I'll Make You Famous…

Archive for the death Category




Lindsay Lohan Death Watch is Back on of the Day

Just so everyone knows…Lindsay Lohan is playing up this drugged out near death bullshit harder than her father is. She is not going to die. She is not near death. She is probably not even doing drugs. She likes the fact people are talking about her and saying she’s the next to die. She’s milking it as hard as she can and really it’s pretty fucking easy. All she has to do is not shower, fall in public, put white powder in her shoes and get into the fetal position at a Wendy’s drive-through. I know she’s playing this up and I know this is all for attention and if she dies…I will be proven wrong…but as the guy who’s been doing the Lohan Death Watch for the last 3 years…I think I know what I am talking about….

Don’t believe anything you see in Hollywood. Shit is all staged and strategic….Don’t be an idiot even though I know you are a fucking idiot….and for those of you looking to jerk off, just imagine she’s some bitch you got some roofies into and who passed the fuck up in the cab ride you said “you’d share” home with her cuz you “Live in the same neighborhood”, resulting in you getting your way with her in the first Alley you could drag her into…

Pics via PacificCoastNews
Pics via Fame

Posted in:death|Lindsay Lohan




Mischa Barton is Gonna Die Soon of the Day

I’ve put Mischa Barton on Death Watch and the whole thing is very exciting to me. Call me a psycho if you want, but the reality is that I get excited when these celebrities die. I don’t have any on impact on their ultimate self-destruction, I’m irrelevant in their lives, so I don’t feel guilty about how they spend all their bullshit TV or Movie money on drugs, alcohol and in Mischa Barton’s case – baked goods, until eventually their bodies give out on them. See there are people out there who actually kill themselves cuz they have actual problems, cuz they actually hate themselves or can’t live with the shitty hand they’ve been dealt, but celebrities are a fucking joke, they have it all….money, easy access to nightclubs, free clothes and drinks and they don’t need to work. They can travel the world, live large and have a good fucking time, but instead do this, and it make me laugh.

So when Mischa Barton dies, you can expect a tribute here in the form of laughter, and in the meantime we can all watch the demise…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:death|Mischa Barton




I See Dead People / Mischa Barton of the Day

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart. I shouldn’t be hating on these pictures of Mischa Barton because for the longest time I’ve said she looked her best as the dead kid under the bed with stomach flu from the move Sixth Sense, and now she’s finally goin’ back to her roots, only instead of movie make-up, this shit is real fuckin’ deal unhealthiness and it is really sexy. I guess it’s the same reason I went hunting through the Emergency Room at every hospital trying to find people with Swine Flu or terminal illness to be there last lover like I’m the fuckin’ make a wish foundation, or how my friend applied for a job at the morgue to wash dead people, because of all the pussy he figured he’d getto see that wouldn’t say no, only she’s not dead yet, just going through a bit of a rough patch that may leave her dead while lookin’ like death and the whole thing is far too gothic for me, bitch needs to invest in some blush, or a spray tan, maybe even a vacation cuz this is almost to the point of scary.

Posted in:death|Mischa Barton




Howard K. Stern Goes To Jail of the Day

So I got a text message this morning that said Howard Stern was in jail. I woke up for a minute, looked at it and figured that since I am hungover and that everyone else is covering the story, I’ll just go back to bed and see what the hell that person was talking about, and try to figure out why they’d bother telling me about it.

Well, it turns out that it wasn’t Howard Stern the radio host who was arrested, but Howard K. Stern, Anna Nicole Smith’s leach who was feeding her drugs, keeping her subdued and manageable and eventually leading to her overdose.

I guess I should say lock him up and throw away the key, that’s some psycho control shit, but I am torn, since drugging girls unwillingly is the only way I get laid.

Posted in:Anna Nicole Smith|death|Howard K. Stern|Murder




Lindsay Lohan Death Watch of the Day

Despite looking like death, Lindsay Lohan is still alive, unfortunately, but the good news is that it probably won’t be for long. She’s in the UK doing her thing by going to synagogue and going on dinner dates with her lesbian lover, you know doing her girlfriend duties that don’t involve suckin Ronson’s clit, and both this girls look like fucking shit. I figure they’ve gone back to Ronson’s home to say their final goodbyes to their family and friends at one last bash before taking their own lives, but I could be wrong. I usually am.

On a sidenote, when wasted, I met a 16 year old girl in the bar I was drinking at and she was really into Lindsay Lohan, so I did what any perverted 40 year old would do when a 15 year old girl is in love with Lindsay Lohan, and made her flash me her vagina for her phone number. I am not sure how long it’ll take her to realize I gave her the wrong number because last thing I need is Lohan suing me for giving her number out, but I got to see 16 year old vagina. I figure as long as it goes down in a bar, where you legally have to be 18 to drink, it’s safe.

Wow, my posts are sucking today….

Here they are at a Bar Mitzvah becauase Ronson is Jewish, Lohan is Converting, because they know they are both dying and that in Judaism there is no hell…which makes being a sinner, addict and cunt….

