The worst weekend of the year is here for people in Montreal. It is Grand Prix and a whole lot of trashy fucking European Chachi motherfuckers are going to be polluting my life…. The hookers are gonna be more expensive, the shitty stripclubs that are normally empty are gonna be packed with tourists I can’t […]

I just pissed all over my shirt and pants in a public bathroom an hour away from home and I’m not the keep so hydrated and healthy by drinking my 9 glasses of water all day at the office to stay fueled for my hot yoga class and I’m not the haven’t had more than […]

I think I had a mild heart attack. I got my hands on an extra large pizza and ate the whole thing. Probably not the best idea when you’re on the verge of death, but I like to think I was just eating my feelings. I didn’t take myself to the hospital, I figure I’ll […]

It’s the long weekend. Fuck making you read nonsense and encourage you to get out there and do something instead. I know as a socially awkward weirdo, life away from your computer is scary, cold and lonely, but seriously motherfucker, you should not be online reading my site, get a hobby….take up bird watching…and by […]

I have been trying to convince Lohan to use me as a safehouse because I’m in Canada and flying back to the USA is just gonna get her locked up, but then I realized she’s all fucking Hollywood and does this shit for attention on purpose, and that my campaigning is pretty half assed, considering […]

I may have no business writing a site according to this big breasted girl who wrote me this beautiful hate mail….But luckily big breasted girls don’t have all the fucking answers and aren’t always right, but they do have big breasts, which is enough to get by in life. Here is the hate mail… I […]

I write about nothing all day….Insignificant people, insignificant stories, and I make my site relevant by linking to sites who actually do things proper. So here are some actual news and interest pieces going on around the internet from people who do this internet thing far better than me. I’m not down on myself, I […]