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Archive for the Ali Lohan Category

2013

09

Dec

Ali Lohan Sings for Youtube and It Freaks Me Out of the Day

This Ali Lohan singing video weirds me the fuck out…from start to finish…not because she can or can’t sing, I watched it on mute, because I don’t care to hear her sing…but because there’s really no reason for her to be doing this other than to draw unnecessary attention to herself and make people laugh..which would make me sad if I had a soul…but instead just makes me cringe thinking how unnecessary it was for her to put herself out there in the vicious world…

I don’t need to mock her, or laugh, or ridicule her for trying to showcase anything, she’s just a girl with a dream, let her have it…

It just makes me sad that her dream wasn’t working in retail or in a corporate job her sister hooks her up with because this is just awful across the board…all porny and uncomfortable..this isn’t going to end well for her…

Posted in:Ali Lohan

2012

09

Mar

Ali Lohan Gets Pizza of the Day

The paprazzi are hilarious…who the fuck cares that Ali Lohan is out picking up a fucking pizza….who cares if anyone is out picking up a fucking pizza….except maybe Kate Upton, since she’s all the rage now, and it’s always fun to watch empty calories she doesn’t think are going to ruin her, slowing start to ruin her….but Ali’s skinny, that bitch needs all the pizza she can get….but more importantly, the paparazzi need to step up their paparazzi game…cuz I want bikini pics…not pizza party bullshit…..especially not of my future sister in law….you see cuz I’m gonna get the other Lohan to marry me…you know since she’s the only thing that matters in hollywood…..

HSK is some faggot shit.

To See the Some Pics of Her Grocery Shopping With Her Hot Sister In Some Tight Pants…..
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Ali Lohan

2011

19

Oct

Ali Lohan Skinny Girl Porn of the Day

People always hate on the skinny chicks…those people…usually fat chicks…

I’m married to a fat chick and there’s nothing nice about it…it feels gross, it looks gross, and if she’s fat enough, it smells fucking gross…

I wish that she took some of these starving girl lifestyle choices, cuz it’d make my life that much better…..cuz everytime I see her eat, I want to throw the fuck up….it’d be nice if she was just a little anorexic…you know if she stopped eating fucking donuts…

Years ago, I found some real weird anorexia fetish site…and pleaded with women to take their lead….cuz the Kim Kardashian / fat ass movement was messing everything up….so it’s nice to see Ali Lohan doing things lean and right….it is inspiring…

Now someone, make this girl more famous.

TO SEE SOME SKINNY TEEN GIRLS NAKED – CUZ IT IS A FETISH
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Ali Lohan

2011

20

Jul

Ali Lohan is the Jailbait Disappointment of the Day

I don’t understand how with only 5 months before her 18th birthday, this Ali Lohan, sister of haggard Lohan, hasn’t pulled a Miley, Taylor Momsen, or capitalized on her sisters name in order to get noticed as the jailbait all the perverts want to give tutor….naked….but instead has spent her time not showering, looking like a wreck, and remaining far less interesting than her older sister we’re all bored of when she was this age….

I mean this is prime opportunity to really make a name for herself, and instead she’s taking her sister’s lead, and is doing nothing, I mean you think her mom would step in and force the bitch into making her money in the last window she has as parent to claim a huge percentage of those earning…and that’s been the Jailbait disappointment of the day….

Posted in:Ali Lohan

2010

24

Sep

Ali Lohan Modeling for her Sister’s Clothing Line of the day

Lindsay Lohan is following her family legacy by exploiting family members for personal gain. Here is Ali Lohan in a campaign for her sister’s 6126 clothing line and I guess it’s only natural that the torch gets passed from one haggard at 24 slut, onto the fresher version who will end up equally damaged, and now is as good a time as any, since the older washed up version is doing time….

