I guess it’s nice to see Salma Hayek on the set of her new movie with a beard that is more full than anything I’ve ever been able to grow because I guess my testosterone levels don’t have shit on hers. I guess it’s some hormonal imbalance that comes with having a baby. I like to believe that she doesn’t even have a beard in these pictures and I just see one because subconsciously, I know her mangled vagina looks like a set of balls and her sex appeal, like 90 percent of moms out there is about as much as a ratty bearded man, but the rumor is that these are real and for some movie where she plays the bearded lady. This is her second role having facial hair, which is making me believe she’s being typecast because of her genetics, but according her to her gynecologist, this facial hair hasn’t got shit on the heat she’s packin’ in her pants.
I did my good deed for the year today. It’s actually the first good deed I’ve done in a long time because people are generally afraid of me and stay as far away from me as possible, but today I was the only one around and this woman with huge post-pregnancy tits was trying to get her baby up a flight of stairs and asked for my help. I never say no to a big set of tits despite the danger I was putting my near death self and her baby into so I grabbed the stroller and did my thing. She didn’t really appreciate when I asked if she breast fed but still politely answered yes because you don’t want to fuck with a homeless lookin’ dude holding onto your baby carriage. When I said that the baby was lucky was when she grabbed the carriage herself and finished the job, but I think it still counts and helping and I got me some fuckin’ good karma points which comes in handy when you spend your days being a cocksucker to everyone on the internet.
Here are my links….
Check Out a Bunch of Galleries of Sluty Party Chicks GO
It turns out that the forum is kinda a sausage party where there’s only 1 girl for ever 10 guys, but I don’t see that as a sausage party, I see it as a gangbang and despite the very gay part of having group sex with your friend, there’s at least a vagina to make it less gay than the times you jerked off to gay porn because regular porn bored you. The glass is always half full or some shit…here’s a glimpse into what’s going on there.
Forums are for losers and that’s why I have one. There’s constantly tons of action going on there thanks to the one dude who created 100 handles and talks to himself while uploading tons of shit for you to listen to, watch, get off to, or whatever the fuck you want to do with it. I figure I might as well showcase his hard work and hopefully find him a friend so that he can stop talking to himself and can start talking to other losers who like Forums….because just because you are a loser, doesn’t mean you need to be alone, the world is full of other losers and fat chicks who can link up with online and pretend you actually have friends..
Here’s some of the shit going down on the stepFORUM
I am dying of some kind of cold that I don’t really understand where it came from, but seems to be the story of my fucking life. I think living amongst filth and rotting garbage is just not good for me and the last 5 years, I’ve had more nasal issues than a ratty coke slut who’s been railing lines of blow cut with shards of glass. I don’t know what it is but my sinuses bleed, are constantly congested and leave me with a more nasal voice that a Jewish kid with asthma, allergies and a deviated septum. I can’t ever speak properly and sound like a cross between a gay dude and duck and I’ve gone to the doctor with no real solution, so I just live with it.
What’s happened with this disability, is that I have found beauty in girls with no sinus problems and who have clear breathing passages. It’s my fetish. It’s like the fat chick dating the skinny dude, the short guy dating the tall girl, the white guy dating the black girl. It’s the whole opposites attract shit and there’s no website offering that kind of porn…but here is Kelly Ripa doing a close enough job for me to fall in love with her clear her sinuses, that little slut makes me want to fuck my chronic sinusitis into her and by chronic sinusitis, I mean semen.
In less interesting news – Heidi Montag was on the show dressed like a cheap fucking horse-faced prostitute wearing her very own line clothing.
My stepLINKS were getting retardedly long – so I decided to split up the shit that was goin’ on in the forum and the shit that’s going on on other websites, they don’t belong together, like 2 men, it’s just unnatural. So I’ve decided to do this From the Forum post whenever I have enough shit going on in the Forum.
Everyone says I always have bad ideas, that I am redundant and a waste of motherfucking space, but today is the day I prove all those people wrong with this kind of genius, life changing idea for a post…
In case you hate Forums, because they aren’t Facebook or Myspace, they aren’t easy to navigate and they are for virgin losers with no friends, you’ll be surprised to find the good looking bunch of people who are already up on that shit and uploading tons of shit for your entertainment and shit. So check it out…
So I am at the grocery store buying my fat wife some chips because bitch is on some kind of diet that she pretends she saw on Oprah but is probably some kind of lie, because she’s been on it for 10 years and she’s fat as hell, so I guess it’s really just some kind of fat person diet which makes sense that she saw it on Oprah but that’s not the point.
