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Archive for the Porn Category

2008

27

Mar

Disney Advertises on Smut Sites of the Day

The most wholesome family corporation fucks up again. First, Walt Disney was caught molesting kids after taking them to his magic kingdom and showing them special cartoons he drew for them on his penis, true story my grandmother told me he did it to her. Then they made Nazi propaganda videos for Hitler to help kill the jews who were stepping on Disney’s Waspy toes in Hollywoo. Then they were accused of subliminal messages in they movies trying to program kids to hate black people and gays and now they advertise next to porn.

I was scoping out some celebrity smut site that pretty much only posts celebrity nudity, sex tapes, nipple slips and upskirts next to some seriously desperate, virginal commentary and I was pretty shocked to see Goofy staring back at me.

I guess the real reason why I am posting this is because I think my site is more softcore than the smut other sites post, I think it is less offensive but I am red flagged as a porn site and can never land a mainstream deal, like alcohol companies, movie companies, video game companies, so I will never make big money off this shit. Meanwhile, assholes doing the same fuckin’ thing as me but with less finesse according to me and who give the illusion of being SFW by putting stars on a dick and nipple and cunt but still post the dirty version a click away, so that you see full dick are getting these Disney Deals.

Sure what it really comes down to is that I am bad at business, and I don’t really know what I am doing. So good for this site for tricking this system and cashing in on it, but I still think someone at Disney should get fired because seeing their image next to smut is something that I know I find offensive. I am pretty sure their Christian, right winged loyal Disney fans, the kind of bitch who lives alone and collects Mickey Mouse merchandise, wouldn’t approve of.

The reality is that this smut angle could be Disney’s new way of re-inventing themselves. You know first they get Jamie Lynn spears teenage pregnant and now they post next to celebrity nudity, next thing you know they’ll be producing sex tapes, which would make sense since it worked for Paris. I guess this is a glimpse into the future of the world…it will be a debauchery HIV filled mess,because you know when Disney sponsors sex tape sites, the end of the future of our kids is near and I am excited….

Here are some screenshots of this highly offensive Disney campaign:

Posted in:Disney|Porn

2007

01

Nov

I am – Tera Patrick Does Halloween of the Day

Girls don’t understand that after we’re through banging them, we really want nothing to do with them, until the next time we want to bang them and have no better pussy lined up. That’s how people end up married, they get hooked on the constant sex that takes little to no work to get, because we are lazy. The same goes for porn. Once we’ve seen a girl fuck a ton of dudes and suck a ton of dicks, we’ve pretty much got no use for her, because we know we’d never fuck her and if we really wanted to, we’d just have to come up with about 10,000 dollars, because all pornstars escort on the side. So I don’t even know why I am posting these Tera Patrick pics, she’s pretty much dead to me and I don’t even watch porn. People never believe me when I say that, but it’s true. Maybe it’s because my penis doesn’t work and I can’t pretend I am the dude fucking some nasty big pussied whore but I think it’s just because I don’t like what porn chicks look like. I am more into amateur shit, but that’s just because watching real couples fuck is real and not performance art like the studio shit, not that there’s much art or performing involved, but shit’s not real.

Either way, here’s Tera Patrick wearing more clothes than we’re used to seeing her disgusting ass in, eating more food than her fat back probably needs and rockin’ out with her pimp of a husband who probably feels like he won the lottery, but that’s just because he’s bald and Jewish and she’s good for business, and by business I mean managing her is his source of income…but I am sure they are in love….just look how he sticks his tongue out at her like she’s an ice cream cone if you don’t believe me…because everyone loves ice cream, especially my wife.

Related Posts:

Tera Patrick Last Halloween
Tera Patrick’s Showing Off Her Huge Rack
Tera Patrick Showing Off Her Tits

Posted in:cleavage|Halloween|Implants|Porn|Tera Patrick|Trash|Unsorted

2007

12

Sep

I am – Kim Kardashian and Jenna Jameson Do the Heatherette Show of the Day

I never understood Heatherette, they are some kind of drugged up club kid tranny shit that all these celebrity bitches fell in love with and bought into and now they are making more money than anyone you know being all drugged up tranny club kid outrageousness. Either way, Kim Kardashian and Jenna Jameson were some of the “stars” and I used that term loosely, more loose than both of their porned up twats, who modeled for their fashion show.