I know American men love this underage shit, I just see a girl who probably comes with a lot of headaches and little skills in the bedroom to justify those headaches, but then again, I could legally bang her here, so she’s not the forbidden fruit in the garden of eden, she’s just some whore in training who will eventually hit rock bottom thanks to her rich kid problems that aren’t real problems and her insane family…

Posted in:Ali Lohan

2010

06

Jan

Lohan Sisters Stretching in the Airport of the Day

Here are the Lohan sisters stretching like athletes, only instead of stretching for physical activity, they are stretching to get their bodies ready to do absolutely nothing but sit around all day, whether in LA or on the beach of St Barths or really anywhere they go they most they get done is shopping..I mean Lohan doesn’t even suck dick anymore, making these stretches pretty useless and remidn me of my horrible wife who complains of sports type injuries like sprains and pulled muscles from walking from the kitchen to the couch….cuz she’s fat…only the Lohan’s are the anorexic version of that laziness…something I would much rather jerk off on…and here are the pics…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ali Lohan|Lindsay Lohan|Lohan Sisters|Stretching

2010

04

Jan

Lindsay Lohan and Her Sister in their Bathing Suits of the Day

There was a time Lohan was desperate enough to answer my text messages and emails. Those days are long gone and it hurts my feelings that she didn’t have the decency to break up with my, she just stopped answering me and it makes jerking off to her a very sad experience, but after lookin’ at these pics, it may not be because I’m emotionally shaken by being dropped, but more to do with how she looks. I’d still do her though…just putting that out there in case she’s desperate for a fat old man’s limp pathetic dick, I figure with the whole lesbian shit, a dick that looks like a clit would be a solid transition back to taking cock….here she is with her sister….

Lindsay Lohan is So Fancy Trying on Luis Vuiton Bathing Suits….that I hope the Store Burns before Another Bitch Slides into the shit….

Lindsay Lohan is Still Confindent Enough to Wear a 2 Piece…Kinda Like that Sloppy Ex-Hooker Who Pretty Much Gave Up on Life and No Longer has any Shame….and I Like it….because she’s not fat…and I hate fat chicks…

Pics via Bauer
Pics via INF

Posted in:Ali Lohan|Bikini|Lindsay Lohan

2009

22

Apr

Lindsay Lohan is Still the Star in my Eyes of the Day

I love this security guard in this video, maybe it’s because I hate the paparazzi, but it’s probably because the dude is cool. He’s telling the scummy paparazzi to fuck off and when they tell him he’s taking his job too seriously, he keeps telling them to fuck off.

There’s no way you or anyone can really respect the asshole paparazzi with their cameras, sure I use their pictures all the time, but that doesn’t mean I think they are good at taking pictures or that I think shit is an honorable career, they are fucking theifs who try to rip everyone off with their shitty pictures and insane prices and they even killed Princess Diana.

Either way, I was walking my dog and he made friends with this emo kid. I’m talking skinny jeans, funny mohawk, artist t-shirt, who was probably in his early 20s. I was thinking to myself that shit is way too androngynous nowadays, like that dude really looks like a girl and when I asked his name and he told me it was Melanie, I still didn’t catch on to the fact that I was talking to a fuckin’ girl. I only realized while walking away what I just experienced and I am still confused about the whole thing.

Here are some pictures of a sexy Lohan sunglass shopping. People say she’s too skinny, but let me remind you, there is no such thing as too skinny, there is however such thing as too fat and unfortunately, I’m sitting next to her right now….

BONUS – Don’t pay any attention to Ali Lohan’s tight little shorts cameltoe, girl’s only 15 dude….I’m in Canada…14 is Legal…Not that I’d ever do a 14 year old…I’m just saying, we may not get Hulu, but we do get prime teen pussy….right….

Posted in:Ali Lohan|Cameltoe|Lindsay Lohan|Shopping|Skinny

2009

30

Jan

Ali Lohan’s Inappropriate Photoshoot of the Day

Here are some pictures of Ali Lohan doing a photoshoot. I am not going to lie, I am a little torn because of these, sure I deem them totally inappropriate, as her dress is sheer and her titties are busting out, because getting off to pictures of 15 year olds in pictures is a crime and sexualizing a 15 year old should be a crime, but no one can control your dirty thoughts, so you should probably just keep it to yourself and not tell the world the things you’ve done to yourself thinking about hot summer days spent at the Dairy Queen or the public pool.

