Dead Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Dead Category

2010

Jan

Casey Johnson With The Dead Heiress Titty Picture of the Day

They reported that Casey Johnson died on the 29th of December, so I doubt any necrophiliac’s are still lusting over her, cuz I’m sure she’s not quite a pretty sight, but the good news is that there are always pictures of her for you to get off to cuz I know first hand that there’s something magica about getting off to dead chicks, it’s like the ultimate disrespect, something far worse than convincing them to let you shit on their chest back when they were still alive, maybe it’s cuz there’s a possiblity that her spirit is watching you doin’ it and that’s why I jerk off to pictures of bitches in their bikinis from the 1950s assumin they are dead by now or to videos starring girls in this video…..

It’s one of those so wrong it’s right kind of thing…..

On a sidenote, I’ve feel like I have a special bond with Casey Johnson because I’ve been using their Bandaids on my dick sick I first got scabs…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Casey Johnson|Dead

2009

Nov

Lady Gaga Kils a Paparazzi of the Day

5 Comments »

I want to know who the fuck is paying off everyone for Lady Gaga’s career.

Last night she awarded for her contribution to style in New York. I realize that decision makers don’t always know what’s u and a lot of politics and money go into making these choices and I get that it is easy for idiots to get confused by what Lady Gaga does, thinking it may be fashionable, when really it is fucking ridiculous and circus shit and I understand that Lady Gaga is all the fucking rage today, so if you have an award to give, givingit to her is good marketing because the second she shows to your event, people will know you exist or some shit….but am I the only one who is bored of this bitch. Doesn’t anyone else see through her bullshit, can’t they see she’s a joke and a machine fabricated by a record company to cater to the gay market? Do people really think this is authentic and not contrived? It just doesn’t make sense to me. She is not talented or fashionable, she is just a stain on pop culture….at least she covers her disgusting face….

The craziest thing in all this is that when Gaga showed up to the event, one of the paparazzi fell off a ladder and died. Seriously. That’s just how poisonous this cunt is and the real tragedy in all this is not that a dude died because of Lady Gaga, something I am sure wasn’t on his top 10 list of ways to die, but that it wasn’t her who died because she is the fucking devil and needs to be stopped….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Dead|Lady Gaga|Paparazzi

2009

May

RIP Motherfucker the Dom DeLuise Edition of the Day

4 Comments »

I just heard this now, because I don’t have my finger on the pulse of pop culture, but I do sometimes get lucky enough to have my finger inside pop culture, and by pop culture I mean unsuspecting college girls who had a little too much too drink and happen to fall asleep while I am on the couch next time them, and by sometimes, I mean never.

But Dom DeLuise died in his sleep at 6 pm. He was 75. He had a good life. He was fat. He probably would have lived another 10 years if he ate a little less, exercised a little more, advice I don’t give my wife, because she’s seen her prime and I feel it’s time for her to say goodbye to this mean world.

Either way, here’s some youtube videos of him, to remind you who he is, in the event you forgot.

Here he is on Dean Martin’s Show….

Here he is with Dean Martin Again

Here he is as Pizze The Hut in Spanish

Here he is with Dom DeLuise on Johnny Carson’s Show…

Posted in:Dead|Dom DeLuise|RIP Motherfucker

2009

Apr

RIP Motherfucker the Marilyn Chambers Edition of the Day?

5 Comments »

Another drug addicted retired/weathered pornstar dies in her mobile home….

SANTA CLARITA, Calif. Marilyn Chambers, star of such golden age classics as Behind the Green Door and Insatiable, was found dead Sunday in the mobile home where she had been living for the past several months. She was 57. Chambers was found by her daughter, McKenna. No cause of death is yet known, and an autopsy will be performed. ?

I am not going to lie, I had no idea who Marilyn Chambers was earlier today. But after lookin her up, the real surprise is that she didn’t die sooner than this, you know 70s pornstars who hung with John Holmes were all drug addicted HIV positive runaways.

Here are some quick facts on her:

One of her claim to fame was that she was one of the few actresses that could fully deepthroat John Holmes’ penis.

She was one of the first female stars to shave her bush.

She was noted for her enthusiastic performances of deep throat, anal, lesbian, interracial, extreme bukkake, and double or triple penetration scenes.