I fucking hate porn bitches but I guess there’s something nice about seeing a successful mainstream pornstar and an unsuccessful amateur pornstar hanging out. It’s like seeing the Big Brothers of America teaching some homeless poor kid how to play baseball. I know they are both sluts and that they both put out for money like the street trash drug addicts I used to pay to fuck and they let the people doing them film them like it’s not a big deal which is amazing because trying to convince girls over the years to let me bust out my polaroid never really worked out for me. The best I got was a picture of one of them sleeping with part of her tit hanging out, but I even got busted for that and she destroyed it. So as I suck at life, these girls who seemingly suck at life too, also suck dick on camera and hang out at fashion shows together.

I can only assume that Jenna got casted in the part because bitch looks like a fucking tranny, and apparently Heatherette is into trannies. I love how fucking serious she’s taking this gig like it’s a fucking academy award performance or her first big break onto the fashion model scene because no matter what she does or how she does it, I will always know that she’s nothing but a broken down girl with daddy issues, who used her cunt to get ahead…a cunt that looks like she may soon be turning into a cock. Porn Bitches are trash. I’d rather see everyday girls get fucked any day. That’s the end of that.

Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian Bikini Pictures
Kim Kardashian Pussy Preview Video
More Kim Kardashian Sex Tape Preview VIdeos
Jenna Jameson is the Living Dead

Posted in:Fashion Show|Heatherette|Jenna Jameson|Kim Kardashian|Porn|Sex|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

07

Sep

I am – Vanessa Hudgens Self-Shot Amateur Erotica of the Day

There is nothing sexier than an ugly chick who is barely 18 naked on camera for her gay boyfriend who she doesn’t now is faggot yet, because her publicist told her not to ask any question when he asks her to stick inanimate objects his ass cuz that’s the only way he cums….Except for maybe an ugly chick in a shitty movie and TV show that is probably one of the lamest concepts of all time and people everywhere are buying into it making me realize that we have no hope as a species.

There’s something really funny about girls who get naked for their boyfriends on camera, sure it almost makes sense when you are in a long distance relationship and dude needs to get off to his baby who is across the country or some shit, but for the most part, it’s not done for that reason.

Naked pics of a girlfriend are only of use to anyone when the relationship is over, when you are together with your significant other, he’s not going to jerk off to your pics, he’s going to jerk off on your face, and when you leave him for his best friend, he’s going to take those pics to the internet….or will use them to jerk off remembering the pussy that once was now that he’s not getting any and he’s out of a best friend. So my theory is that naked pics is something dudes manipulate their girls into doing as leverage, or as a back-up plan for when her vagina isn’t around anymore and I think girls go along with it because it’s this whole wanting to be the object of desire, wanted to be the hottest piece of ass, wanting guys to jerk off to you, and it’s pretty much the basis of our existance. If bitches didn’t compete to be the hottest, sexiest, most fertile, we’d live in a world of flannel pajamas, tubs of empty ice cream pints and fat asses with big mangled stinky bush…something that Vanessa Hudgens is pretty used to, I wonder if she had known this was going to hit the net if she would have made a different pubic decision, or if she’s confident in he little badger of a cunt that she’s delivered….which to me shows laziness and lack of commitment to the cause, except for maybe the candles she lit up, but that’s only because deep down inside I am a romantic…

Girls if you’re out there, lets do a little game called recreate the Vanessa Hudgens pics, and show her that you’re way more worth jerking off too, and remember all that shit I said about guys taking pics of their girls naked to exploit them is just jokes baby, anything you send me will stay between you and me, I promise….

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Vanessa Hudgens Nude Pictures that Were Leaked
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Posted in:amateur|Bush|erotica|Highschool Musical|Lingerie|Porn|Selfshot|Tits|Unsorted|Vanessa Hudgens

2007

28

Aug

I am – Tera Patrick Showing Off her Tits of the Day

Since my stepdaughter hasn’t shown up in the last 4 days and has been writing posts from god knows where, I am forced to put up these posts from her gay friend Julien. Now I generally try to stay as far away from fags as I can, not because I am scared they are going to try to fuck me, even the horniest fag won’t hit on me, I just don’t have what it takes and I remember once feeling depressed about that, thinking shit, I must be pretty fucking ugly for a fag not to try to get with me, when fags pretty much fuck anything that walk, but then realized that it’s a good thing..and the reason I stay away from fags is not because of the annoying twang in their voice or annoying light on their feet strut, it is because AIDS is the gay disease and I’ll never forgive them for that….

