bitch who can’t get up the stairs and decides to stop eating the oreos and join some Richard Simon’s dance program to loose her gunt. I am like a deadbeat dad who is forgiven by his 20 year old son for the years of neglect. It’s new fucking beginnings and I have decided that I can either take two routes, the church or hell. I will let you know which one I go with.

In the meantime, here are some Aguilera pics that were out last night, but I couldn’t post them, cuz of the computer situation. I expect some of you to start dissing me on how slow and useless i am – NOW. That’s the story I heard. Motherfucker.

These Were The Pictures From Yesterday…

These are the pictures from Today…

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