She was also the Ivory Snow model before Ivory Snow found out she did some legendary porn called Behind the Green Door that I’ve never seen.

She was also a Disco recording artist like she was in Boogie Nights…and here’s her song Benihana that I’d like to dedicate to Steve Aoki and suggest he Remix since his dad was Benihana.

RIP Motherfucker….you had a good run….you made many men cum…and now you will make many guys who get off to dead chicks cum…your legacy lives on….

BONUS – You can download Behind the Green Door if you Follow This Link – But Be Warned – The Links May Be Dead – I Didn’t Test Them Out….
GO

Posted in:Dead|Marilyn Chambers

2009

Mar

Lindsay Lohan Death Watch of the Day

7 Comments »

Despite looking like death, Lindsay Lohan is still alive, unfortunately, but the good news is that it probably won’t be for long. She’s in the UK doing her thing by going to synagogue and going on dinner dates with her lesbian lover, you know doing her girlfriend duties that don’t involve suckin Ronson’s clit, and both this girls look like fucking shit. I figure they’ve gone back to Ronson’s home to say their final goodbyes to their family and friends at one last bash before taking their own lives, but I could be wrong. I usually am.

On a sidenote, when wasted, I met a 16 year old girl in the bar I was drinking at and she was really into Lindsay Lohan, so I did what any perverted 40 year old would do when a 15 year old girl is in love with Lindsay Lohan, and made her flash me her vagina for her phone number. I am not sure how long it’ll take her to realize I gave her the wrong number because last thing I need is Lohan suing me for giving her number out, but I got to see 16 year old vagina. I figure as long as it goes down in a bar, where you legally have to be 18 to drink, it’s safe.

Wow, my posts are sucking today….

Here they are at a Bar Mitzvah becauase Ronson is Jewish, Lohan is Converting, because they know they are both dying and that in Judaism there is no hell…which makes being a sinner, addict and cunt….

Posted in:Dead|death|Dying|Lindsay Lohan

2009

Jan

RIP Motherfucker the Jett Travolta Edition of the Day

46 Comments »

John Travolta has a 16 year old son who has been reported to have autism and some Kawasaki Syndrome that fucks up his heart and makes him ride motorcycles, that brings on seizures and it turns out that he had one in the Bahamas where the family was celebrating New Years and may or may not have hit his head on the bath tub he may or may not have been masturbating in and died.

I was 16 once and the majority of it was spent masturbating so don’t get mad at me for fuckin’ up the facts. I know that I blame scientology but I mean that’s just obvious and the whole thing is a pretty shitty thing to have happen especially when ringing in a New Year, but if Travolta followed his heart and lived the gay life he was destined for, instead of this closet-case shit, none of this would have happened.

But that doesn’t stop the hurt he’s feeling from this premature loss, so RIP motherfucker. My heart goes out to Kelly Preston in these very sad times because I used to find her hot before she was polluted, and I am sure many sad years are ahead of her, unless of course this was a scientology sacrifice that was planned, in which case, you should go to jail. Let’s hope justice is served.

Posted in:Dead|Jett Travolta|RIP Motherfucker

2008

Dec

Bettie Page Is Gonna Die….of the Day

7 Comments »

Rockabilly Pin-up Alternative Model Fat Chicks are probably not getitng out of bed today, mourning the soon to be loss of their idol, the God of their movement, the girl who inspired them to wear Corets, Vintage Lingerie and cut their bangs short and stupid, the one and only Bettie Page, who up until today, I thought was already dead, is about to die.

I am kinda upset that she is still alive and that I was wrong in thinking that she was already dead because a few years ago, I went through a phase where I’d only jerk off to nude pics of dead chicks, because some crazy part of me thought their spirit would be watching and that I wouldn’t be jerking off alone. I spent a solid 2 months on this kick and occassionally was jerking off to what I thought was a Betty Page’s dead pussy when it was in it’s 1950s prime, when I was really jerking off to some alive and well grandmother’s not quite dead pussy when it was in it’s prime and her spirit wasn’t in the room with me, but in some retirement community playing shuffle board. I feel like the 3 orgasms I’ve had over this bitch, thinking I was being all naughty with her and shit, were lies and I can’t get them back.

