Dying Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

Archive for the Dying Category

2010

Mar

Mischa Barton is a Bloated Pig of the Day

I watched the OC back when every college girl watched the OC and I needed to know what was going on to fit in at every college party I would go to because they had the cheapeat drinks and the best, drunkest, slutty girls….the most common drunken conversation was whether Mischa Barton or Rachel Bilson were hotter, I know, I can’t believe I would have such pathetic virginal conversations, but they did land me some serious playtime with young pussy and it was worth it. Either way, girls would always say how Mischa Barton was the hot one and I just didn’t get it cuz she always looked like she does in these pictures to me. I always new she was a bloated sloppy pig of a woman just waiting until the show was off the air to let herself go and I was right….

I don’t know what’s going on with this girl, but I know it’s nothing good, but maybe gutter pig women on the verge of death are your thing, because they are usually too unstable and weak to say no to anal, but what the fuck do I know.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Bloated|Dying|Mischa Barton

2009

Mar

Lindsay Lohan Death Watch Continues of the Day

2 Comments »

Bad news. The Lindsay Lohan Deathwatch continues, which means posting more boring pictures of the cunt doing absolutely nothing. Unfortunately, no plane crashes happened on the way back from Israel, or wherever the fuck they were reconnecting Sam Ronson’s DJing to it’s roots at Bar Mitzvahs where it came from and where it still belongs, bringing happiness to 14 year old horny boys and their slutty jacked up plastic surgeried mothers, there were no drug overdoses, or cardiac arrest or any of that shit, because I guess Moses is on her converting to what he considers the ultimate religion side or some shit.

What’s even more unfortunate is that here she is drinking coke, instead of free-basing it, because I guess she’s trying to fatten her dying-self up to keep this death watch going for a couple more weeks, and the whole thing is pretty fucking annoying.

Here they are in video leaving Villa Nightclub…

Here is another video of them on some “dinner date” which is code of ripping at each other’s faces off cuz of some drug fueled rage…

Posted in:Dying|Lindsay Lohan

2009

Mar

Lindsay Lohan Death Watch of the Day

7 Comments »

Despite looking like death, Lindsay Lohan is still alive, unfortunately, but the good news is that it probably won’t be for long. She’s in the UK doing her thing by going to synagogue and going on dinner dates with her lesbian lover, you know doing her girlfriend duties that don’t involve suckin Ronson’s clit, and both this girls look like fucking shit. I figure they’ve gone back to Ronson’s home to say their final goodbyes to their family and friends at one last bash before taking their own lives, but I could be wrong. I usually am.

On a sidenote, when wasted, I met a 16 year old girl in the bar I was drinking at and she was really into Lindsay Lohan, so I did what any perverted 40 year old would do when a 15 year old girl is in love with Lindsay Lohan, and made her flash me her vagina for her phone number. I am not sure how long it’ll take her to realize I gave her the wrong number because last thing I need is Lohan suing me for giving her number out, but I got to see 16 year old vagina. I figure as long as it goes down in a bar, where you legally have to be 18 to drink, it’s safe.

Wow, my posts are sucking today….

Here they are at a Bar Mitzvah becauase Ronson is Jewish, Lohan is Converting, because they know they are both dying and that in Judaism there is no hell…which makes being a sinner, addict and cunt….

Posted in:Dead|death|Dying|Lindsay Lohan

2009

Feb

Lindsay Lohan Slowly Dying of the Day

3 Comments »

So Lindsay Lohan went out shopping yesterday with her skinny fucking legs. If you’re wondering why I am posting these irrelevant pictures, it’s because I’ve decided to become a documentarian. If you’re wondering what I am trying to document, it is her obvious impending death. I figure I’ll just do it one post at a time eventually hitting the fuckin’ gold.

So in these pictures, you’ll notice that she has a cigarette in her hand. You’d think that the nicotine would constrict her blood vessels and increase her blood pressure enough to put her heart into shock, leading to her last puff being her last breath, but she manages to power through the shit without passing the fuck out and convulsing on the ground. I guess the rumors are true and she is a fucking cockroach…Maybe next time our documentary will conclude, but I’m sure she’s got a few more weeks in her. Stay tuned.

Guess what, Lohan and Ronson flew into the UK last night. Isn’t it exciting knowing that maybe, just maybe, their plane will crash on the flight home, ideally with only one fatality. I’m talking to you Lohan, or she could always just stay overseas, but I don’t see much fun in that, unless she got kidnapped by Terrorists and left in the desert when they realized her vagina was not good enough to gang rape, you know with all the open sores, forcing them to go back to fuck their camels, and not worth the ransom money they thought she was worth, you know since their a solid 5 years behind when it comes to popculture there.

