I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2013

04

Jun

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

Turns out my wife is a whole lot less fun than porn chicks She’s also smells worse, is substantially uglier, but equally broken making me question this whole thing.

All it takes is porn conventions to make me fall in love with the idea of escaping this prison.

Just as soon as I get off the couch.

Sofia Vergara for Machete Kills
GO

Catherine Zeta Jones Doesn’t Have HPV
GO

National Anthem – Fail
GO

Llama Gets Tasered By a Cop
GO

Hot Girl Named Jen Selter in Yoga Pants
GO

The Playground Fail Compilation
GO

Brazil Bikini Girl’s Butt Workout
GO

Dog VS Inner Tube
GO

Pam Anderson in Vogue Freaks Me Out…
GO

Stuffed Raccoon Spooks Cat
GO

Hot Girls You’ll Be a Little Afraid Of…
GO

A Juggling Otter
GO

Kelly Kelly Bikini Tweets….
GO

Angelina Jolie’s New Tits
GO

The Highlight of EXXXOTICA For me was the Cam Girls
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2013

03

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day


I am sad to be leaving all my new friends in florida…from old leathery skinned fake tithes ladies…to cam girls and porn chicks who like being electrocuted. I thought I would never say that. Florida, up until this weekend has always been a horrible nightmare to me.

Until we meet again motherfuckers….now back to hell real life, with a fat wife, I am finally motivated to escape from…

Stay tuned, we may have to kill her off in this story and go mental, but I am generally too lazy to get off the couch…but at least thinking about it makes it feel like it is going happened. Kinda like staring at chicks and imagining fucking them is almost as good because there’s no lawsuit.

Here are some links…

More Joanna Krupa Topless
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Kris Jenner Has a New Girl to Pimp Out Cuz Kanye Has Girl Making Sperm
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Big Busty as Fuck Girls
GO

Today in Fail Compilations
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Ashley Tisdale in Daisy Dukes
GO

No Breasts Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt at the World War Z Premiere
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There’s a Kate Moss Hologram and She’s Not Even Dead Yet
GO

TOday in Underboobs
GO

Elsa Pataky Tits in Romasanta
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Her Name is Ashley James and these are her Panties
GO

Father and 2 Year Old Playing Beatles…
GO

Haters May Call Taylor a Slut Who Gets Naked in Pics…I call her Lovely.
GO

Cameron Diaz is Feeding her Boyfriend…
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Cam With Her Webcams…..
GO

Hey Girls – Bring In the Backs
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Sophie Turner Tweets Her Ass
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J.Lo is Cheating on her Tween Lover with Pitbull
GO

Amanda Bynes Former Co-Stars are Worried About Her – Because it Gets Them in the News – Ride The Wave Motherfucker.
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Lindsay Lohan Rehab Update!
GO

Pauley Perrette Pokies!
GO

Katie Banks Masked and Busty as Fuck
GO

Blogger Shows Us Her Tits
GO

Tap Dancing Seagull
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Hot Nude Model Showing her Vagina
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Amazing Video of a Dude Calling a Girl a Hoe Before Slapping Her to the Ground – WTF
GO

Irina Shayk Hiding from the Paparazzi
GO

This Nude Model has Awesome Tits
GO

The 20 Hottest Photos of Isabela Soncini
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Pug Video of the Day
GO

This is One Hot Slut
GO

College Post Game Silliness
GO

What Girls Say Vs What Girls Mean – Topless
GO

Julianne Moore Pantsless for Madame Figaro
GO

So Many Bikinis
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Fall in Love With Hot Free Cam Girls….I Know I Did – Dusty Destin…
GO

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From stepSMUT!! NSFW!
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Pre-Mature Ejaculation Porn is the Funniest
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Weird as Fuck African Gang Bang Fesitval
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Some Cam Girl’s Vagina Show
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Cute Skinny Girl Gets Fucked
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Today in Fisting
GO

Dude Wanking on Unwilling Women is Hilarious
GO

Even When Your Dick Does Work, Fucking a Girl Til She Cums with a Vibe is Awesome….
GO

Cam Girls are People Too…People I Like to Masturbate To….
GO

My New favorite Thing Before Bed -> PHONE SEX!
GO

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Girls Hate Your Balding Hair – That’s Why You Don’t Get Laid – Fix It…
GO

I love Teen Mom Farrah…..
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2013

03

Jun

Jennifer Lawrence on Set, In a Thong, In Montreal of the Day

I am the worst celebrity blogger, not only am I not recognized by the mainstream media as a celebrity blogger, but I am also located in Canada, so far away from the celebrities, until today, when I found out that Jennifer Lawrence has been in town filming X-Men, and has probably been in town the last 3 months filming X-Men, and I haven’t had the slightest idea since I don’t leave my house, when you’d think this would be a huge deal for a dude from canada with a celebrity blog. Like I’d be out there walking the streets looking for her, calling her name, hoping to bump into her….because it’s not a very big city…but I don’t leave my house for anything but TEEN MOM FARRAH . That’s gotta change, but why bother, when the paparazzi are snapping off fucking peeping tom thong shots of her…I can just watch from the comfort of my own soiled matters, mouldy, basement of hell. There’s less chance of being arrested this way, cuz you know Jennifer Lawrence isn’t down with this Jesus in ways that would involve her willingly letting me singing her love songs and holding her hand and gazing in her eyes as we plan our future.


TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence

2013

03

Jun

Emily Ratajkowski Naked for my Friend Chris Heads of the Day

I have been friends with a very solid photographer named CHRIS HEADS since what feels like the 90s, but was probably back in 2006 on Myspace…

He has since deleted me from his social media, so apparently we aren’t friends, which would explain why he hasn’t shot anything for DrunkenStepfather.com exclusively, but what he doesn’t know, is any picture of Emily Ratajkowski is for me, because I love her, and print them off, and wallpaper my one room basement apartment in them, so that I am in a room full of Emily, something that is as consuming as the real thing as I can get while plotting our flash mob proposal, and first wedding dance, just as soon as she responds to all the love letters I’ve been sending her, seal with my semen…

What we can learn from this shoot is that Smoking is bad…but Emily Ratatatatatatakowski is so good.

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski|NSFW

2013

03

Jun

Paris Hilton Panty Flash of the Day

I thought I would never say this, but thank God for the Panties….

I’ve seen Paris Hilton’s vagina in a variety of ways over the years. From sex tape, to short skirts and no panties while getting out of low cars for the paparazzi, because she’s just the kind of people who wants to show people her panty meat. But I guess she’s either grown up, matured and realized it’s ok to wear panties, you can flash them just as easy and the blogs will still post them. That or she’s’ in the midst of a herpes outbreak and dripping all over the place all blistered up and the panties are being used as a shield for her to not humiliate herself and/or to hold in the topical ointment in place..

Here are some pics of her posing in her bikini….for herself…because she’s the only one who cares, I mean her and the guy gold digging her hard enough to be the next K-Fed, hotel stays around the world for free and a billionaire lifestyle, make a bitch more tolerable….

For the record, I don’t hate her as much as I used to. I think she’s a lovely delicate flower sent from hell.

Posted in:Paris Hilton

2013

03

Jun

Bregje Heinen for July’s GQ UK of the Day


Bregje Heinen may have a horrible sounding name in any language, even if it means something romantic in her native dutch, pronouncing it sounds like the food poisoning I had from eating South Florida asian food cooked by a cuban…but that doesn’t make her any less lovely,

Not that names matter, I mean I generally don’t know the name of girls I fuck, let alone the names of girls I look at pictures in bikinis for GQ UK July Edition, especially when they look like this.

I mean if Bregje was a fat chick in soiled sweatpants greasy hands from all the fries, with chocolate on her face, Bregje, would be a disgusting name that we could all laugh at, but when they look like this Bregje, she could be named anything…but I’d prefer if she was just naked.

Posted in:Bregje Heinen

2013

03

Jun

Bar Refaeli in a Bikini for her Birthday of the Day


Bar Refaeli has falling off. Here she is celebrating her birthday for social media looking like she’s another year older, because not all girls are made equally and that applies to models to.

You see, there are some, like Cindy Crawford and Helena Christensen who just rock through their 50s, and still have that look that can stop a motherfucker in their tracks, thinking to themselves, what the fuck, they really make women like this, I thought it was a lie…

While there are others, like Bar Refaeli, who had a good run, made good money, but it’s time to quit the gym, take on the hard drinking, eating and cocaine, because in Israel, she’ll always been Bar Refaeli, even when she turns into an old, fat Jewish Bubby.

The good news, if you care about Bar Refaeli and her A-List hooking, is that despite looking a little soft in the mid-line, she’s still Bar Refaeli, and has always been overhyped and a little oversized, so these bikini pics, probably won’t offend you as much as they offend me.

I guess I have high expectations for Bikini models I don’t pay to model bikinis, but sit on the side lines and judge in their bikinis, cuz being on the beach all day yesterday, I realize, there’s girls who aren’t models, with better bodies than the models you all lust after. Explain that.

Posted in:Bar Refaeli

2013

03

Jun

Noemie Lenoir Topless Performance of the Day


Her name is Noemie Lenoir, which in English translates to Noemie The Black, pretty racist.

She’s from the ghetto of Paris, she’s 33 and was a topless model in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit, those perverts, and a lingerie model for Victoria’s Secret.

She’s not an actual stripper, she’s just pretending to be one for a paying job.

But she is amazing….

Yes. Drunkenstepfather is officially the new Wikipedia. The Wikipedia of model tits on their quest to do more challenging topless work…..that I am into.

Posted in:Noemie Lenoir|NSFW

2013

03

Jun

Constance Jablonski for H&M Lingerie of the day


I guess when Victoria’s Secret tests out a model to walk their runway show and doesn’t end up hiring them for campaigns or catalogs like they are Candice Swanepoel, it’s either because the model isn’t good enough for their requirements, or not desperate enough to get the work, take a pay cut, because you know the Victoria’s Secret girls, despite all the exposure they get from Victoria’s Secret marketing, are not as well paid as all the fashion models who book ALL the major campaigns, and not just one mid-range, Walmart quality, sweatshop made, middle-american underwear company. That’s why Victoria’s Secret hires all these chicks from the third world, they like the exposure and the Green Card, hoping to use it as a stepping stone, not unlike your Filipino cleaning lady, except maybe 3 feet taller ad more luxurious.

That said, she’s working for the competition, who probably pay more and are probably a bigger deal to work with than Victoria’s Secret, despite what you probably think, and I think she looks tasty as fuck, even if I prefer WHEN SHE MODELS HER NIPPLES

Posted in:Constance Jablonski

2013

03

Jun

Miranda Kerr is Spilling Out of a Dress this Campaign of the Day


I don’t know what this campaign is for because I don’t fucking care, it doesn’t fucking matter, it is not like I am going to buy their stupid products for me or my wife, if they are paying a bitch 25,000 dollars a day or more to be on set for some garbage ad, I figure they are probably some overpriced shit you can probably buy a variation of at the local Dollar Tree, for a dollar. I am just into it for the tits!! The mom tits spilling all over the place. They are good.

Posted in:Miranda Kerr