Since all the blogs with gay writers are making huge money, I am jumping on the bandwagon and hoping the queers out there eventually flock to this site and bring your fag hags with you because that’s when I’ll know that I’ve made it.

Here’s what Julien had to say:

The thing I like about trannies and their boobs is that they know their boobâ€™s arenâ€™t real, they have no problem or hang ups about showing them off. A few years ago I was really good friends with this trannie and she would always wear REALLY low cut shirts and she never wore a bra. After she had a few drinks in her she would go up to guys and start yanking down her shirt and play with her boobs. Because for her, he boobs were nothing more than augmented skin with some silicon stuffed inside. Well this one time she and I were walking down the street and she flashes some guy walking by and this woman runs up to her and starts yelling at her, saying things like â€œYou should have some self-respectâ€? and â€œYou donâ€™t need to show your breasts to get attentionâ€?. I thought that was pretty funny because my tranny friend was not passable at all. I mean infants and dogs could tell that she used to be a man. But here was this woman yelling at her about how women need to have respect about their breasts.

Now I donâ€™t really know how this story links to these pics of Tera Patrick. I donâ€™t know who Tera Patrick is. But Iâ€™m assuming she some sort of tranny because only a tranny would be showing off her boobs like that.

P.S. I was trying to think of something to write about her dumbass sparkly Hello Kitty necklace, but I couldnâ€™t come up with anything good. So letâ€™s pretend that I wrote something really bitchy. Ok?

Smooch!
Julien

Related Posts:

Tera Patrick’s Huge Rack
Tera Patrick’s Halloween Costume Ass
Chyna is a Man and these are her Panties

Posted in:Implants|Porn|Pornstar|Slut|Tera Patrick|Tits|Unsorted

2007

22

Aug

I am – Jessica Simpson and Her True Calling of the Day

Shortly after I turned 18 this year, one of my many boyfriends convinced me to do a porn with him. I was really broke at the time from running up my new credit card and needed the money and figured what the hell you know? He had hooked up with some porn producer in Montreal who was offering good money to couples willing to fuck on camera and given the fact that we a) fucked all the time anyways and b) were both pretty broke, jumped at the chance. I’ll try anything once.

Anyways, there was a point where he was standing up and I was down on my knees, in my panties with no bra, giving him a blow job for the camera. The director made us stop and told my boyfriend that he needed to talk more. My boyfriend (who was usually quite vocal in bed) didnâ€™t seem to want to talk much but they thought we were hot together and liked what they saw. He didnâ€™t have a problem calling me a whore in private, but for some reason in front of others, the cat had his tongue, so to speak.

So the director decided to do it for him and gets right up behind him, while Iâ€™m still going down on him ferociously with the camera pointed on me so they don’t give away that my boyfriend wasn’t the one talking and some french director has his head on my boyfriend’s shoulder giving the usual porn dialog you would come to expect like â€˜Suck that cock you dirty slut, you like that you dirty whore.â€™ etc, but he has this really thick French accent that made him sound like Pepe Le Pew from the old Looney Toon cartoons. So Iâ€™m there on my knees, looking at my boyfriend who is borderline laughing his ass off and this French porn director pretending to be his voice but Iâ€™m trying to keep a straight face with a cock in my mouth cause the camera is zoomed in on me and me only.

Thankfully he busted his load rather quick, they called the end of the scene, and I ran into the restroom and laughed hysterically for five minutes. That was my first and last foray into the world of porn. Now I save being a slut for behind closed doors and dirty bathrooms in bars for the most part.

Jessica Simpson needs to realize however, that sometimes your calling is just chosen for you. You can try to go into other areas of work, but when destiny has itâ€™s path laid out in front of you, you canâ€™t fuck with it. All the cards are right there on the table, you just got to accept it and roll with it.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

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Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Porn|Slut|Unsorted

2007

09

Jul

I am – Tera Patrick’s huge rack of the day

Tera Patrick at Crobar

My stepdaughter is pretty bored this summer and has taking an interest in what I do, so I decided to let her post here and manage the site when I leave for the cruise my wife won this week. She’s 18. She’s been raised properly by me since she was 12 and if I didn’t think she was good enough to pick up my slack, I wouldn’t let her take this shit over for the few weeks I am gone. So this is her first post.