Posted in:Dead|death|Dying|Lindsay Lohan




Lohan and Ronson’s Myspace Ad Predicts the Future of the Day

I was checking the obits today to see if anyone I know has passed on. I do it every couple of days, not because I plan on going to funerals, but because I just like knowing, especially when they are dudes I used to run around and get drunk and high with, because it reminds me that I’m next so I might as well update the site because it may all end soon.

Anyway, I get to the site and guess who is lookin’ back at me, fucking Lohan and Ronson advertising Myspace. Sure the whole thing was totally inappropriate, but I mean what kind of ads can you really run along a person’s death notice? But I just imagined kids logging on there to read the notes people are leaving their dead parent or sibling who died from childhood cancer, eyes filled with tears, ripped from the inside out with emotion, only to experience this journey with this lesbian fucking duo and I was offended.

Until I realized that it’s some weird psychic shit, that brings up so many questions. Is it their relationship that is about to die or is dead, is it because Lohan’s career is dead, or is it just a preview of what’s to come when Lindsay finally kills herself because dying will bring the notoriety she’s always wanted and her multiple personality/manic depression, her drug use and her starvation, will get the best, and that’s when I realized why the run such inappropriate ads, it’s to give the people hurting hope, hope of a brighter day to come and new beginnings, a hope of life going on without that loved one, a life without Lohan polluting it.

Posted in:Ali Lohan|death|Lindsay Lohan|Sam Ronson|Slut




I am – RIP Kanye West’s Mom of the Day


Death is never funny, even when it happens to a comedian or a clown, or when the person involved dies doing something stupid like showering with his TV because he didn’t want to miss his favorite episode of Friends or by trying to show his friends how cool he is by running through traffic like he was Frogger, or even if he died jerking off with a dildo jammed in his ass and a fleshlight in his hand wearing women’s panties, but this was emailed to me and I figured I’d throw it up.

I know that it’s not like there’s anything you can do about it and you’re probably not even a fan of Kanye’s but regardless, I am posting it because he was really close to her and sings about her and all that shit, and when death hits, the person either gets totally fucked up and self destructs or ends up producing the best shit of their life. So this is going to have some kind of impact on him and shit he’s involved in.

You should all call your moms and loved ones today, even if they are ashamed of you for being such a loser and fuck up who embarrasses the family and wrote you off 10 years ago asking you to never call home again, just because their still alive and you never know when they’ll drop dead leaving you with a whole lot of guilt for not talking to them when you had the chance that will follow you for the rest of your life and lead you to the bottle more than you’ve already been lead to the bottle.

Rapper Kanye West’s Mother Dies

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Donda West, mother of Kanye West and former chairwoman of Chicago State University’s English department, has died, a spokesman for the rapper said. She was 58.

Donda West died Saturday night in Los Angeles, said the spokesman, who asked for anonymity because not all family members had been notified.

“The family respectfully asks for privacy during this time of grief,” the spokesman said.

A cause of death has not been released.

Donda West was known for the strong bond she shared with her son, by whose side she was often seen at parties and award shows.

Kanye West, 30, often spoke of his close relationship with his mother, who raised him alone after her husband left when Kanye was 3.

She was the inspiration for the song, “Hey Mama,” on Kanye West’s 2005 album “Late Registration,” in which he sings: “Hey Mama, I wanna scream so loud for you, cuz I’m so proud of you … I appreciate what you allowed for me. I just want you to be proud of me.”

Donda West frequently defended her son against critics who accused him of penning misogynistic lyrics and other purported transgressions.

“I support my baby,” she said in a Chicago Sun-Times interview. “He is telling how he feels and he is speaking the truth as he sees it.”

In May, she published the book “Raising Kanye: Life Lessons from the Mother of a Hip-Hop Star,” in which she paid homage to her famous son.

Donda West served as chief executive of West Brands LLC, the parent company of her son’s business enterprises, and as chairwoman of the Kanye West Foundation, an educational nonprofit that works to decrease dropout rates and improve literacy.

Kanye West told the Associated Press in August that he and his mother worked together to devise the foundation’s first program, “Loop Dreams,” which helps public school students get involved in music.

“Me and my mother were discussing ways to give back and came up with the concept,” he said.

Donda West worked in higher education for 31 years, before leaving academia in 2004 to help manage her son’s career, according to a biography on the Kanye West Foundation’s Web site.

She began working at Chicago State University in 1980 and eventually chaired the school’s English department, according to the site. She started her teaching career in the early 1970s as an instructor at Brown College in Atlanta.

Kanye West’s writing partner Rhymefest lamented Donda West’s death Sunday in an appearance on Chicago radio station WCGI.

“She was everyone’s mom,” Rhymefest said. “A spirit never dies, a spirit lasts forever.”

Associated Press Music Writer Nekesa Mumbi Moody in New York and AP writer Sophia Tareen in Chicago contributed to this report.

Posted in:death|Kanye West|R.I.P.|Uncategorized|Unsorted