I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

13

Dec

I am – Michelle Trachtenberg Lookin’ Pregnant of the Day

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It looks like Michelle Trachtenberg has just got on the Alba-train, and I don’t mean jumping fences to get back into Mexico, to visit Alba’s grandmother, I mean getting knocked the fuck up.

Here are pictures of her in her maternity wear at some event yesterday. It’s safe to say this generation doesn’t believe in safe-sex, I blame the media, they all think AIDS is for the gays and the Africans, and if you do get it you can live forever. Thanks Magic Johnson.


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Posted in:Unsorted

2007

13

Dec

I am – Paz Vega Swarovski Crystals for Elle of the Day

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I don’t know who Paz Vega is, but that’s not too surprising, because I don’t even know who I am anymore. I am just talking shit, I’m the best website on the internet nobody reads, and this bitch is the best Spanish slut with long legs no one cares about.

She did some Elle Magazine photoshoot with Swarovski crystals glued to her, because this is some expensive and luxurious version of body painting, it doesn’t really get as exciting as a college spring break party body painting, but that’s mainly because no one’s gettin’ herpes, and herpes are really the future,

Herpes are the future because all these man-hating lesbian feminists who write Women with a “y”, are on some independent “womyn” kick that leads them to being sluts, but empowered sluts, who don’t want to be called sluts, even they have multiple sexual partners and are sluts. All because when men do it they are considered “studs” and it’s seen as a positive and that’s unfair to a feminist, so the more partners they rack up, the more they think that they are proving a point, because being a feminist is this stamp of approval that they can be loose in the hips. When the reality is that their genitals are the only casualty of this war, but I guess herpes is a small price to pay in doing their part to win this feminist fight on penis. Send nudes, it’ll make you feel better.


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Posted in:Elle|Paz Vega|Unsorted

2007

13

Dec

I am – Karolina Kurkova’s Victoria’s Secret Photoshoot of the Day

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So model Karolina Kurkova is rockin’ out in St Barths or some other Caribbean Island shooting some Victoria’s Secret catalog bullshit, reminding girls everywhere that their lives are shitty compared to hers, because she gets to sit around and look pretty while getting overpaid in exotic places, only to become one of the girls in the catalog dudes jerk off to.

Unfortunately, as a low budget, piece of shit website that I am, I couldn’t get the pictures of her actually lookin’ hot in underwear. Instead, I got these pictures of her in a dress with an open back, wearing a bra that she shouldn’t be wearing, lookin’ like a middle aged woman at a wedding ceremony after one too many drinks, or the fat girl on Prom night and I know that you’re into that.


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Posted in:Unsorted

2007

13

Dec

I am – Katherine Heigl in a Sports Bra and Stupid Shorts of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Katherine Heigl dressed like a lesbian gym teacher who is training to run a marathon or some shit, and you just ran into her at the grocery store on a Saturday after her workout and you feel awkward because she’s normally wearing a pair of sweats and a polo shirt with a whistle around her neck, and now you’ll have to face her on Monday, knowing you saw her in a sports bra and ill fitting shorts, lookin’ like a sloppy middle aged woman, and you liked it.

I fuckin’ hate sports bras. I don’t know why, it could be because of the way shit hides breast potential, but I think it’s also got something to do with hating the thought of girls doing sports. I am more into girls lookin’ pretty. The second I see them on the Rugby Team, or the Football Team, or the Basketball team, my brain automatically makes them grow a penis. The few sports I’ll watch girls take part in are tennis, because of the orgasm sounds, figure skating, because of the upskirt shit, gymnastics because of the 12 year old lookin’ bodies in leotards and beach volleyball because of the bikinis.

Either way, here’s Katherine Heigl in her stupid shorts and a sports bra.


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Posted in:Unsorted

2007

13

Dec

I am – Aly & AJ Michalka Incest Fantasy of the Day

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Here are some pictures of sisters Aly & AJ Michalka leaving somewhere together. I always thought these girls were twins, because I’ve never put too much energy into learning their story, but being twins was a good thing, it made them a lot hotter to me, because I’ve always had this theory that twins having sex with each other isn’t really incest, because they can’t get each other pregnant, which is the same reason banging your sister with a condom isn’t incest, but it is pretty dirty, because twins pretty much the same DNA and that means they are the same fuckin’ person, so it’s just masturbation, hot lesbionic masturbation, while you banging your sister is just desperate and awkward, because she’s the only girl who talks to you…

Either way, I went to a strip club once and linked up with a set of twins who were working together because they saw the Double Mint commercial and realized that if they worked together and charged a premium to double the pleasure and double the fun, they’d make double the money than working alone. I went in thinking I’d be getting a lesbian show from sisters, because that’s what they led me to believe, but instead they just cockteased and never actually touched each other, despite me pitching my twins having sex is just like jerking off theory. They ended up charging me $50 and I left a poor, unsatisfied man, with a poor, unsatisfied twin fantasy I didn’t get to live out. But at least I got to stock up on food from the free buffet to cut my loses, but shoving as much of it as I could down by elastic bottomed sweat pants.

