Porn Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Porn Category

2010

10

May

Violet Kowal is Mel Gibson’s Polish Porn Girlfriend of the Day

This bitch is on of Mel Gibson’s mail-order, fall of communism, Eastern European brides, because Mel Gibson loves these communists, probably because he gets to play dictator on their pussies and they don’t ask questions, allowing him to play out his Nazi Hitler fantasies…and really who fucking cares…dude should be able to fuck whoever the fuck he wants to fuck and should be left alone….but instead of taking ownership on banging this 26 year old, his people denied her claims that they had “steamy sex” with Mel Gibson 8 times at his Malibu house and Santa Monica office at least 8 times, so she took a lie detector and passed, because based on her look, I assume anyone would fuck her 8 steamy times if they had the chance….

Apparently, she has some ties to the porn industry, I don’t really know what they are, but I am not surprised because that is why she’s not still in Poland and has managed to make her way to America to live the American Dream, cuz everyone knows the only way out of the iron curtain is through the sex trade….and who really cares, if I was Mel Gibson I’d be fucking everything I could, and if I was her, I’d probably be fucking Mel Gibson too, partially because he’s huge in Poland as Lethal Weapon just hit the theaters there and all my Polish friends would be so envious, but also because a disaster of a person like this is easy to move in on and ride to the fuckin’ top of the tabloid fame which is really the only way for an immigrant smut peddler to take it to the next level….

Here are some pics of her…..that are clearly staged…cuz getting attention is the whole reason she did this for….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Mel Gibson|Porn|Viloet Kowal

2010

23

Apr

Wal-Mart are the Porn Peddlers of the Day

Some woman claims she bought Sherlock Holmes at Wal-Mart but the DVD was actually a porn movie…

So either Wal-Mart are porn peddlers. The DVD manufacturer are pranking America, even though shit woulda been funnier if it was in “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs” or some Christian documentary shit that only fundamentalist religious people would watch. Or the bitch is a lying fucking pervert with multiple personality disorder or some shit and doesn’t realize that the wholesome mother in her isn’t always so wholesome, but instead gets off watching bitches get fucked up the ass…and anyway you dice it, porn sold in America’s happiest store where the lowest price is the law, is amazing.

Posted in:Porn|Wal-Mart

2010

31

Mar

Parents Watching Porn with Kids News of the Day

Texas has a funny law that reads “Minors are allowed to watch porn if an adult is present” and now some woman is trying to ruin our parental right to teach our daughters how to keep their man happy.

Seriously, porn is part of mainstream media and the sooner kids get up on how to fuck, the better off they are in future….fucking is a hell of a lot more beneficial to their future than Spongebob Squarepants bullshit….

Even Folgers commercials remind us that dad’s like training their daughters proper so that they know what they are passing off to their future husbands, I mean really, what else would the bitch be out all night after someone “propsed” to her…and what do you think daddy was referencing when he said “Todd’s a Lucky Man”….whore….The good news in all this is that I’m not a parent.

Posted in:Parenting|Porn

2010

04

Feb

Lindsay Lohan Porn of the Day

I don’t know about you, but there’s something really fucking erotic about a girl who lives in a fucking disgusting mess of shit. It’s like nothing says good mother like piles of dirty clothes, old rotting food and really who wants to fuck a bitch who is a girl who is going to be a good mother. That’s the kind of girl you marry, not the kind of girl you date rape after meeting in a club…so there is nothing more than I’d like to do right now than strip down and roll around in Lohan’s accumulation of stuff….I’m warning you, this video is fucking hot.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Porn

2010

29

Jan

Porn Kills of the Day

It looks like porn kills. Sure, we all know that for the last few decades porn has killed a variety of people, mainly the pornstars who have drug addiction and can’t live with themselves for being the dirty, used up whores they became as an answer to their dad’s who used to rape them as kids, but I’m sure it’s also killed a lot of losers who were tired of chronic masturbating and not being able to get porn pussy so they decided to end it all with a drug overdose or hanging themselves from the rafters in their mom’s attic, but the other day, it killed some woman who was run down by a jerking off truck driver who was watching porn while he worked like me, only his work involved driving big fucking machines that can run bitches over…..I figure prison will do him some good…cuz after getting out…porn will be the last thing on his mind as every orgasm he has will bring memories of prostate induced orgasms he couldn’t control while getting prison raped….

Posted in:Kills|Porn|Truck Driver

2010

20

Jan

Gillian Cooke Brings the Bobsled Porn of the Day

Here’s British Olympic bobsled team member Gillian Cooke flashing the world her ass because her bobsled outfit isn’t quite as strong as her hunger to win….I don’t really know shit about Winter Olympic athletes because women athletes look like fuckin’ dudes to begin with and I can only expect when they are at the Olympic level their vaginas are actually testicles, cuz if you check out the legs on this bitch, it’s safe to say she doesn’t get too much cock, unless the cock is from someone else on her team, cuz the average man is scared of this shit unless they live this shit and I guess what it all comes down to is flashing your ass on TV accidentally is classic comedy, I’m talking 3 Stooges shit so who cares what she looks like and just laugh at her instead….