The reason I am torn is because it is perfectly legal to bang 14 year olds in Canada, so if let’s say Little Lohan looked 15 and not 40 and was hot and not a haggard, busted up and broken down faced monster, and these pictures turned me on I could go find my own Local Little Lohan, put her in this little outfit, have her dance around the room a little, before teaching me what she learned watching Gossip Girl, but the second I bust out a camera, I get arrested and that doesn’t seem fair, it’s like make it all legal, or make it all illegal, but not being able to document you sexual conquests should is the fucking crime here.

Point being, I am not down with 15 year olds, they just aren’t experienced enough to bring the slutty, and if they are slutty, it’s all an act. I figure let the teenage boys premature ejaculate for them and I’ll take em over at 18. Unfortunately, that never happens, but I can pretend it does, this is the internet.

Dina Lohan doesn’t think the same way as me. She wants people jerking off to her daughter, because she knows sex sells. I mean her vagina is the only reason she’s ever accomplished anything in her life, from free coke to her daughters’ careers, and that should be fucking criminal, because I remember when I tried to sell my stepdaughter to the neighbor when she was 16, my wife threatened to get me put the fuck away, but the second you get off the street and on the screen, shit’s totally accepted. Injustice.

Point being, Dina Lohan needs to rethink her parenting strategies, not that she’s a parent in anyway or has ever been one. She’s always been someone using her kids to give her the glamor she’s never been able to get for herself, no matter how many blowjobs she gave, it was just failed dreams.

So in her jealous rage towards Miley’s success, while thinking her Ali deserves that fame, and because Miley got all that press for her whore pictures, she goes ahead and coordinates this photoshoot, hoping for results. Unfortunately, Ali Lohan will never be a Miley, because her sister ruined all chances of her doing anything in life that isn’t porn and this is just a preview of what’s to come.

By the looks of these pictures, she’ll be alright going down that porn route and I mean she’s already got a head start on other future pornstars, since her mom’s been prostituting her all her life. Sure other pornstars-to-be may have the advantage since they are at home being molested/ raped / trained in their trailers by their dads, but Ali Lohan’s already comfortable in front of a camera….and that will probably go a long way. I also hear she’s a triple threat, but haven’t quite figured out what that means….

Here are those pictures….

Posted in:Ali Lohan|Photoshoot|Porn

2009

30

Jan

Lohan and Ronson’s Myspace Ad Predicts the Future of the Day

I was checking the obits today to see if anyone I know has passed on. I do it every couple of days, not because I plan on going to funerals, but because I just like knowing, especially when they are dudes I used to run around and get drunk and high with, because it reminds me that I’m next so I might as well update the site because it may all end soon.

Anyway, I get to the site and guess who is lookin’ back at me, fucking Lohan and Ronson advertising Myspace. Sure the whole thing was totally inappropriate, but I mean what kind of ads can you really run along a person’s death notice? But I just imagined kids logging on there to read the notes people are leaving their dead parent or sibling who died from childhood cancer, eyes filled with tears, ripped from the inside out with emotion, only to experience this journey with this lesbian fucking duo and I was offended.

Until I realized that it’s some weird psychic shit, that brings up so many questions. Is it their relationship that is about to die or is dead, is it because Lohan’s career is dead, or is it just a preview of what’s to come when Lindsay finally kills herself because dying will bring the notoriety she’s always wanted and her multiple personality/manic depression, her drug use and her starvation, will get the best, and that’s when I realized why the run such inappropriate ads, it’s to give the people hurting hope, hope of a brighter day to come and new beginnings, a hope of life going on without that loved one, a life without Lohan polluting it.

Posted in:Ali Lohan|death|Lindsay Lohan|Sam Ronson|Slut