Porn Archives - Page 2 of 5 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com - page 2

Archive for the Porn Category

2009

15

Jul

Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson Porn of the Day

The other day, I was talking to a girl and the conversation turned to porn, as it often does with me. Not because I actually like porn, but because people just assume I am the worst porn site on the internet and label me as a porn site, because porn is the only thing that supports what I do, while mainstream is too pussy to show me some love.

We were talking about what porn that I would produce porn would be like and one of us suggested that I do Hannah Montana porn starring her, and I thought the whole thing was a great ideal, until I realized she was 14 and creeped the fuck out because some random dude started chatting her up allegedly asking her to star in Hannah Montana porn, but from what I remember it was all her doing, but try convincing the cops of that….

Either way, Hustler beat me to the parody shit and produced this Lohan/Ronson shit that isn’t really believable, but still pretty fuckin’ funny.

Here’s the hardcore Trailer…..

I believed this sex parody up until the second I saw Sam Ronson in a pair of women’s panties, everyone knows that she wears boxers so all credibility went to shit, not to mention the “real” Lohan’s tits are far better than this slut, her vagina is far more weathered and used, her eyes are more glassed over/high, and her face isn’t so fresh faced which is kinda depressing when you’re being compared to a ghetto porn slut, but other than that I feel like I’m in some kind of other dimension where I can’t tell who is the real Lohan and who is the fake one….and I guess we all know what Ronson’s gonna be masturbating to while on the road.

Here are some pictures of the “real” Lohan the other day….

And some more pictures of the “real” Lohan

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Porn|Sam Ronson

2009

26

Jun

Mary Carey is a Porn Pig of the Day

If you’re into beastiality but shit’s not legal in your parts, but you can’t get over the fact that fucking a live animal would be the single most amazing experience in your life, the porn producers have answered all your dreams by giving a pig like Mary Cary a career. Sure she may not actually live in a barn down the street from you to crawl into at night and have your way with, but she sure as fuck looks like she does.

Posted in:Mary Carey|Pig|Porn

2009

02

Jun

Some Mary Cary and Ron Jeremy Bullshit of the Day

Mary Cary and Ron Jeremy are two people who are so fucking ugly they make me never want to have sex, or even masturbate again, but for some fucking reason they are both pornstars and get paid to fuck on camera for people to watch and masturbate to.

Shit’s gotta be on some next level fetish, maybe they are ugly brother and sister, but I don’t think that is the case if anything the fact that they’ve made careers getting naked, just gives my wife hope that despite her rash, obesity and mobility issues, she too get get fucked on camera because there will always be someone willing to watch….

Here they are at some launch party for some porn called Celebrity Pornhab with Dr Screw. These porn assholes aren’t just ugly but also comedic geniuses.

Posted in:Mary Cary|Porn|Ron Jeremy

2009

21

May

An Amazing Story of Failure and Defeat of the Day

Here is a story of a girl who tried so hard to reach her goals but just couldn’t get where she needed to be.

Porn Star ‘Cora’ – Carolin Berger was rushed to a hospital with difficulties breathing, while filming her attempt to break a world’s record of oral sex with 200 men. Cora had serviced 75 men at the time of the health crisis.

Almost inspirin, isn’t it? At least the whore’s got fuckin’ ambition and wants to leave her fuckin’ mark on the world. To have a fuckin’ legacy other than the men she’s given herpes to. That’s more than I can say about the whores I know who would do that shit for some crack and not even think to make a big fuss about breakin’ records, you know a whore who does it out of necessity and not for the glitz and glam of semen dripping down her fuckin’ chin an onto her tits.

Here’s a whole bunch of her porn (I think)
GO

Here’s the story….
GO

Posted in:Cora|Porn

2009

11

May

Amy Fisher’s Tits to Exxxotica in Miami of the Day

Remember the Amy Fisher/Joey Buttafuoco story from the 90s, where he was banging her at 16 when she was in her prime and she couldn’t deal with the fact that he was married, so she shot his bitch wife in the head and got charged with assault, making every man who hates his wife, including myself, realize there is a way out and that way is with hot young pussy.

She spent close to a decade in jail, only to come out and launch a porn career years after she really should have, but I guess in support of girls who let me watch them fuck other dudes in video, I can’t hate on it, even if it took a little too long to happen by my standards.

She was at the Exxxotica bullshit event in Miami this past weekend, the same one who didn’t email me an invitation, and she hosted some Mother’s Day MILF competition with a couple of paid hookers/models to make it look like real MILF’s signed up to compete, because Exxxotica are fucking scam artists who manipulate the truth for overall effect..and here are the pics.