I have no idea who Tera Patrick is, but apparently she was a special guest at Crobar in Chicago and made an appearance a few nights ago. Iâ€™m guessing she is some sort of celebrity, or they wouldnâ€™t have invited her to host anything, anywhere, and judging by the stuffed Hello Kitty doll, her cheap looking dress which was probably really expensive and her gigantic rack, Iâ€™m gonna say sheâ€™s a porn star.

There was a girl in the fourth grade named Beth who stole my boy friend, cause she had developed faster then all of us, gave blow jobs and had huge tits, while the rest of us just wanted to hold hands and play Pogs. It gave me this great anxiety complex where I was completely disgusted with my own body for a few years after and wore baggy clothes to completely cover it up. Everyone (mostly guys) always told me not to be worried about it, but I have a feeling that if every person they walked by could see the size of their cock and judge it as they wished, they would be changing their tune pretty fucking fast.

I went through a phase about 2 years ago where regardless of how nice they were, I wanted implants, and I was going to get them if it was the last thing I did. I even went as far as to start saving the money from my shitty job I still have at Dairy Queen to get them, looked into doctors, the whole nine yards. Luckily, one doctor I met with wasnâ€™t a money grubbing prick, and instead of showing me lovely after pictures of happy women with their enlarged breasts, he showed me a video of the operation and how the women looked like they had been in a fucking car wreck after. He told me to get fuck out of his office and that was pretty much the end of me wanting implants. I suddenly had a new appreciation for my small, but nice, tits.

I ran into to Beth not long ago, it looked like her ass had finally caught up to those huge tits, and that all those huge tits and blow jobs got her was 2 kids, a welfare check and a black eye I’m presuming she got from which ever guy she is currently sleeping with. Serves you right, bitch. Heres some more pics of Tera Patrick. Her huge tits and blow jobs made her a fortune.

Related Posts I am – Tera Patrick Halloween of the Day
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GO I am – stepTV Does Debbie Does Dallas Again
GO

Posted in:Implants|Porn|Pornstar|Tera Patrick|Tits|Unsorted

2007

09

Jul

I am – Tera Patrick's huge rack of the day

Tera Patrick at Crobar

My stepdaughter is pretty bored this summer and has taking an interest in what I do, so I decided to let her post here and manage the site when I leave for the cruise my wife won this week. She’s 18. She’s been raised properly by me since she was 12 and if I didn’t think she was good enough to pick up my slack, I wouldn’t let her take this shit over for the few weeks I am gone. So this is her first post.

I have no idea who Tera Patrick is, but apparently she was a special guest at Crobar in Chicago and made an appearance a few nights ago. I’m guessing she is some sort of celebrity, or they wouldn’t have invited her to host anything, anywhere, and judging by the stuffed Hello Kitty doll, her cheap looking dress which was probably really expensive and her gigantic rack, I’m gonna say she’s a porn star.

There was a girl in the fourth grade named Beth who stole my boy friend, cause she had developed faster then all of us, gave blow jobs and had huge tits, while the rest of us just wanted to hold hands and play Pogs. It gave me this great anxiety complex where I was completely disgusted with my own body for a few years after and wore baggy clothes to completely cover it up. Everyone (mostly guys) always told me not to be worried about it, but I have a feeling that if every person they walked by could see the size of their cock and judge it as they wished, they would be changing their tune pretty fucking fast.

I went through a phase about 2 years ago where regardless of how nice they were, I wanted implants, and I was going to get them if it was the last thing I did. I even went as far as to start saving the money from my shitty job I still have at Dairy Queen to get them, looked into doctors, the whole nine yards. Luckily, one doctor I met with wasn’t a money grubbing prick, and instead of showing me lovely after pictures of happy women with their enlarged breasts, he showed me a video of the operation and how the women looked like they had been in a fucking car wreck after. He told me to get fuck out of his office and that was pretty much the end of me wanting implants. I suddenly had a new appreciation for my small, but nice, tits.