Posted in:Dying|Lindsay Lohan

2009

Feb

Patrick Swayze Dying Pictures of the Day

17 Comments »

Everyone always focuses on the bad side of cancer, you know that it kills you and rapes your fucking body in the process, but no one every gives it the respect it deserves for not being contagious. Maybe it’s nature’s way of weening out the perfectly strong, healthy and decent people, you know to make room for assholes like Lohan who throw their fucking lives down the fucking toilet because they hate themselves.

The point is that Patrick Swayze isn’t Magic Johnson with AIDs, dude has one of those cancers that doesn’t respond to treatment and that can’t be operated on and it’s pretty fucking sad to see. I have a feeling he’ll get criticized that when these pics were taken he smoked a solid 4 cigarettes according to the paparazzi, while when you’ve smoked all your life and are on your deathbed and smoking calms you the fuck down, then maybe it’s not so bad, maybe it’d go a little better with some liquor, some downers, some pot or even some heroin. It’s at that who gives a fuck stage where maybe he should do a little Point Break shit and surf his way into the Tsunami, fuck tranny hookers with no condoms, rape and pillage a small african village, fuckin’ drive into oncoming traffic, sky dive without a parachute or rob a couple fucking banks.

The point is that I feel for his wife, this shit sucks for them and you should all pray for a miracle, even though praying doesn’t work, it’s just the right thing to do….

Posted in:Cancer|Dying|Patrick Swayze

2008

Dec

Bettie Page Is Gonna Die….of the Day

7 Comments »

Rockabilly Pin-up Alternative Model Fat Chicks are probably not getitng out of bed today, mourning the soon to be loss of their idol, the God of their movement, the girl who inspired them to wear Corets, Vintage Lingerie and cut their bangs short and stupid, the one and only Bettie Page, who up until today, I thought was already dead, is about to die.

I am kinda upset that she is still alive and that I was wrong in thinking that she was already dead because a few years ago, I went through a phase where I’d only jerk off to nude pics of dead chicks, because some crazy part of me thought their spirit would be watching and that I wouldn’t be jerking off alone. I spent a solid 2 months on this kick and occassionally was jerking off to what I thought was a Betty Page’s dead pussy when it was in it’s 1950s prime, when I was really jerking off to some alive and well grandmother’s not quite dead pussy when it was in it’s prime and her spirit wasn’t in the room with me, but in some retirement community playing shuffle board. I feel like the 3 orgasms I’ve had over this bitch, thinking I was being all naughty with her and shit, were lies and I can’t get them back.

I hate you Bettie Page for robbing me of those orgasms, you were dead to me long ago, but here’s an R.I.P. motherfucker in advance.

I guess she deserves some thanks for being the leader of girls getting naked for money and without her being there willing to sacrifice her dignity for male attention and money, who knows what other slut of her time would have stepped in to lead the way. I guess we’d need Bill and Ted to figure that out and should appreciate her efforts to in innovating porn.

Here are some videos of her hot 1950s tits and remember you’ve always got Dita Von Teese’s shitty Betty Page Impersonation anytime you want to reconnect.

Here’s some Bettie Page Videos…..

To Read the Article on Bettie Page Dying….
GO

To See a Whole Lot of 1950s Pinup Grossness….
GO

Posted in:Bettie Page|Dead|Dying|RIP Motherfucker

2007

Dec

I am – Amy Winehouse in a Bra of the Day

10 Comments »

Amy Winehouse was seen at 6 am walking the streets barefoot in her bra lookin’ like she just woke up for an refreshing good night’s sleep and I think she’s lookin’ pretty hot, but I also think a plastic bag of ground beef is hot, that’s just because I live with a wife who is about as sexy as the shit she leaves smeared on our toilet seat, which is actually a lot hotter than it sounds, but still leaves me impotent.

The reality is that I am a monogamous masturbater. That pretty much means that when I used to jerk off I would only do it to the same girl over and over again, like we were in some kind of relationship she never knew about. If I wasn’t impotent, Amy Winehouse would be that girl but that’s just because I have a thing for skinny girls who are down and out and on the verge of death because I know that if she knew someone was jerking off to her, maybe she’d feel a little better about themselves and wouldn’t overdose. I am a hero like that.

Just remember if you see a girl on the street lookin’ like this, don’t run away, she’s already half naked and she’s probably easy pickings so you won’t have to cry to your friends about never getting laid. She’s also probably too busy self destructing to be high maintenance or demanding on you, you know asking why you never call or why you don’t want her meeting your friends. She’d pretty much be a dream girlfriend.

Related Posts:

Amy Winehouse Has Shorts
Amy Winehouse’s Dirty Panties
Amy Winehouse See Through Bikini
Amy Winehouse and Her Pink Box

Posted in:Disaster|Dying|Unsorted