Posted in:Amy Fisher|Exxxotica Miami|Porn|Tits

2009

23

Apr

Pornstar Stoya’s After Sex Glow of the Day

I have been spending a lot of time at a McDonald’s with a drug addict who has uneven legs, a sunken face and one platform show, like motherfucker’s still in the 70s and into disco. I also hang with a couple really old ladies, one who orders two coffees, one for her and one for her dead husband who she always says is on his way, he’s just parking the car, but doesn’t show up for the 3 hours she sits there. Then there’s a schizophrenic dude who talks craziness and always brings one or two new personalities with him, so the daytime McDonald’s scene is pretty intense. I only go because they have TVs and wifi.

Today, I was watching Canada’s answer to Access Hollywood and half their stories were screenshots of shit celebrities posted on twitter. They’ve become lazy and now instead of digging, they just have to post garbage these celebs or their staff post, because I guess that’s what fuels a site as useless as that.

So I decided to do my own twitter digging and all I came up with was this picture of pornstar Stoya that she took when she just finished a scene. You can see the after-whore glow, and some nipple, knowing she just got fucked hard and dirty in exchange for money. I figured you’d want to see it, even though I’ve never heard of her….even though she’s AVN’s 2009 best startlet because I don’t give a fuck about porn, pornstars and prefer local sluts….

Posted in:Porn|Pornstar|Stoya

2009

23

Apr

Bree Olson Talks About How She Likes to Fuck of the Day

After posting some topless pictures of Bree Olson that a friend of mine took in her hotel room during the AVN awards in Vegas because he’s got the in with the pornstars and wanted me to tell the world that he’s better than you, not that we needed to tell you that anyone is better than you. I mean, I could have said I had a friend with pancreatic cancer who just filed for bankrupcy, his wife left him for his best friend and cancer doctor who was in the process of saving his life, and now he’s torn whether to continue treatments or just kill himself and you’d be envious of him because a woman actually married him, even though she’s a fat cheating cunt.

Either way, some dude sent this video in of Bree talking at some conference about how she likes dirty sex, getting her faced shoved in the toilet, you know keeping it classy and making her parents proud, because I guess she thinks the more hardcore you go, the more relevant you are in the industry, or maybe it’s because she’s so desensitized that it’s the only way to go. I just know I don’t find it hot, but you probably will, so watch it.

Go Vote in some Contest all the Pornstars are Going Nuts Over
GO

Posted in:Bree Olson|Dirty|Fetish|Porn|Pornstar|Rough|Sex

2009

31

Mar

Star Trek Porn Set of the Day

Hustler is releasing some Star Trek themed porn and it made me laugh. Not because I ever watched Star Trek, but because you probably have. Sure these pictures don’t really represent what you’d expect to see on a pornset, something I’ve never really been on, unless you count the time I video taped some fat girl running away from my erect penis, but I don’t think you do.

Posted in:Porn|Set|Star Trek

2009

13

Mar

Shauna Sand Keeps Good Company of the Day

I guess it’s only natural to associate yourself with people with like-minded people and by like-minded I mean have the same plastic surgeon. By the looks of these haggard sluts, it looks like they have both spent their fair share of time in the waiting room and that’s where they probably met.

If you’re wondering who the girl Shauna Sand is hanging with, her name is Taylor Wane and she’s some Hall of Fame pornstar who looks like a fuckin’ mess, but then again a lot of pornstars look like messes by the time they are 25, you know with the drugs, dirty sex and hard lives, so I guess if anything, she’s the kind of woman you’d want to end up like, if you are new to the industry, because she’s not dead, she just looks it.

I just hate this fake porn shit, give me an everyday girl with a set of real tits and I don’t care how many guys she’s fucked, or how many times she’s had the Clap, I just can’t take the jacked up tits and faces, it’s too fuckin’ strange to me and I can’t figure out who told them it looks great…or how they can look in the mirror and think they look presentable enough to leave the fucking house, you’d think the pointing, screaming and crying kids would tip the off to covering up their fuckin’ shit. Ya know what I mean…

Posted in:Porn|Shauna Sand|Taylor Wane|Tits

2009

25

Feb

Kim Kardashian in Some Pedicure Porn of the Day

I’ve posted this Kim Kardashian pedicure porn a few times before. It’s pretty fucking repetitive. I mean following some fat chick on her mundane daily errands for vanity is something I won’t do with my wife, so I don’t see why I am doing it over the internet for this whore, but it looks like I’m in too deep. The truth is that Kardashian gets her nails done because her feet are the only thing on her body that fits into the same size as skinny chicks, so she has to take serious care of these fucking things, because if they were to get all jacked up and fungus from neglect, since she can’t see or reach her toes, she can’t wash them properly, gangrene could set in and she could need to get the shit amputated, leaving her with nothing that fits into the same size as a skinny chick. If she really was out on an errand for vanity, she’d probably be better off going to the liposuction doctor.

Either way, here are the pics and video because you food fetishists will like this.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Pedicure|Porn