So I run into my old neighbor’s daughter who I haven’t seen in years and she’s with some kind of lesbian now and she’s hanging with her lover and introduces to me as her lover, so I awkwardly slap the lover on the back and tell her that I could always tell she was a lesbian by the way she licked her ice cream….she just liked it too much but then again she was 4 and that’s when they gave me a dirty look and walked away.
Jodie Marsh Takes Off Layers of Sperm and Poses Without Make-Up GO
I guess it’s Friday, that’s what everyone’s telling me. I really have no concept of days since I just sit on the computer everyday and it all looks and feels the same but I guess that means I should take my getting drunk to the next level because I don’t plan on posting here tomorrow and can afford to wake up in the gutter in my own vomit.
I plan on sleeping, sexually harassing girls on the internet and possibly something else that I haven’t quite figured but will probably involve me sitting, since it’s my hobby. I know you don’t care about reading this and strippers are waiting to be paid ten dollars to let me put my magical typing hands all over their tits and that’s just what I am going to go do.
Speaking of Facebook, I am lookin’ for friends – Add me to Facebook GO
I have a feeling that this Forgetting Sarah Marshall shit is going to be big. They marketed it smart and tricked people into thinking that some guy was actually trying to get revenge on an ex no name actress by buying billboards, at least really stupid people fell for it. This is Mila Kunis at the premiere.
The thought of Macaulay Culkin getting up in this on the daily is a testament to how life sucks. My only explanation is that she used to rub up against the corner of her mattress when she was 12 watching his movies and meeting him was like a dream come true for her. That or dude’s got a huge dick and after a night of getting high together, because I remember Macaulay being some kind of addict, he introduced her to it.
I was at some Family Guy reading that someone gave me tickets to the other year. The entire cast was there, including Mila Kunis who I wanted to fuck then as much as I want to fuck her now and it was in some old theater. I remember Macaulay walking out and sitting in the crowd and I tried harassing him.
I started by screaming his name and everyone in the theater cheered, then I tried throwing random shit at him, I started with popcorn but he was about 10 rows ahead of me then I decided in a drunken rage to throw my can of coke I brought in while screaming “hey Culkin, I hear you like coke” and I missed. Shit ended up landing one some bitch and I got escorted out for my bad joke and disrupting something as important as the Family Guy staff party who were reading a fucking script to a crowd of virgins.
Point of my story is that I’ll never forgive him for ruining my night and now you can hate him too because he’s fuckin’ this.
My name is Jamie with Flynet Pictures, a photo agency located in Los Angeles, CA. We are writing you in concern to the blog drunkenstepfather.com that you host. We are asking you to shut them down immediately. We are having a continuous problem with them stealing our images on their site. They were hosted through another site before you,which did have them shut down for the illegal activity, but now that you are their new host , we are letting you know, you will be responsible for all legal fees and the amount due for this blog if you choose to remain there host. We have sent them repeated offers to work a deal out and they have refused and choose to continue using our images illegally , which is costing us money.
If you have any further questions, feel free to contact Nicolas at 323-833-7042 or nicolas@flynetpictures.com.
So now the fuckers are trying to shut me down because they claim I steal their images. The reality is that this site makes no money, I do commentary to pictures I find in forums and they never explicitly say who they belong to so I just post them. Whenever I am asked to take them down, I do immediately, even without proof of whether they actually belong to who they say they belong to because I don’t want problems. But they just keep bringing problems and now they’ve gone to my host to shut me down. I don’t know if they are going to or not, because that email is obviously not legally sound, like the time I emailed an ex girlfriend and asked her to start paying me child support because I used to suck her tit like I was her child and if she didn’t comply in 24 hours she’d be liable, but you never know. So I am posting this in the event that I get shut down, you’ll know who did it and you’ll know who to blame…..the real thief in all this is the paparazzi profiting off pictures of other people who they wrongfully and illegally take, or at least illegal enough to get me arrested the time I followed this hot bartender around for a week, snapping off pics of her in hopes of getting one worth jerking off to…