Posted in:Ass Flash|Bobsled|GIllian Cooke|Porn

2010

19

Jan

Some Popular Porn Stars Riding Giant Cock at the AVN Awards of the Day

I generally hate pornstars because they think they are celebrities. They don’t realize that they are just the tainted cumshot drying on the face of the entertainment industry, they are bottom feeding prostitutes who realized that if they fuck for money on camera, they can’t get arrested for being prostitutes, essentially, creating an industry with “professionals” who get paid to fuck when being a “professional” takes little fucking talent, just no class, no shame, a pile of tacky stripper clothes and a craving for male attention….

We all fuck, we all know how to fuck and every girl I have ever fucked has given me a performance far more exhilerating than any porn scene I’ve watched, but I guess being someone who can get laid, even if it is by really ugly girls, automatically makes me not part of their target audience.

They want husbands bored of their wives and too pussy to cheat and virgins losers who can’t get laid, the kind of idiot who will make his way to their conference and stand in line for their autographs like they are some kind of famous……giving them a bigger ego and making them think they are more relevant than they back alley blowjob they are worth….

I’ve met Sasha Grey and she’s a fucking cunt. She thought she was more important than she was because she bullshitted her story into being some “Social Experiment on Sexuality” and rockstars, celebrities and other perverts ate her up, making her a total fucking cunt who thought she was more than a whore with huge bush. I’ve also met Jesse Jane and she’s alright , she just looks like a fucking alien thanks to heavy plastic surgery a life of no self esteem gave her…and here they are riding giant dick a couple of weeks ago for G4TV. A reader sent in these pics so you can thank him for their half assed quality….

And here’s Sasha Grey, Boring, Obnoxious and Half-Retarded…..

Facebook Shut Me Down Cuz They Are Racist- So Add My New Account
ADD ME

Posted in:Jesse Jane|Porn|Sasha Grey|Trash

2009

03

Nov

Tom Arnold in Some Long Lost Snuff Film of the Day

You gotta give love to people who were so desperate to make it in entertainment that they’d attach themselves to any project, even college quality amateur videos for their local stripclub DJ who was an aspiring filmmaker who threw together this production back in ’85 when he got his hands on their dad’s VHS camcorder and realized his dreams could come fucking true.

You know, people who just belong on screen and no matter what opportunity to be in front of the camera comes up, they take it. I really love the shit when these shitty quality porn clips surface after the motherfucker makes it in Hollywood….especially when it is a celebrity chick I want to fuck, but since I am a bottom feeder and take what I can get, even throwback porn or snuff footage of Tom Arnold makes me happy, but only because it isn’t actual porn footage of him fucking Roseanne, but is porn footage of him dressed hilarious and running off shitty lines…with some busty 80s chick….

Video and Story Via StreetBonersAndTVCarnage

Posted in:Porn|throwback|Tom Aronld

2009

03

Nov

Evan Seinfeld and His New Porn Slut Trash of the Day

I hate Evan Seinfeld, not because he’s Jerry Seinfeld’s brother, because he probably isn’t, but because he embodies pretty much everything I hate in a person.

Sure, he was in the band Biohazard, something some of you idiots may idolize, because I remember stupid french kids and white trash flocked to that garbage.

He looks ridiculously fucking lame. He was married to, managed and starred with Tara Patrick a disgusting looking pornstar who everyone seemed to neglect was disgusting looking, despite the fact that she has no chin. Now he’s taken his tattooed, bald, jewish, shoulda been an accountant but something went wrong thanks to the way my parents raised me where I decided to tattoo my entire body and be in porn.

Here he is in Vegas because the city feeds off his type of cheese and so do dumb cunts and here he is with some new stupid sluts who think they need him to make it in porn, when all they really need is a fucking camcorder, but they’re too stupid to realize that, hence why they are trying to get into porn via Evan Seinfeld….

Here are the stupid pictures of the idiot….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Evan Seinfeld|Porn|Trash

2009

31

Jul

Lindsay Lohan’s NEW Look for her NEW Job of the Day

Lohan’s been reported to be desperate for money and here she is with some new look, with new blonde hair and new lips that she claims is for a new part, which is technically the truth, but it’s not gonna be a movie for Disney, shit’s gonna be a fuckin’ porn, at least that’s what I assume because the porn companies are offereing her huge money and everyone knows that girls who jack up their lips and bleach out their hair are into suckin’ dick on camera, or stripping, or just attracting male attention cuz their dad’s were too busy spending late nights at the office…..

Either way, I’m excited for this move and I think it was a great decision on her part. The work is gonna be constant and well paying, the fans are gonna be excited to see her back on screen only doing what she does best and most importanlty she’s really gonna love giving her vagina an opportunity to make up for lost time, you know, this whole lesbian phase left the fucker feelin’ left the fuck out..

Here’s her new porn look for you to get ready to the face you’re soon gonna be masturbating to….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Porn