Umlike Harrision Ford, I don’t crash planes…but I do have sex with girls who look and act like private plane crashes…that’s the more appropriate way to address a trainwreck of a sugar baby, not that I get sugar babies, I get the bootleg, low grade sugar babies looking for instagram followers because the site is […]

The good thing about being broke as fuck, you know resorting to stealing 20 dollars from my wife’s purse to drink, is that I know when I get with girls, they aren’t opportunists trying to gold dig or get ahead…they are with me for me…I mean that or because they are passed out in the […]

So some fat chick, I’m talking hugely fucking fat chick, almost fatter than my wife, which is pretty fucking fat….chick….matched me on Tinder, because I right swipe everyone. Having no standards in anything I do leads me to a place where I take what I can get, but still judge the fuck out of it […]

A photo posted by www.drunkenstepfather.com (@drunkenstepfatherdotcom) on Feb 10, 2015 at 2:50pm PST I know it isn’t morning, but when you’re an alcoholic who sleeps all day, when not at celebrity events with Taylor Swift and Hozier….Katy Perry and Diplo…Ed Sheeran and Sam Smith…and god knows who the fuck else, open bar has a tendency […]

The worst thing about sexting is when you get a sexting nazi who decides that it is degrading to women to ask for spread asshole pics…leading to a negotiating process that leads to no spread asshole pics…but a lot of messages of nonsense involving, but not limited to, being called a creepy pervert…which in the […]

The failed sext of the day has been: “Feed me with your pussy, like you would feed a starving African baby you see in a back alley on your African Safari vacation you’ve been saving up for the last 3 years and finally got to take.”….you can interchange African Safaris with pretty much any situation […]