Aly & AJ Michalka are not twins, they are 2 years apart, but I’d still watch them fuck each other, but that’s just because I am a pervert. I don’t expect it to happen anytime soon, because they are Christians, but we all know what happens to Christians when they realize their parent’s way isn’t the best way because the bible oppresses them from having fun and girls just wanna have fun, at least that’s what the radio once told me.

The one on the left is already giving us the finger. I wonder how Jesus would feel about that kind of behavior, because you know that giving the finger is the gateway activity to taking it up the ass from multiple men in a back alley. Slut.


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Posted in:AJ Michalka|Aly Michalka|Unsorted

2007

13

Dec

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I went to the hospital, not because I was sick, but to point at laugh at the terminally ill to feel better about myself. I’m just joking but I did go to the hospital to ask terminally ill patients if I could borrow 100 dollars, since they don’t have any use for it. I’m just joking, but I did go to the AIDS ward dressed like a conservative bible thumping motherfucker and asked the dudes if that night of debauchery with their bum was worth it now that they can reflect on it from the hospital bed and that if they had chosen the christian way they’d probably be having dinner with his wife and kids right now. I am just joking, I was too lazy to leave the house today and dying isn’t funny and AIDS is an African problem not a gay problem, but if I any of you are looking for a pretty depressing day that will make you feel better about your shitty life, or a great first date activity, feel free to use my hospital idea.

Here are my links:

Here’s a Hot Skinny Chick for You
GO

Stream The DVD – CRIMINALS GONE WILD – Following Real Life Crack Addicts Being Addicts. It’s an Hour Long and Good Fuckin’ Times
GO

Celebrity Sex Tapes From the Future
GO

Watch this Dude Punch Randoms in the Face While Interviewing Them
GO

The Girls on the Bad Girls Club are Fuckin Trash and I Love Them
GO

These are the First Alba Pics Since Announcing She’s a Knocked Up Slut
GO

Some Nicolette Sheridan Hard Nipple Pictures
GO

Some Salma Hayek Post Pregnancy Pics
GO

Tony Parker Cheated on Eva Longoria With Some French Model Named Alexandra Paressant Because She is Hotter than Eva Longoria…
GO

More Mischa Modeling Pictures because She’s a Model Now
GO

Heidi Montag Singing for the Paparazzi Like an Asshole Promoting Her Net Album
GO

Tyra Banks Thinks Britney Should Kill Herself….
GO

Here’s Some Jailbait of the Day
GO

Vide Guerra Has a Hot Shoot for some Photographer Named Felix Natal Jr. Video
GO

Some Gangster Got Shot by his 2 Year Old
GO

Some Chicks With No Bras On In Tank Tops
GO

Some Squirting With Massive Distance
GO

Fergie Hangs With Brandon Davis
GO

The Smallest Handgun in the World Has Some Kick
GO

Are These Tits Fake or Natural?
GO

Some Dude Lights a Stack of Matches in his Homie’s Ass, I Can Only Assume It’s Some Strategy to Kill the Aids before Gettin’ Busy
GO

Listen To Janet Jackson’s New Song
GO

Some Lesbian Sleeping With Her Boyfriend
GO

Rumer Willis Got a Weave and Still Looks Like a Man….
GO

A Bunch Of Lesbians Having Strap-On Sex for My Lesbian Readers
GO

Here’s Some Blonde Chick Named Michelle Lookin’ Like She’s Made of Plastic at Least Like Her Tits are Made of Plastic
GO

Some Molecules fuckin’ Sell Hair Gel
GO

Have You Scene These Heather Graham Taking It Hard From Behind Video From Some Movie That’s Coming Out on DVD Soon?
GO

When Will Amy Winehouse Die
GO

This is a Forum for Girls With Implants and If You Look Hard Enough, You May Find Before and After Pics
GO

How To Handle a Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Here’s Another Top 10 List of the Hottest Movie Sex Scenes
GO

Here’s a Good Job that Suits Your Lazy Lifestyle
GO

Watch the Drunk Crawl Video
GO

From Photobucket:

Some Girl Posning Topless, Naked and In Underwear for You
GO

Some Nasty Vagina Shot
GO

Some Chicks Pictures of Her Breast Reduced Tits with Scars
GO

Dumpy Ass With Big Tits You’d Fuck
GO

Some Black Chick Posing in LIngerie
GO

Some Loser Puts Pics in His Photobucket To Trick Us Into Thinking He’s Not a Loser….
GO

Young Teen Tits on Cellphone Pics
GO

Watch Girls in Action…..Or Find The Best Places to Find Chicks in Action…
GO

This Spray Will Get You Laid
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Get Pussy Tonight!
GO

Posted in:Unsorted

2007

12

Dec

I am – RIP Ike Turner of the Day

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So in the wake off all the lesbian haters who have started coming to the site and emailing me rude man hating comments, this post is for you. You’ll be happy to know that an innovator in the wife-beating movement has passed away today. It took a while for it to happen, but now you’ve got what you prayed for, murderer.