I hate you Bettie Page for robbing me of those orgasms, you were dead to me long ago, but here’s an R.I.P. motherfucker in advance.

I guess she deserves some thanks for being the leader of girls getting naked for money and without her being there willing to sacrifice her dignity for male attention and money, who knows what other slut of her time would have stepped in to lead the way. I guess we’d need Bill and Ted to figure that out and should appreciate her efforts to in innovating porn.

Here are some videos of her hot 1950s tits and remember you’ve always got Dita Von Teese’s shitty Betty Page Impersonation anytime you want to reconnect.

Here’s some Bettie Page Videos…..

To Read the Article on Bettie Page Dying….
GO

To See a Whole Lot of 1950s Pinup Grossness….
GO

Posted in:Bettie Page|Dead|Dying|RIP Motherfucker

2008

Oct

RIP MOTHERFUCKER the Jennifer Hudson Edition of the Day

7 Comments »

Jennifer Hudson didn’t die, her mother and her brother did. They were found shot to death in what police think is a domestic dispute. I can only assume Jennifer Hudson is destroyed by this and it probably wouldn’t be right to crack any black people die in the ghetto jokes, especially considering these black folk are rich.

According to the Chicago Tribune, a 7-year-old boy named Julian King is missing. Police would not say whether he is a relative of the actress. They are also looking for a white 1994 Chevrolet Suburban with Illinois license plate No. X584859 or a teal Chrysler Concorde four-door with the left front headlight hanging down

A 1994? This girl’s won an Oscar and has hit songs, couldn’t they get a newer car? But I guess that’s not really a major concern, considering her family was just murdered…and she is now an orphan.

So i if you see those cars, call the police….not that anyone who reads this site leaves their house, but I just felt it was my duty to throw it out there…

RIP motherfuckers, it’s a sad day for my Dreamgirl and there’s nothing funny about this kind of thing, this will destroy her, let’s hope her faith gets her through this, because she is really big on God, and I assume, she feels like God has let her down, and that usually leads to some major self destruction and/or suicide because her life is pretty much over and she will need lots of therapy to get through this, so let’s hope she survives.

On a side note, police are looking for William Barfour, Balfour listed Hudson’s mother’s address as a place of residence within the last year. According to the Illinois Department of Corrections website, Balfour is currently on parole after serving jail time for attempted murder.

Note to self, don’t let an attempted murderer move into my home, because it may end in murder.

This is a crazy story, a sad story and I hope they get the fucker and give him the death sentence, only instead of lethal injection or the chair, they have Hudson smother him with her big ol’ tits, cuz used the wrong way, those things are lethal…and if they do, let’s hope they videotape it because it may revolutionize porn.

Posted in:Dead|Jennifer Hudson|Mother|RIP Motherfucker

2008

Sep

RIP Motherfucker the Paul Newman’s Own Edition of the Day

5 Comments »

Along with Salad Dressing, Pasta Sauce, Microwave Popcorn and Chocolate Chip Cookes, Paul Newman can add Obituary to his list of things that are his….

It is the end of an era. Paul Newman died yesterday at 83 from a battle with lung cancer. I just wanted to say his over-priced dressings will not be the same without him around to see the sales reports. This man was Cool Hand Luke and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, a seriously great contribution to American movies, and someone who tried to use his name to make a difference in the lives of sick kids and it’s sad to see him go.

I mean you can’t be all that sad consdering dude is 83, and that’s a pretty long life, one longer than any of us will probably live, but you should take a minute to recognize all that he’s done in his lifetime, and to realize that it is a whole lot more than you ever did.

So tonight when getting drunk and smoking cigarettes, the same cigarettes that killed Paul Newman, spill a little drink on the sidewalk for your fallen homie..I’m talking about you Newman.

It’d be nice if I woke up today to write my RIP Motherfucker to the cast of The Hills, but instead I have to do this. Maybe Paul Newman’s final legacy will be teaching the cast of The Hills how to land a terminal illness, I guess only time will tell.

In the next few years, a lot of these Hollywood Old Timers are going to start droppin’ like flies, I’m talking about Regis, Barbara Walters and a whole lot more, so get ready for a lot more of these…which is exciting, because they are so fun to write while hung the fuck over feeling like death myself. Yay!