I ran into to Beth not long ago, it looked like her ass had finally caught up to those huge tits, and that all those huge tits and blow jobs got her was 2 kids, a welfare check and a black eye I’m presuming she got from which ever guy she is currently sleeping with. Serves you right, bitch. Heres some more pics of Tera Patrick. Her huge tits and blow jobs made her a fortune.

Related Posts I am – Tera Patrick Halloween of the Day
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Posted in:Implants|Porn|Pornstar|Tera Patrick|Tits|Unsorted

2007

27

Jun

I am – Noelia the Puerto Rican Singer’s Sex Tape of the Day

I have no idea who this is and I assume she’s not that famous because Puerto Rico isn’t big enough to have celebrities, unless they come to America and dress like J.Lo, but I do know that she was in a Sex Tape and that this is that Sex Tape. The fucking quality of the sound makes me assume these fuckers are using some 1950’s video camera because they are all third world and shit, but she takes it in the ass and that’s really what dreams are made of.

The reality of the whole thing is that if you are a popstar anywhere, even if you’re from some middle of fucking no where russian town, you shouldn’t let your boyfriend film you fucking, it’s going to hit the internet. The dream may be that it launches you into international fame, but reality is that people like you just like seeing girls fuck and it doesn’t matter who they are or what they do. I can guarantee that none of you fucks are going out to buy her CDs after seeing this, but at least you got to see it.

I love that celebrity sex tapes don’t use condoms. I don’t think this bitch is a celebrity, but I do think that real celebs don’t wear condoms either, that’s why they all have herpes. I was sent a few porno movies a while ago and every fucking dude in them wore condoms, I guess it’s the law after that whole AIDS scare a few years ago, but I was raised on watching condomless sex, and I don’t think you should bang that random without a condom on, because STDs suck, but if you’re going to jerk off to some porn, why the hell would they throw in a tool that fucks up your hard ons in real life. That would be like throwing in a picture of your mom in the top right corner like they do for deaf people on Sesame Street saying shit like “Son, I know what you’re doing, stop that, your mother is watching”.

Either way – Here’s the video – It’s NSFW – It’s from Rapidshare – It’s a RAR File – I don’t Know How To Convert/Upload – If you can do it, send it my way, thanks….
GO

You can stream it here
GO

Posted in:Noelia|Popstar|Porn|Sex Tape|Unsorted

2007

27

Jun

I am – Noelia the Puerto Rican Singer's Sex Tape of the Day

I have no idea who this is and I assume she’s not that famous because Puerto Rico isn’t big enough to have celebrities, unless they come to America and dress like J.Lo, but I do know that she was in a Sex Tape and that this is that Sex Tape. The fucking quality of the sound makes me assume these fuckers are using some 1950’s video camera because they are all third world and shit, but she takes it in the ass and that’s really what dreams are made of.

The reality of the whole thing is that if you are a popstar anywhere, even if you’re from some middle of fucking no where russian town, you shouldn’t let your boyfriend film you fucking, it’s going to hit the internet. The dream may be that it launches you into international fame, but reality is that people like you just like seeing girls fuck and it doesn’t matter who they are or what they do. I can guarantee that none of you fucks are going out to buy her CDs after seeing this, but at least you got to see it.

I love that celebrity sex tapes don’t use condoms. I don’t think this bitch is a celebrity, but I do think that real celebs don’t wear condoms either, that’s why they all have herpes. I was sent a few porno movies a while ago and every fucking dude in them wore condoms, I guess it’s the law after that whole AIDS scare a few years ago, but I was raised on watching condomless sex, and I don’t think you should bang that random without a condom on, because STDs suck, but if you’re going to jerk off to some porn, why the hell would they throw in a tool that fucks up your hard ons in real life. That would be like throwing in a picture of your mom in the top right corner like they do for deaf people on Sesame Street saying shit like “Son, I know what you’re doing, stop that, your mother is watching”.

Either way – Here’s the video – It’s NSFW – It’s from Rapidshare – It’s a RAR File – I don’t Know How To Convert/Upload – If you can do it, send it my way, thanks….
GO

You can stream it here
GO

Posted in:Noelia|Popstar|Porn|Sex Tape|Unsorted