For the rest of us, Ike Turner, a man who knew a woman’s place in the world has sadly passed away. We’ve lost a man who could really push the envelop and cultivate a woman’s talent and sexuality to lure in international success. He made himself rich while keeping her in-line, because let’s face it, without Ike to police her behavior, there’d be no Tina Turner.

You all may be blinded by the over-glamorized version of their story from the Hollywood version, but none of us know what really went on, or what Tina did to deserve what she got, what we do know is that it was probably worth taking, because look at her now. Without Ike, there’d never be a movie about them, she’d never be one of the biggest acts in show biz, she’d probably be singing in the local piano bar for free 2 nights a week, while showing off those legs while serving plates at the local diner.

What it comes down to, is that if he was such a bad guy, and if Tina actually hated the motherfucker for being such a bad guy, and if she didn’t feel she owed her life and career to him, would she still use his last name…..so you can all hate, but me and Tina know what’s up. You’re just blinded by your lesbian feminist women studies bullshit. Cuddles.

Rest in Peace, Motherfucker.


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Posted in:Dead|Ike Turner|Unsorted

2007

12

Dec

I am – Megan Fox Nipple Slip of the Day

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I understand why virgin motherfuckers and dudes who like science fiction and collecting action figures think that Megan Fox is the hottest piece of ass out there, it’s because she’s in Transformers, and their Transformers were their only friends growing up.

Here are her nipples for the first time, because I know you feel like you have some kind of relationship with her, when in reality you’ve just been jerking off to High-Res Internet pics of her for the last year, but when you’re always alone, I guess it’s hard to tell the difference. Cuddles.


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Posted in:Unsorted

2007

12

Dec

I am – Mandy Moore’s Fat Legs Hiding of the Day

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Everyone disses Britney about the way she’s living, but I know that she’s doing exactly what I wanted her to be doing when I used to watch her cocktease the world when she was a teenager. I’m talking showing off her cunt, getting fucked up, acting insane and all that shit.

The reality is that the biggest disappointment in that era of poptarts is Mandy Moore. Watch this video and tell me what you’d want to see her doing in 10 years.

Now, realize that you’ve never seen her vagina and that’s a good thing, because lookin’ at these pictures you’ll see that she’s some average looking girl at best. She’s got some Carnie Wilson shit going on and even she realizes it and tries to covers her pudgy fuckin’ face from the cameras. She is like one of those hot highschool girls with a bright shiny life ahead of her, who looked like she was skinny and had it going on before fully groin into herself and by grow, I mean laterally. So Mandy Moore’s hips don’t lie, and they’re screaming that they can’t breathe under the 20 lbs that’s suffocating them, and the contour-panties that are trying to slim them, I guess that’s why she had to resort dating people like DJ AM, who by the way is gayer than bicycle shorts. Cuddles


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Posted in:Average|Unsorted

2007

12

Dec

I am – Jessica Alba is Pregnant of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Jessica Alba buying a mattress, which was a lot more interesting when I saw them yesterday, before finding out bitch was pregnant. I did notice that her ass looked fatter and I wasn’t down with that, but I just assumed it was the jeans and not the fact that her ex came up in her. I should be more aware, because I was just thinking about all the shit that mattress is going to see, but now all I can see is morning sickness, fat asses, hormonal whining and eating and even after the pregnancy is done, it’ll just be a broken down looser stitched up cunt and broken down, fatter body.

I remember reading about her and her baby daddy Cash Money Warren broke up. I guess she saw shit coming to an end and didn’t want to lose him, so she did the “pretend I am on the pill, or poke a hole in the condom to get knocked up so that he’ll be forced to come back to me” stunt before he could escape, because bitches are crazy and now he’s gotta pretend he cares about her while trying to convince her to abort.

See ya later Alba, your career is over, you were boring and washed the fuck up anyway, and will be replaced. You may have never got naked in movies, or had any talent beyond guys wanting to fuck you, but it’s nice to see you hiding your shame for being an out-of-wedlock knocked up slut.


Click this to read the Article on Jessica Alba’s Pregnancy
GO

Posted in:Unsorted