In the movie cocktail, my new reference point for life, all the girls are rockin’ one-piece bathing suits, except for Tom Cruise’s buddy’s wife, who rocks the white thong bikini. That slut. It makes me remember a time before the bikini wax, where bitches had pubes growing halfway down their thighs. Lohan doesn’t seem to have that problem but she is nicely bruised up. I was buying a squash the other day at the grocery story and saw some dirtbag show up in a pair of bootyshorts and a halter top. Her body was slammin, her face was mangled and abused and her legs were nice and bruised. She smelled like stale cigarettes and booze and it was pretty obvious that she was a stripper, Lohan may not be a stripper, but she definitely looks like one.

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I am watching the movie Cocktail, I rented it to cheer me up and it’s done the opposite. I remember watching it while drunk in the 80s thinking how fucking cool being a resort bartender would be, all the horny tourist bitches, the booze, the money, the beach and the goodtimes, but being Mexican meant I would only get work cleaning toilets and doing lawn maintenance. This movie is all about Tom Cruise knocking up some rich girl on the beach and falling in love with her and shit. I didn’t realize it was this dramatic. My favorite part is when his friend kills himself, the only problem is that he doesn’t bring the rest of the cast down with him. I was told that Jack’s daughter is the blond one. She is hot for a 15 year old. I think she’s the kind of girl you would want to get in tight with right now, she is a longterm investment, because she’s pretty much has some pretty good things comin her way.

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I am watching the movie Cocktail, I rented it to cheer me up and it’s done the opposite. I remember watching it while drunk in the 80s thinking how fucking cool being a resort bartender would be, all the horny tourist bitches, the booze, the money, the beach and the goodtimes, but being Mexican meant I would only get work cleaning toilets and doing lawn maintenance. This movie is all about Tom Cruise knocking up some rich girl on the beach and falling in love with her and shit. I didn’t realize it was this dramatic. My favorite part is when his friend kills himself, the only problem is that he doesn’t bring the rest of the cast down with him. I was told that Jack’s daughter is the blond one. She is hot for a 15 year old. I think she’s the kind of girl you would want to get in tight with right now, she is a longterm investment, because she’s pretty much has some pretty good things comin her way.

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I told a friend of mine yesterday that the first sign of HIV infection is when you get a cold/flu after banging someone raw dog. My friend was feeling like shit and I am an asshole who likes freaking people out. It worked and he starts flipping the fuck out and I keep up the AIDS jokes saying shit like in 10 years everyone will have AIDs and those people will all idolize you for being in the game since ’06. I kept going and needless to say he is no longer my friend.

I would say a big reason everyone who is 25 and under fears AIDS is because of KIDS where this slag Chloe Sevigny already infected, lets Casper slam her raw dog. I know she was drugged, but point is that she shouldn’t have been wearing a skirt. By the looks of her, it seems like she really did get hivies on the set. It’s been 10 or 11 years and she is still with the same boyfriend, which is what happens when you have HIV, it’s kinda hard to venture out and find new cunt. Here are pics of her doing some moderate exercise, it is probably good for her immune system.

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These pictures appeared in my inbox today and considering I get about 1 or less emails a day, I decided to open it. They are from some budget pimp and ho party and they had Jello wrestling, something really fucking representative of what pimps and hoes do. It would be a lot more appropriate if they had a meth smokin’ contest or maybe a 5 dollar blowjob hour or maybe a “give the white man HIV” or whatever else it is that whores do. The last time I saw a crackwhore was about 2 months ago and bitch was convulsing on the corner of the street. There was a crowd around her, the ambulances hadn’t quite made it yet, and bitch’s grey scabby cunt was exposed. It was a pretty traumatizing experience because all i wanted to do was get down there with her and fuck her with my mouth.

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She is a nobody, but she is more important than I am in Hollywood. The reason she is more important than me may be because of her father, her trust fund, the people she hangs with, the people she slams, the fact that she is more talented and no matter what the reason is, she is important enough to have the paparazzi chase her and important enough for people like me to post about her. That really isn’t saying all that much, she is ugly but I always say that I have low standards. I was just at the doctor again today and they told me they need to do a biopsy on a lump they found. I may have cancer, so what better way to let my reader (you) know than by posting some pictures of a useless slag, one I consider a canerous lump on whatever city she is in.

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She is a nobody, but she is more important than I am in Hollywood. The reason she is more important than me may be because of her father, her trust fund, the people she hangs with, the people she slams, the fact that she is more talented and no matter what the reason is, she is important enough to have the paparazzi chase her and important enough for people like me to post about her. That really isn’t saying all that much, she is ugly but I always say that I have low standards. I was just at the doctor again today and they told me they need to do a biopsy on a lump they found. I may have cancer, so what better way to let my reader (you) know than by posting some pictures of a useless slag, one I consider a canerous lump on whatever city she is in.

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The server is down…this is a prime example of the man trying to bring me down. It’s a pretty good strategy because in this downtime I realized that this site is pretty much all I’ve got…..I should be back up soon… So come back for sexy updates later.

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Who is this bitch? All I know is that she is from Mexico and she’s drinking a Starbucks drink. I find it insane that I am sitting next to 10 empty Starbucks “GRANDE” sized cups, with the cardboard sleeves still on, because I drink this shit too. I drink it because I haven’t paid for a Latte since my lap top was stolen from them last week and my goal is to get 3000 dollars of lattes from them so that I fell like I break even. It’s about $5 per latte, so I am looking at 600 Lattes. I was thinking it’d be funny to have a coffee drinking competition to the death. Line up 2 dudes and a truckload of coffee, making them do shots until one of them drops dead. You may be there for a long time waiting but it would make for a good viral video and sometimes content is worth dying for. If I was a celebrity I wouldn’t eat my meals at McDonalds, I wouldn’t drink my coffee from Starbucks, I wouldn’t get my hair did at Top Cuts, I wouldn’t buy my clothes at TJ Maxx, I wouldn’t buy my groceries at price chopper, there are certain things celebrities need to do to maintain their exclusive image. Vanessa Minillo didn’t get that email, but I can only assume that only real celebrities were on the mailing list, but I am sure she makes amazing tortillas. Cuddles.

I think it’s so “common-folk” of people with money to grab coffee from the local chain shop, you’d think they’d have coffee experts brewing exclusive costa rican beans in their

Check out the Girls of Starbucks Naked

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