I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Sam Ronson Category

2011

18

Nov

Erin Foster is Sam Ronson’s New Pussy I Want to Fuck of the Day

So David Foster, a Canadian music billionaire, who is behind pretty much everyone in he fucking world of music….has a lesbian daughter…or a bi-sexual daughter…who has found herself another musicians daughter….who is also bi-sexual…to rub her vagina up against until she squirts….

I don’t know if it is a marketing thing, or if it is just true love cuz as two rich kid dykes, they get each other on a level no one else ever will, except maybe Sam Ronson’s twin sister, who I can only assume her lesbianism is trying to replace, cuz twins are weird like that…

All this to say, I’ve met Sam Ronson. I like Sam Ronson. This is going to further destroy Lindsay Lohan, harder than any of Ronson’s double fisting ever could, not cuz I like a destroyed Lohan, she’s damaged enough, I just like drama between girls who are mean to me.

Posted in:Erin Foster|Sam Ronson

2009

15

Jul

Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson Porn of the Day

The other day, I was talking to a girl and the conversation turned to porn, as it often does with me. Not because I actually like porn, but because people just assume I am the worst porn site on the internet and label me as a porn site, because porn is the only thing that supports what I do, while mainstream is too pussy to show me some love.

We were talking about what porn that I would produce porn would be like and one of us suggested that I do Hannah Montana porn starring her, and I thought the whole thing was a great ideal, until I realized she was 14 and creeped the fuck out because some random dude started chatting her up allegedly asking her to star in Hannah Montana porn, but from what I remember it was all her doing, but try convincing the cops of that….

Either way, Hustler beat me to the parody shit and produced this Lohan/Ronson shit that isn’t really believable, but still pretty fuckin’ funny.

Here’s the hardcore Trailer…..

I believed this sex parody up until the second I saw Sam Ronson in a pair of women’s panties, everyone knows that she wears boxers so all credibility went to shit, not to mention the “real” Lohan’s tits are far better than this slut, her vagina is far more weathered and used, her eyes are more glassed over/high, and her face isn’t so fresh faced which is kinda depressing when you’re being compared to a ghetto porn slut, but other than that I feel like I’m in some kind of other dimension where I can’t tell who is the real Lohan and who is the fake one….and I guess we all know what Ronson’s gonna be masturbating to while on the road.

Here are some pictures of the “real” Lohan the other day….

And some more pictures of the “real” Lohan

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Porn|Sam Ronson

2009

07

Apr

Sam Ronson’s Wild Dog of the Day

You can’t make this shit up…This is the headline that came with this picture:

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – Sunday April 5 2009. A wild dog is spotted outside Samantha Ronson’s Los Angeles home. Neither Samantha nor her on/off lover Lindsay Lohan were seen at the property at the time of the coyote’s visit.

I guess it was a nice change of pace for her neighbors that it was an actual wild dog and not just a rabid, manic, droolin, barking, yelping, screaming, raging, hormonal, insane, Lohan that needs to be takin’ out back and shot.

Posted in:Coyote|Sam Ronson|Wild Dog

2009

25

Feb

Sam Ronson And Her Lesbian Acoustic Performance of the Day

I saw some paparazzi pictures of Lindsay Lohan following Sam Ronson and her acoustic guitar around for some performance in Vegas yesterday, and I thought that just what the world needs is another lesbian with another acoustic guitar to sing songs that are inspired by the day they got raped and/or molested and/or trying to stay trendy by hating dick. Here’s the video, it’s too bad she didn’t get Lohan to do her back-up dancing. Sounds like there were a solid 5 people in the audience….love how the asshole she’s with talks politics, that’s just what I want when I am there to cry to lesbians who have been wronged in their spoiled, connected, rich girl lives.

Posted in:Acoustic|Sam Ronson

2009

30

Jan

Lohan and Ronson’s Myspace Ad Predicts the Future of the Day

I was checking the obits today to see if anyone I know has passed on. I do it every couple of days, not because I plan on going to funerals, but because I just like knowing, especially when they are dudes I used to run around and get drunk and high with, because it reminds me that I’m next so I might as well update the site because it may all end soon.

Anyway, I get to the site and guess who is lookin’ back at me, fucking Lohan and Ronson advertising Myspace. Sure the whole thing was totally inappropriate, but I mean what kind of ads can you really run along a person’s death notice? But I just imagined kids logging on there to read the notes people are leaving their dead parent or sibling who died from childhood cancer, eyes filled with tears, ripped from the inside out with emotion, only to experience this journey with this lesbian fucking duo and I was offended.

Until I realized that it’s some weird psychic shit, that brings up so many questions. Is it their relationship that is about to die or is dead, is it because Lohan’s career is dead, or is it just a preview of what’s to come when Lindsay finally kills herself because dying will bring the notoriety she’s always wanted and her multiple personality/manic depression, her drug use and her starvation, will get the best, and that’s when I realized why the run such inappropriate ads, it’s to give the people hurting hope, hope of a brighter day to come and new beginnings, a hope of life going on without that loved one, a life without Lohan polluting it.

Posted in:Ali Lohan|death|Lindsay Lohan|Sam Ronson|Slut

2008

17

Jul

Sam Ronson Blows Lohan a Kiss of the Day

I like Sam Ronson. I don’t know if she’s a good DJ, but I do know she’s good at marketing herself, since Celebrity DJs who want to get paid, need a Celebrity relationship and if they really want to get noticed, it’s better to make that Celebrity Relationship as scadelous as possible with one of the most popular girls in the gossip magazines.

She went from being the rich kid sister of some music producer that only some people have heard of, to being this IT girl everyone is talking about. That’s not to say they aren’t in love, or that they don’t bump pussies, but it is to say that in order to get to that high profile relationship, she’s gotta eat a lot of shit. I am not talking about licking Lohan’s asshole, I am talking about level she has to deal with a totally unstable, drug addicted 20 year old, who doesn’t know right from left, who has been rumored to be seen talking to herself in clubs while high, and who comes from a crazy family with a spoiled cunt upbringing where she always gets what she wants, leading me to believe she’s a demanding little whore.

So here’s Sam Ronosn, trying to make a name for herself and trying to enjoy this high quality celebrity pussy, despite the herpes ourbreaks and she’s probably trapped trying to balance it all out so that she doesn’t go insane. I remember a time when I was working security at a psyh ward of a hospital and trying to control this nut cases, or convers with these nut cases put a strain on me, but I did get some of the best blowjobs in my life, but that could only be because I’d finish as fast as possible so that the crazy slut wouldn’t relapse into her memories of her countless molestations of the past and bite my dick off.

So everyone shits on her for dressing like a dude, or looking like a dude, when I don’t find anything about her all that offensive, I don’t think she looks like a man, she’s just skinny. I don’t think her style is that different than hipster chicks I see out, and the truth is I have the same watch as her. Sure I got mine in Chinatown for about 4 dollars and it doesn’t work, but it still means we have the same taste.

Either way, here are pictures of her blowing a kiss to Lohan because if she doesn’t it may upset Lohan and throw her off into some kind of bipolar rage where she fucks the cast and crew of her movie, doesn’t sleep for three days and masters the art of crying and laughing hysterically at the same time.

So enjoy these pics of Ronson walking on glass, because I am sure she’s not enjoying living this mess she’s got herself caught up inside, despite all the money she’s found herself making and the name she’s managed to put on the map.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Sam Ronson